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Reflecting on Reflections

April 21, 2013

no24

 

I wrote this last December whilst out having a coffee in a shopping centre and coming across it again reminded me of how life’s a journey with no absolutes and how in a given moment of reflection we see ourselves. I had a few hours to play with so I bought a sketch pad and just wrote and drew, now five months later after typing this out I’m aware how I feel further along the road which serves to emphasise the flexibility we all have through our evolving lives. I think in some ways I’d been stuck in a groove and felt trapped but not anymore because through the process of my art and writing I was able to make the adjustments that I needed. And discovered the problem is all inside your head, because it’s how you react to the world and your circumstances, eventually you just have to stand up on your own two feet and rise to the challenge, casting off the detritus that weighs heavily upon your shoulders. Maybe by looking at life as a work in progress with no definitive answers is the way forward for me.

 no23

So this is what I wrote:

“There’s nothing like a blank page or empty space to inspire one to create something to fill the void. I guess I sometimes long for that feeling of emptiness just for the buzz and excitement of creating something new.

Creativity requires a level of resourcefulness, innovation and soul searching which unravels one, gradually revealing a greater level of truth from within. Without creativity my life is empty and I feel adrift yearning for something that I cannot define.

For a long time I have felt trapped in a sea of chaos, bombarded and pressurised into actions of increasing irrelevance and I can’t play in this game or pretend to anymore. As an artist you have a responsibility to explore and share your findings with the world. Few will understand it fully, many will have little if any interest but that doesn’t matter, all that does is that you touch a few and remind them about an aspect of life or even gently encourage others to take steps into the unknown.

Right now I have found a place but I had to go AWOL to get there and right now my place is one of respect a celebration of being. I now know I don’t want fame recognition or financial reward, for these are Trojans of entrapment and suffocation. The vanity and ego in modern society that is so admired is often total folly yet we are all seduced by it and led into the kingdom of Narcissus. Currently my creative freedom lies in the sharing of my work, I don’t fear judgment as much as I used to and I am able to create and expose it instantly and if I’m lucky get a bit of feedback. In a small way I feel I’m making a difference, in my own world it’s a big difference, a revolution really and the beginning of something meaningful.

I have often written about my whole life being immersed in art, my father’s an artist I even life modelled at Edinburgh college of art aged five, in short I live breathe and love art so much that I was unable to dedicate my life to destroying my creative soul for a meagre ration of coins.

As I relaxed into the big lap of society and accepted my fate in the rat race I only had myself to blame, I’m just glad that I was able to step out, take the reins and become my own thought leader, proud of who I am and moving in the right direction. If I had one goal I think it would be about the acquisition of greater wisdom after all our great gift is consciousness so why ignore its potential.”

no25

In a busy life I find difficult to find the solitude where I can connect with myself but through the process of free writing alongside my drawing and sculpture I’m finally getting to a place where I feel more complete.

2 Comments
  1. Nancy Newberg permalink

    Finding ourselves takes a very long time,knowing ourselves takes longer…follow your heart down the trail barefoot so you can feel , look at the sky so you can think, touch the earth be a true part of yourself , embrace what you find even if you have to leave some of it behind 🙂

    Like

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