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Reflecting on a Year of Change

November 9, 2012

Life has a habit of knocking us all in to shape no matter what you do, the pressures come stealthily from all directions and are hard to combat. Even though I have never really had a job and have existed on the margins of society I have still been subjected to all these pressures. You really notice it when you create things because you can’t hide from yourself, you know why you make it and all the driving forces that motivate you. It is an interesting adventure, a journey of self discovery that poses many questions and is laced with traps. It can be a lonely place as you wrestle with ideas and concepts that only you believe in and your strength of character is constantly tested. There are failures and disappointments too with only yourself to blame you just have to pick yourself up and carry on. My life has been laced with knocks and hard times but for some reason I have always had an irrepressible spirit and belief that has kept me going and having got this far I‘m seeing it through. On a personal level the death of my sisters and the circumstances have caused me to struggle greatly but have also taught me about balance, while I strive for beauty I realise there is great ugliness too and this has to feature in my output of work if it is to be an honest reflection of my life.
This last year has been pivotal in the development of my work, I have seen through so much of the art world bullshit that I no longer have any of the vain ambitions that held back my creativity. In fact over the last two years I have woken up to my own feelings and so many small every day interactions and conversations have resonated so deeply that I had to make significant changes. I realised I had been blown off course and was some way adrift I guess things have a habit of creeping up on you like that, but once you’ve identified it you can change it. I now feel back on track and Im fuelled by my mistakes and struggles to push my work as far as possible, there are a few people out there that believe in what I do and I appreciate that support greatly because it’s difficult for an artist to exist without support.
Embracing technology to expose my art to the virtual world has also had a big impact on my work, by breaking the feeling of isolation, if galleries refused to show examples of my work (and they did) I had no where to show them and that was both frustrating and totally de-motivating, it leads to the treadmill of more of the same please year after year.
So where does that leave me right now?  as always, on the cusp of an exiting adventure, destination unknown. 🙂

3 Comments
  1. annerose permalink

    I’m interested to see what you will be making next, it was certainly s exciting to see all that work. Dealing with the art gallery scene is often depressing but if one way doesn’t work some other way usually does.
    PS your drawings are also fantastic!

    Like

    • Thanks, I really needed this year to shake things up and create the space to move on, I had worked to a standstill and was somewhat lost but now the passion is back and I now feel I am making my art for the right reasons. It was the trying to please other people and the insecurities of wanting to be accepted that was getting in the way of my process.
      Thanks Again Eoghan 🙂

      Like

      • annerose permalink

        I hate those times when art-making is at a standstill. I think it’s a necessary but very uncomfortable part of the process. And I agree it’s better when art is not made mainly to please others. (Although I do love it when people like, or even better, want to buy, my art… 🙂 )
        All the best
        Annerose

        Like

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