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My Art~My Blog~My life

looking looking looking at you

It’s taking me a long time to deconstruct and deformalize my thinking. But it’s something I feel compelled to do in order to understand my life and creativity. I just feel this need to empower myself as an independent and an equal in order to express myself without reservations. The hope is that by deprogramming myself (bit by bit) I will find a way to express myself from a place of greater understanding in which I’m proud to take more ownership and accountability for my creative gestures. A place where I don’ take my baggage of insecurities and hang ups, where rules and regulations don’t exist.

I understand that what I write about my feelings may come across as a little bit precious, but I feel that creativity is bound in a process which is critically dependent upon all the gestures fed into it. I also feel that in an area of free expression one is compelled to explore the very nature of being beyond the formalities of society, tradition and language. To explore the essence  of existence without a compelling need for reason or justification, something which is so hard to do when we are hard wired and programmed into such a powerful interpretation of life and meaning.

But as an artist feeling somewhat alienated to the whole process and imprisonment of art within the constructs of society, you really do have to dig deep to find a way forward. Or at least I do and I am finding a way forward in my own peculiar way, a route which is shining a light towards exploring what appears in my thoughts and one which aknowledges the changes which occur as I move through life. Yes I’ve changed and I’m not the same man I used to be because that’s the way life is, I don’t fear change I want to embrace it.

I have committed my whole life to art and sometimes it feels like I’ve been engaged in a powerful and relentless dialouge. A place of struggle and very occassionaly elation which has brought a great deal of meaning to my life and also a lot of confrontation with all the rules and regulations of formality. On the whole I feel that it’s been a worthwhile pursuit because I’ve been able to see through the constructs of society and human conditioning and I’ve been able to experience the perception of freedom and what may be possible with an open mind.

Now I feel that I must try to move forward and practice art in a way that relates to my current thinking. So that I can see in practice what it would be like to just produce work which stems more from impulse and a little less from following an established practice. The art beyond concerns of good and bad and ego and all that baggage of the look at me arty bullshit hype. The art of it is what it is mate 🙂

Thanks for looking and have a good one 🙂



It’s away from all the noise and furore surrounding the practice and appraisal of art where I find my closest connection to truth. Where there are no expectations or rules to spoil the art of expression, the state called anarchy where ones soul resides. Because I believe that to truly express yourself you have to be care free, leaving your ego in the parking lot. It’s a state that I seem to touch upon briefly, but a state which demonstrates the value of understanding existence through expression.

At the moment I’m doing a few paintings, exploring how I feel in the moment when confronted with a canvas and some paints. Painting whatever feels right in the instance of time to just see what happens. It feels quite interesting and in some strange way it’s connecting all my lifes work and feels like I’ve come full circle. I have nothing to prove so there really is no pressure beyond my search for meaning.


I do feel that in the realms of free expression there is no good or bad art because value judgments are irrelevant to a creativity which doesn’t have a specific universal meaning. So whether people like or dislike paticular art is quite meaningless in the greater scheme of our organic existence in time and space. And it’s at this very point of thought where I find my freedom and get out clause from the compelling nature of societal laws of expectation. Because I can do what I want as an artist, however there is a big IF, which is, IF I can free up my thinking and release myself from bondage.


I feel there is this possibility that through expression, you may touch upon or connect to the force of life and existence. With the who what and why of our placement  within this arena of existence. A connection beyond the specifics of interpretation  that we are conditioned with through conventional traditions. So just maybe through uninterupted expression one may actually understand life with a greater level of purity. An understanding beyond that of language and the formalities of logic, rationality and intellectualism. Or to put it more simply, the freedom to experience life without prejudice from new perspectives.

on the eve of construction

Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂

PS- Still no spell checker so sorry for the typo’s

The Art of Trailblazing

out of the blue

I believe that it’s the duty of an artist is to lead, not follow, though it’s a bit easier said than done. Or it is for me because trying to blaze a trail even for myself is compromised by the multifarious machinations of life . But if you at least try to find the strength to blaze your own trail then the ball starts rolling and things happen. So in one sense it’s all about finding the courage to make that start by believing in yourself.

