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I make what I feel and I feel what I make.

May 12, 2013

curious hybridCurious Hybrid:

When I draw or write I do it in quite a raw way because it’s a process of thought as opposed to a product. It’s really my way of developing my thoughts, notions and ideas into a coherent form or structure so that I can then assimilate them into my art.

Mad March HareMad March Hare

In contrast my sculptures are resolved and absolute where every detail is considered through all the processes, but  making sculpture on its own becomes a singular process that doesn’t satisfy all my needs for expression which is why I’m becoming a hybrid artist as opposed to a sculptor.


Through words drawings and sculpture I have finally found a balance that satisfies all my needs as an artist and I can’t tell you how much that means to me, but to have the means and courage to express all I need is becoming sacrosanct. Wether I choose to refine my writing and drawing is a big question because I really like the vulnerability of being human, I’m not perfect (by any means) so why pretend to be and by revealing my humanity and flaws I  become liberated and the fear of failure no longer holds me in its grasp.


As an artist you are always judged (if you are lucky enough to stimulate sufficient interest) and we all find ways of dealing with the consequences, it’s not easy and you often just have to take it on the chin in my own life I often disassociate myself from controversial content as a mechanism to deflect judgment and that is something that I need to change. Standing full square behind your work means you truly believe in what you are doing. 😉

Angry Cat1I know how to feel anger!

So I move on intact, I make what I feel and I feel what I make. And I don’t say that lightly when I say I feel it, I always have, it’s a feeling that runs through to the core of my being that can even contort me physically. It’s hard to explain because it’s of an empathic nature that runs deep and one of my first memories of feeling it was when I sculpted birds and I almost felt how it would be to have wings instead of arms and exist as a bird, an experience that still resonates within me some twenty years later. And while this may sound a bit trite I feel it highlights part of the energy and feeling you imbue in your work and why when you draw and sculpt there is always an extra ingredient of vitality that comes from sincere commitment. There is another artist I know in the virtual world and when I see her work I get the very same feeling and I know how she feels her work and how it comes from such a genuinely deep place. Work like this has a vulnerability that is special (as you are laid bare) but great strength too because you need great courage and belief to express yourself in this way but through the honesty you witness a truly special ingredient (if you are open) which provides a window into your being. This work is not based on ego, commodity or monetary value because true artistic expression transcends these mere distractions. It’s taken a long time for me to have sufficient clarity in my thinking to articulate my thoughts in a lucid way, but life has forced my hand because my beliefs are too strong to be suppressed by the oppressive forces that exist within the art world.

Somebody forgot to tell me why 'im hereSomebody forgot to tell me why I’m here!

Theres nothing wrong with not fitting in but there is a lot wrong with trying to fit in and that has been one of my greatest lessons in life. That even in the art world which appears liberated and free we are still subjected to heavy doctrinal pressures that shape the lives of artists. Existing outside of the system for so long gives you a unique perspective add to that a rebellious spirit and you can just about survive with a bit of integrity.


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