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Because Art is Complex

December 3, 2013

anarchy2

There’s a question that’s always loomed heavily over me and that is: Should you just accept your lot in life or should you try to make a difference in any way that you can?
I’ve toyed with different approaches to life but there has always been an underlying principle that I wanted to follow, which is to live my life how I saw fit and not to be shaped by the overwhelming pressures that force people to conform. To maintain my spirit in a sea of pressure from peer groups and society so that I could retain my right to think freely and express myself openly through my art. I always managed to find a level of content within this approach untill recently when for a few reasons I allowed myself to drift into a more mediocre way of being.
In one sense it’s been a constant struggle or battle, I got a lot of support when I was younger because people believed in what I was trying to do but as life has passsed by I know longer have that support and have to walk that path very much alone. It’s a reality brought on through a conscious choice from the options I see available and the only way that I can realise my vision through art. To go down a route of popularity really means chasing reactions and favourable opinions from others which is a strong distraction.

faith


It all seemed so much more simplistic before when I was growing up through the many challenges that sculpting offered me, now it’s complex. Now I don’t just make things for the sake of it because I feel there ought to be a significant reason because I don’t want to make meaningless clutter.
My experience of life has left me with quite an agitated soul at the moment, because through all the mess and transformations I’ve endured, continuing to work as an artist is a profound challenge. If I give in now I’ll really have jumped because I couldn’t get over my greatest personal challenge. But realistically I must have spent the last three years trying to resolve these personal issues and there is no sight of an end or resolution to my conflict about art, society and survival on a material level.
I do know there are no quick fixes to the big questions in life or ways of being because life is not simplistic in any way. The dynamics are complex and you can’t spend your life running from them because they’ll catch up with you in the end. It’s hard to go forward from an unresolved state when there are no real leads that you feel compelled to follow. Sometimes I only feel happy when I’m out running or cycling because when I’m on the move I’ve escaped it all for a brief moment of freedom.
In one sense I have lost all belief in the art world and because of this the applying of art to this context has no significance in my life anymore and crossing this line has been a game changer. It leaves me in the position where I feel like a true outsider which is OK but the sheer level of material struggle threatens certain basic levels of comfort. There’s a limit as to how much rain you should allow through your studio roof, how much cold you should have to endure and how small and cramped space you can work in.

Reach out and touch

 

But on a positive note my work is becoming more profound and creating stronger reactions both favourable and against, hell anything’s better than been totally ignored. Adverse reactions always used to really upset me, but not any more, I make art for a reason and with a point and that is always going to create some discomfort.

boxed in

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