Textures from my life

Just Recently I’ve returned to painting as a means to checking in with my creative state. Painting in the moment as part of my ongoing quest into furthering my knowledge of  what human expression is all about. It’s that old chestnut for me about what is an uncompromised expression done without a care beyond the expression itself.

Funny Old Soul

So far I’ve made about five paintings, really enjoying the spontaneity of it all and I have to say I feel much more free than I ever did before. And it’s this freedom that I’m looking for so that I can just go for whatever it is that feels true to who I am and what I have to express. The liberation of the soul to stand clear of this life in which we are all so conditioed by the whims of society.

Paint me Bad

I’ve chosen acrylic paint to paint with as I really enjoy this medium for its quick drying and the way it can be layered without too much merging of colour. And perhaps finally through the painting of canvas and board I’m blazing a trail towards the real me and truth of who I am.


Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂

See For Yourself


I sometimes wonder if in the fog of life we ever really know who we are, understand how we feel about life and if we ever truly understand others. Just how in the tumult of everyday life do we access our true feelings about planet earth, nature and all that the world offers us, particularly when our lifes are so trapped. And I wonder if it’s important to feel comfortable in the silence of our own existence, with who we think we are in resolving a meaning for our life. Should we feel the need to be defined and driven by an identity or just free to be.

I have to admit that sometimes I don’t really understand anything, which I believe is resultant from my life as an artist exploring creativity. A life of constant questioning in which I’ve struggled to find definitive answers, and when I found tentative answers the curiosity of discovery only stimulated further questioning. And so through the creative process I’ve followed the well worn path of deconstruction followed by reconstruction, in perpetuity. The consequence of this being that the hole you dig becomes deeper over time, removing the constructs of conventional stability.

In life there can’t really be absolute rights or wrongs or even good or bad, because everything is subject to a subjective interpretation and so assumption and acceptance of theoretical probabilities (or possibilities) is all that we can go on. Our human interpretation of existence guided through science, economics, maths, arts, philosophy, religion, language and all the subjects we have evolved in our march towards civilisation. The ways we as humans have tried to explain understand, celebrate, create and destroy the world into which each of us were delivered as innocents. All these disciplines being the way civilization has evolved and consequently influences our ways of seeing and being.


So the world according to human perception is just one way of seeing and interpreting what is in existence all around us. Taking our five senses and evolving technologies to see beyond our perceptive capabilities. Something that as a curious artist really inspires my imagination to look beyond the obvious into the vastness of possibilities that are invisible to us.

(Because we are social beings that live in groups we are all easily influenced, looking for recognition and acceptance by our peers. So we fall into conventional fashions and indulge in viral behaviours that become affirmations of identity and status. Doing what we are told because we respond to assertive leadership such as the following of religious doctrines and political ideologies. Building an identity as a social construct, shaping our individual piece as part of the great jigsaw of life. Lives governed by the immediate geographical, political, and religious influence. Lives in which we are taught and showed how to be and think)

I believe that seeing and feeling the world through ones own eyes and visceral instinct is much more complicated than it sounds, or at least it is for me. In fact it’s taking a life-time of real and present struggle to understand and decipher the enormity of being a living entity with levels self-determination. Stepping through the illusion of what is taken for granted in an attempt to embrace a more fundamental reality. A reality beyond the cajolement and agitations we are all subjected to as part of our involvement with civilisation. A reality in which my desperation leads to a prevailing isolationist thinking in the search for something of substance.

In many ways my thoughts are like the age old rights of passage which many artists arrive at in their own ways. And they centre around truth, authenticity, connection and meaning, so that when you express yourself there is a fluency. That the marks you make in the moment are true and relevant to who and what you are.


I’ve never felt a strong need or dependency on other people and though I really enjoy socialising, I do need to spend time in a solitary way. Having the time to think and feel my own actuality so that I have the chance of exploring self-determination. I don’t look to be a follower, instead I attempt to see for myself and interpret what I see with minimum interference. I even remember as a child that it was my instinct not to be part of social groups and gangs because I didn’t enjoy the behavioural impact it had on myself and the people around me.

