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Battle Scars

February 28, 2013

scar face

There is a lack of harmony in my existence that always tears at the integrity of my equilibrium and I don’t know if this is good or bad.It is my instinct to fight for a balanced life but reality challenges this in so many ways, at the centre I try to remain calm and rationalise it all. But some days I feel submerged in the violent sea of life where all the scars and wounds lay open & bare and the struggle seems insurmountable and futile. I guess you have to have these days where doubt and insecurity rise to the fore as you once again brace yourself for the challenges that lay ahead. Art after all is about challenging and being different and you have to be strong to face up to the harsh reality where your sensitivity is exposed and compromised. I often feel a strong sense of anger and it is an essential part of my make up because you have to fight for the right and belief to express yourself, without it I’m sure I would capitulate into mediocrity. You take a hell of a lot of knocks in life and I like to stand up to them these days and confront them if neccessary. Often anger is looked at in a negative way as almost a harmful trait but I really can’t see that, for me it puts the fire in my belly and keeps me moving on with passion and fire.
At the heart of a creative being lies a passion and commitment that is all-consuming a soul laid bare to the beauty of life, entranced by a sense of wonderment and open exploration. To others they may appear to be naive (which many are on the mean streets level) and are often misunderstood and this is where the harsh reality strikes, the transitions of purity of thought into the harsh reality of a society that operates on quite an abstract level with money at the centre. So you have to be tough to fight for your ideas and beliefs with conviction or you just become down trodden and the artist in you is laid to waste. Every day I am reminded of the fight to survive as an artist as I try to weave the compromises into my existence and sometimes it’s pretty unbearable as I don’t even get the time to think, but fortunately for me these frustrations just fuel my determination. 🙂

Internal scars

endless

NO4

NO6

artyfuckTARGET 🙂

3 Comments
  1. ophelia permalink

    I think, although we can improve our responses to our surroundings, we never overcome our shadow, we just learn to live with it in a kind of watchful peace.

    Like

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