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Exploring Difference

August 12, 2013

Confronting mortalityConfronting Mortality

I’m going to have to write another entry in my blog just to empty some of my thoughts, Yesterday I was chatting to an academic from Oxford university and I couldn’t shut up, as all my thoughts and ideas were brimming over. I’ve travelled a long way with my thinking of late and reached some resounding conclusions on life and art which I feel so passionate about and when I speak to people who understand, my thoughts just flow freely.

Fire

As an artist I chose a long time ago to live an ordinary life in society, I was unable to get on to a post-graduate course and my solution was to be a real artist in the real world, to stand behind my work and see where that took me. But I was extremely shy and have always struggled to sell myself and my work to the outside world, I hoped my work would be my voice and lead the way, which it has but with a limited reach and a great deal of struggle. Now at fifty I’m extremely proud of my achievements in being quite a successful people’s artist but from here I have to stand up and try to gain a wider audience. I’ve always been quiet and allowed people and life to unfold around me as an observer but of late have become more verbal when people stand on my toes in real life, it’s symbolic of a change in my Psyche. Twice in the last week I’ve confronted people who challenged me and whilst that concerns me a little I realise deep down that all I’m doing is standing my ground and that is so important if I am to take my work forward. I believe that I’ve learned many lessons the hard way and I still have a lot of choices as I move forward but in the harsh reality of life you have to make your own little claim, I’m not aggressively ambitious as a human being though I like to defend who and what I am in a robust manner these days.

a bull25Confrontation

With my work I’m starting to express myself with a more holistic approach and I’m no longer afraid of saying how it is, how I feel about it and how I feel my work is heart-felt and soulful. In fact I often use the word connectivity and that really sums up the whole creative experience for me because through my work I feel a strong connection to life through the heart , mind and soul. To achieve this I have had to learn to ignore the distractions and pressures of everyday life that pull you apart and disseminate your thoughts and focus. Though you can only maintain this focus for so long I dearly hope that I can hold onto  this place inside as I’m forced back into earning my living through the system that I’ve grown to hate.

  1. sacrifice1The Beautiful Sacrifice

I now feel that I’ve arrived somewhere with my life and work, in a way it’s a very different place because it has been quite a unique journey, I’ve addressed many questions that life has thrown at me in my own way but I’m often comforted by the fact that there is much in common with people who followed more protected paths but there is a clear difference in that my freedom from institutions and convention has afforded me a different insight through the structures that govern our lives. In a way that sums up the choice I have with my creative freedom because I am not bound by or into any system which is a pretty good place to be. 😉

One Comment
  1. Nancy Newberg permalink

    Hi Eoghan,
    It is nice to finally come to some realization in our life and it does happen around this time in life, I think its when we have been a tax payer and adult for a good twenty thirty years. Am glad you are speaking through your work and computer, it certainly has broaden many horizons for creative and regular cp users. I was thinking your father perhaps would be a great information highway I hope you and he are able to communicate. I was fortunate to have a father who use to talk to me about business when I was pre teen, and of 5 children I was the only one to become self employed dads have so much to offer us with their wisdom.
    Anyway…….you have a great week, Nancy

    Like

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