As I grow older I feel a greater sense of freedom and autonomy which is allowing me to see the world with greater clarity. By deconstructing the pillars of society I can see it as the construct which it is, and this allows me to change and move around with my own thoughts. Because in a life beyond the bullying from society there are other ideologies and ways of being, seeing and doing. Other solutions for humanity and other directions based around entirely different approaches to life.

I just feel we no longer need to be governed by tradition and past precedent, intimidated by classicism and the mausoleums or museums of past human endeavour. Held back from autonomous thinking by the academic institutions who wield their influence and maintain the status quo. A society controlled by the social engineering in which we are all manipulated into compliance. Surely at some point humanity has to break free from the imprisonment of the past to actually move forward with a definitive direction beyond bumbling along and blindly following capitalist ideologies.

In writing this blog I just explore my thoughts in what is a personal quest and I share it as I feel it’s all just a part of my artwork. A great example of freedom for me is feeling able to change, so that I’m not imprisoned by my past decisions. Because I often get it wrong and show poor judgment as most probably does everyone. You see we have to live and learn which is all about making mistakes and challenging the status quo.

Oh and by the way, my spell checker no longer works on wordpress 😦 so there will be quite a few typos.

Thanks for looking and have a great day 😉



In spite of everything and in spite of self, I do feel that life offers a challenge to find the real you. The unmasked soul that feels at one with thought and action, where truth is a mere fluent part of being. In my experience this fluency is felt in fleeting moments when I think and contemplate the challenges of artistic authenticity. In particular as I search for a theoretical truth and relevance to artistic expression which is beyond the trivialisation of the cloacking judgmental criteria (which art is subjected to through societies gaze).


It’s not that my life is a consciously active search but more a state of being in which I feel compelled to find some truth to my existence beyond the narratives imposed by society. Living a life without accepting the conventional benchmarks of society which exist as markers to safely guide us through life. And I feel this way because in order to express myself freely as an artist I need to feel free as a human being to feel and experience life without the predjudice of expectation and contrived values.


Expectation in itself is a complicated area in art for many reasons, ranging from what one feels society expects and how society shapes us into conformist beings within the parameters of  expectation. Here lies a fundamental problem, in that our national identity shapes us into ways of being and seeing which demonstrate our predicament. A predicament which imprisons art and compromises the freedom of human expression with the invisible constraints of conditioning. These are the challenges laid down to the artist and the invitation is to break them down. To burst through convention and discover the possibilities of a free human spirit.


Breaking down convention is where art comes alive and offers society something of  real value, value which goes beyond money and vanity. Because its a soulful value which can help people to see beyond the values of society and realise their human state. Art which is not about liking or taste but instead a direct communication from soul to soul. The base line of what I’m saying is that art is neither good or bad unless you impose a judgement upon it and a judgement is the subject of a bias. In fact one could go as far as saying that the more a person understands the conventions of art the less they are able to understand and see it without prejudice.


So to truly see and feel art, it may be that all you need to do is just be connected with your truth and allow impartiality to free oneself of expectation. I only write this as a reflection of my experience in trying to make art, as I’ve tried to overcome the many struggles and obstacles in my life. Fighting to break free from what feels like a metaphorical incarceration, a life in which I felt trapped, seeking desperately to free myself. I will say that after many years I do feel that I’ve freed myself on many levels and am now able to understand the constraints of society, nationality and the overwhelming doctrines which we impose upon ourselves and others.


As for my future as an artist, this is something I have grave doubts about, simply because I have no ambition or desire to show or make any new work. I’m tired of the struggle in trying to convince people of the relevance of my work because its very much like putting a square peg in a round hole. Art is a done deal in society and controlled through institution yet artists are free spirits in search of freedom. Their vulnerability laid bare through judgemental expectations and financial enslavement.

Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂


Everything is Art is Everything


It took me almost forty years to understand what I knew when I was sixteen, which is how in my childhood I was conditioned by society into ways of seeing, thinking and believing. I felt restricted back then to point where I remember crying out in frustration as I tried to grasp what existing within society was all about, always aware that there was something more real. And that a grounding reality was my birth right as a life form cast out onto the surface of a planet, inextricably connected to the force that facilitates creation.

Being a part of this huge infinity is something I still feel unable to deny and even though I will never understand it, I do believe we as sentient beings can feel it in our moments of silence. In making art I’ve spent so much time trying to connect to what I am and in spite of the distractions of society I feel that I’ve made some progress in my own ways of seeing. Observing imagery and understanding that all creativity (natural and man-made) can be viewed as art.

As the years have passed by I’ve grown increasingly aware of a fundamental duality in our lives, our natural state of being and our social (society dwelling) being. It’s a duality which tears me apart as an artist, because I feel able to see through the constructs of society which are there to limit our possibilities. These constructs teach us what art is and yet when you explore creativity art is so much more than formal arrangements. Art is in its essence really, well just an unquantifiable set of possibilities.

Ball Bag

If you take creativity as a fundamental tenet of art, then art is everything and everything is art because everything (which exists) is the subject of a creative process. Through subjectivity and objectivity everything is also interesting by its very nature of existence, whilst some things may please or capture some of us more than others. So following this assumption of art, it makes it a huge part of life and fundamental to the existential actuality of being.

And so as an artist, making art has taught me that there really is no good or bad art unless you subjectively judge it with preconceptions. It has also taught me that nature is art in itself, as it perpetually applies new coatings and life forms on the global canvas we call planet earth. But what I feel that being (a so-called) an artist has taught me, is that my role is more about provoking people into seeing in new ways and embracing the visual feast of existential living. Because art (for me) is not about individuals being amazing but instead an appreciation of this beautiful life and world that we (often) take for granted.

Sometimes I’m guilty of taking nature for granted, accepting it as my actuality and then sometimes I question what exactly it is, which is a question beyond my comprehension. As humans we can impose upon the wonders of nature with our self declared artistic mastery, but if we try too hard we may just become poor imitators and try hards, unable to really see, hear ,touch, taste and smell true wonders. Beings blinded by ego, vanity and ambition existing in the man-made world. Which is why I feel that a bit of humility helps in the serving up and dishing out of art.

I’ve felt torn apart as I tried to express myself and find a place within society so that I could exist with food and shelter. Selling my art to pay my way and in the process treading on my dreams with the dilution of my possibilities. The reality has been a life of compromise in which I’ve had to trawl the depths to understand the predicament which we as humans face. And on a theoretical level I now feel able to understand life a little and have found a meaning and purpose of art.

love hate war peace

Thanks for looking 🙂

The Whole in my Soul

A few years ago I became aware that I was unable to express myself without filtering my content and felt imprisoned by  an invisible source. On reflection I believe it concerned the taming of my spirit as my art and raw state of being had to be compromised for the (art)world in which my art was a commodity. I was seen as having a raw talent but it needed to be directed towards a more sanitized commodification. The problem with this was that the compromise was very much the thin end of a wedge which damaged the inspiration behind my work. I the artist felt obliged to be honest and yet I felt separated from my truth. I felt so compromised that I couldn’t even write, sculpt, speak or draw my own truth.

I discovered that there was no space or place for an ordinary and poor person to make art within a wealthy society because one has to achieve an economic status to survive. And so it was that through my adventures I uncovered this problem within, I found myself stuck in a reality which I felt was controlling my life. An actuality that’s possibly a symptom that many people will be aware of through the compromise society imposes upon us, but as an artist you feel it very directly through the process of open expression.

I still remember that unbearable feeling of being held by this invisible force which could only be broken by expressing what I felt was the truth. I know that this may sound a bit precious but as an artist it was compromising my expressions and making my life feel worthless. Because if I as an artist felt unable to express a candid truth I wondered about where in society the confrontation of truth may take place.

There is good news for me because the optimism which stains my soul always prevails in the end, and I did find my way back to authenticity. Now when I write an entry in my blog I write what I feel without fear or expectation, something which I still have to carry forward into my art. My art being an area of my life which I abandoned a year ago in order to resolve my direction.

As an artist I feel I’ve returned to ground zero and am almost ready to begin again, though I really don’t know what will happen. So much has changed in my approach to life and my ability to see through the facade of society feels more intense. However my soulful purpose feels as it always has which is in part a dismissal of society and the social issues which disconnect me from my core humanity.

So as an artist I may just continue to focus on the miraculous mystery of being, of life without logic or rational explanation. A life making art which flies in the face of the current art trends of contextual, conceptual and social commentary. Art which is not about societal art within the western canon of tradition, but art which is about a focus of expression from the whole of the soul. The undiluted expression as an attempt to connect beyond contrived narrative.

Thanks for looking 🙂

The Impossibility of Everything

I recall a conversation I had with a friend whilst driving in the south of England a few years ago in which he said this moment is like an impossibility. Sitting here together driving, talking and taking life for granted within the context of space, time and infinite possibility. An ordinary actuality that depended on everything ever happening before (the way it did), a moment just part of the ongoing moments which in turn impact the future. We both felt that the possibility of circumstance is almost impossible as a mathematical probability, yet an inevitability of existence. Every moment of life a special and precious gift, bound in this contradiction of magic and inevitability.

As a human being it’s possible to take ones predicament for granted, yet our individual existence is manifest from a trillions to one probability, which I believe makes each and every life miraculous and special. Every moment in our existence special just because it occurred against the odds of it ever occurring. This complex construction of a living breathing entity with a beating heart is a complete mystery and yet more often than not we take this for granted and live lives bound and influenced by the social pressures imposed by society.

This beautiful magic of existential life is so amazing that I believe it deserves exploration in the purest of ways. Or at least a pause and a moment of recognition and reflection to realise what actually occurs to allow us to experience the present, the right here and the right now. As in a life stripped bare to the point of confronting existence and the search for a true connection to source. This is where I feel that art has a major role to play in society, because it is where we humans can express ourselves without formal language or concepts. We can just make marks as intuitive gestures, expressions from the soul and from whatever connects us to existence. Expression as an open gesture without the imposition of order, logic or rational interference. expression which allows us to see within and beyond conscious imposition.

As an artist I want to feel my connection, which is why I feel compelled to rebel against the taming of the spirit. And also to rebel against the order of society which tries to separate me from the truth of my existence and the importance of being. My hope is that by following a desperate desire for understanding, it will allow me to further understand existence through the singularity of a connected soul, going beyond the distraction of society. To just glimpse as far as my sensory perception will allow and then a little bit more so that I may understand beyond the obvious and feel what it is to be.

Sometimes I look at computer generated images of the solar vortex we inhabit, followed by images of our galaxy and then finally of the cosmic web and I do this in the hope of understanding the circumstance of our existence. Then I think about the limitation of human sensory perception and wonder how it could be possible to understand the complexity of everything with such a simple way of seeing. It does make me profoundly aware of my limitations and how closed my mind is to the possibilities beyond what I think I know. Then I wonder about Dr Seuss and his book “Horton Hears a Who” and I wonder if our world is a microscopic part of something so big that we are incapable of seeing it.

I must admit that seeing the truth of the world as a microscopic part of something bigger helps me to cope with the concept of infinity. And it does this because it allows me to think on a different scale that goes beyond the logic of human perception. Simply because what I take as absolute, may just be entirely wrong and that what I need to be able to see or understand is something so unexpected that I must not take anything for granted.

In this context of time and space my knowledge really amounts to zero but within me as within all of us there is an absolute connection to the source of life and existence. So what if the truth is in there as an intuitive knowledge that we are born with. Accessible through the expressions and marks we make as beings, a possibility which would make art fundamentally important to civilization.

What we are dealing with as conscious organic life forms is massive, huge concepts and notions, becoming ever more complicated as assumed knowledge increases. Perhaps it’s down to the inherent infinity which may exist in every aspect of being, to the point where we really can’t grasp on to anything with certainty. Something which society in its generalisation and dumbing down of existence doesn’t help with. But I also realise that in my thinking I’m imposing my limited perceptions on a vastness which can’t be harnessed by the workings of my mind.

But whatever the answers are to these huge questions, we can look at our own lives within our circumstance and really comprehend the “impossibility of everything” in what at times may seem a mundane and ordinary life. At least then we can appreciate the amazing beauty of existence, the waking up on a morning to yet another special day in the company of fellow strangers. Living together in so-called civilization without really understanding our predicament of what we are, how we got here and whether or not there is a purpose.

In the making of art, or even contemplating the making of art, one is forced to think about the meaning of life. Of course there is no singular answer,  though just maybe there is a feeling that something feels right for the moment. However we evolve and develop and ask further questions, sometimes we get it right and sometimes we fail, and we learn and move on. But as with all human pursuits there is no right or wrong, good or bad within the realms of human expression, that is untill we apply judgements.  Judgements which often become shared and established as part of societal sensibility and imposed as values.

So you forget the judgements and do what you do, if it feels right you’re heading in the right direction. If it don’t feel right then you keep on looking and trying till you find your way.

Have a beautiful day and thanks for looking 🙂



My Own Little Soul


Sometimes there is a stillness on a Sunday morning here in Britain, a result of all those years of social conditioning. But ignoring all the reasons for why Sunday is so, I often find a space and place within this stillness to reflect on where I am in life. And today I feel a greater sense of inner peace which is pretty much due to the years of riding through my own storms in a search for meaning, purpose and understanding.

Sometimes life feels like it’s divided into segments such as days, weeks, years or even decades, but today it feels like a weekly division. And as I reflect on my week I feel aware of thoughts and conversations which left me with a certain feeling about where I am now in my life. Not only am I finally understanding the value of socialization, but also the individual freedoms to think and exist. Though it’s in the exploration of the individual freedoms where I really come alive.

As a practicing artist I’ve always felt challenged to take that one step beyond of where I am right now, which has always meant that my pillars of existence have always been temporary and a bit shaky. But as the years have passed I’ve grown accustomed to this insecurity, an insecurity that has in fact become my only security. That in truly not knowing anything I can always reach out and grasp uncertainty. I will admit to periods of life where I really did feel that I’d found answers, but I was always able to pull the rug from under my own feet.

However this week (just another week in my transient state) I have felt a little closer to understanding my plight and the challenges I face going forward (if life is indeed that linear) as an artist. And this feeling I have is all about human freedom away from institution and tradition. How life can be a focus on ones own reality and defined by whatever one feels, because we don’t have to be told how to exist or feel bound to conform to expectations. We can theoretically be citizens of the world unbound from the metaphorical boundaries of social oppression. We don’t have to fit within a system to lead a validated existence.

So when I bring my thinking back within the realms of art I realise that art is anything I wish it to be and the same goes for anyone else. That art is about the freedom of human expression and can neither be good or bad, relevant or irrelevant unless you impose a specific criteria upon it. And yes societies do impose a specific criteria upon human expression which is why artists are forced to challenge this and rebel all the way through.

Just sometimes, like this week for instance, I have these moments of clarity where it all seems so simple and I know I can move forward along the lines of my thinking. Experience has taught me that these periods are always the still before the storm as I get set to move forward and try to turn my thoughts into expressions.


Thanks for looking and have a great week 🙂

The Art of Fluidifying Identity

#Tooty Two Too


I find it hard to keep track of linear timelines so when I say I started blogging about seven years ago it is with a bit of give and take. Anyway I’d felt troubled and unable to express myself, perhaps it was the years of solitude and lifes stinky pressures, but whatever it was, the it had made me feel locked in. As an artist I felt unable to express myself with any meaning or purpose, wrestling with the strength to be honest and candid. So I blogged, did social media and real life stuff too, messing about with art, writing and any form of expression I could play with. I just wanted to feel free to express myself in an honest and fearless way, so that I could offer something of value as an artist.


I didn’t think it would take so long to find my way but it did,  seven years (I think), firstly there was the painful deconstruction and then the rebuilding from the wreckage and finally a year to reflect, out and away from art. It’s funny life, because often you just amble along blissfully unaware of who and what you are because everything feels alright. But then when it all goes wrong and you try to resolve your despair, it’s a whole new game which can be profoundly complex. The truth is that the whole experience exposed deep flaws within my approach to life which effected my approach to art and social interaction. I’d become closed and defensive from the years of being judged as an artist and I just needed to walk away from myself and who I’d become.


During this time I’ve found the whole process of blogging very cathartic and empowering on a few levels. Firstly I found a way of articulating thoughts and then by finding the courage to share my thoughts I felt able to state anything I wished, this in turn helped my art because I felt able to share and explore any ideas with a reduced level of fear. Now my art had no rules to follow and it didn’t matter if people liked it or not, because I was finding the courage to openly express myself once again. Art was becoming an open expression for me, without the need for a space, place or recognition, it didn’t even have to exist. I knew my art was neither good or bad because I realised that such judgements are based purely on subjective criteria.


The struggle which I’ve gone through has really opened my eyes and allowed me to see how within my society I had become institutionalised by the convention of institution and establishment protocols. I felt I had to learn to see the world through my own eyes and to decipher my own interpretation and take on life. And it was highlighted through my struggle to justify my own work to myself after it was rejected formally wherever I offered it within the art world. Here I was able to see that the freedom of art is compromised by the movers and shakers of the art world and furthermore it highlighted the whole categorisation of art within society as nothing more than an invented human made concept. In turn I became aware that society is often led and governed by past precedents that often fail under scrutiny yet we follow them without questioning. Moreover I saw art within society as an area which has become corrupted by the rich as they playfully buy and sell it in the public domain, using it for purposes beyond the respectful sharing of human expression.


I really don’t want to appear negative in my writing and sharing of thoughts because I’ve always looked for positives even in the darkest of places. And this whole adventure of mine or life as its formally known is about exploring freedom and understanding existence through human expression. However it can become really complex and compromised by the circumstance and formalities of society. The thing is that I can’t help but see art as an open language of human expression and communication, bound only by the limitation of the mind and senses. And it’s in this invitation to explore freedom that you feel your wings have been clipped by the formal conditioning which society imposes upon people in order to establish control and order.


The good news for me is that I think I understand my predicament now and that I’m psychologically strong enough to explore the possibilities without the need for any reward or validation. I also feel capable of exploring more extraordinary ideas without the need to justify it to myself as being relevant to anything, because there really are no boxes to tick. After all art is really quite anarchistic, an open exploration of the great abyss, using whatever materials or methods are available. I do have a lot of work to do and ground to cover but with art you always feel at the beginning with an eternal “begin again” mentality. And that is the attraction of art, hope optimism and discovery, it’s just like a big playground for the imagination and senses to explore.


On a more pragmatic note I’m aware that through my work I will also have to make a living and just maybe that will ground me and keep me centred as I move along. But whatever happens along the road I feel prepared to embrace change with a more fluid approach. Even my identity feels more fluid now as a result of my soul-searching, which is also a reflection of the time in which we live.


Art really is about ecstasy and despair, highs and lows and the great contrasts which create dissonance and tension from which creativity emerges. And as an artist ones life becomes subjected to this torment as you tear yourself apart in the life-long search for inspiration. It can never be easy and if it is, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough. And yet for all the effort you pour into your art there’s only ever a brief moments of satisfaction with the odd good work because when you’ve finished something, it falls into the past as you have to move forward. Moving forward with the blank canvas or bag of clay (or empty space), which needs that inspiration to fill, form and shape, trapped in the begin again cycle.

Thanks for reading and have a great day. 🙂



Eine lose Sammlung zur Dokumentation meiner Werke und Gedanken

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the art of art associations

zara-moon arthur

a place to show and share my artwork, past and present