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Reflect and move on into Anti-Art

December 28, 2013

the cherry dream1

 

Year ends mean a lot to me, I can’t help but reflect on my year and while I’ve had a pretty good year in many respects with about a thousand drawings I still feel a level of disappointment. I have expectations that keep driving me but I need to go so much further. Creativity is a concept centred around creating new ideas which means you can’t truly plan or know what lies ahead. All you can do is work with integrity, diligence and a commitment, I guess you can have a vague direction but remembering to be open to lifes experience and what falls in your path is important too.
I really hope that next year I can consolidate a greater level of certainty, but having said that I would settle for a similar growth in my understanding that I have gained this year. To clearly move from how I look at art and life today is vital to continue the journey I started in earnest nearly 30 years ago.
The more existential approach to art has worked well for me this year, with the realisation that this is it, right here and now. You are living it for real and it’s not about hope and aspirations for the future, what you do in the moment is your art which makes the moment defining because it’s all there is.
I have been blinded in the past by so many things all based around ego, things like vanity, ambition, aspiration and a desire for recognition but this year I finally came to accept these values to be a superficial distraction. This has been truly significant in my personal development and paved a way to finding a meaningful reason to produce art. Art that is real to me and with a greater level of purity, it’s removed the element of fear and set me free. Free to explore art and creativity without expectation or fear of judgement. Basically I can do what the hell I like and learn to trust my intuition and impulses and live out my life as a true artist, the one thing that I have always aspired to be. (Yes I still have 1 aspiration lol). So far I’ve only touched on the possibilities that are there for me and hope to go much further on my journey no matter how the struggle torments me. Hell if I can’t feel tortured then theres no point in being an artist

 

let it out

 

I often write here as a way of thinking out aloud, I can be wrong and go off on contradictory tangents but thoughts are important and make up the building blocks of art which result in the development of concepts. Over the last year my thinking has resulted in a much clearer vision of what I feel art is and a more resolved and insightful understanding is taking shape.

Arty


I’ve started to read a book on contemporary art from a slightly analytical standpoint, paying attention to the vocabulary and contextual referencing. I feel that I need to break down the myths sold to us through the language used and also to the layered references to see if they really are relevant to human expression in the contemporary world. What concerns me is that art has become reactionary to art and obvious political matters leaving aside many important issues of the human condition.
My gut feeling is that my approach and belief in art and human creativity is virtually opposite to the current trending, but I need to qualify my beliefs with some research and greater understanding of the bigger picture. Knowledge is great and the more I can aquire the richer my life will be but I also love the challenge of deconstructing flawed concepts using a logical approach. I often hear people that are very critical of what their instinct tells them is bullshit and how they feel anything can be justified as art (perhaps apart from genuine art). So as a lifer in the art game my next personal challenge is to demistify the myths I’ve been indoctrinated with for the past thirty years. The interesting thing is that I may discover that I’ve been totally wrong with my judgement and instinct and that I may have to make great adjustments.

illuminating my darkness1


Through my own experience of the last couple of years, my perception of reality has changed greatly through the denial of as many escapist pacifiers as possible, so that I could just experience what it is to be as a person living in contemporary society without the bombardments of the mass media. It’s quite a shock when you don’t watch films or tv or the news and sport and switch off the radio too, because your life changes and you become aware of yourself in a different way. I prefer it because it feels less burdened and more real, you start to make choices based on your own judgements and the dreams sold to us continually through advertising dwindle away and all the fears imposed on us through the media evaporate.

I'll take my Bike


I digressed a little however this last year has taught me a lot about life in a more fundamental way which relates to art and creativity and I hope to be able to use this insight into exploring art and cutting to the chase. I feel the devil is in the detail with contemporary art theory and to look at it from a dispassionate outsiders perspective will be of great interest and also give me the focus to develop my own way forward.

Still Standing


Perhaps it’s a weakness but I really need to feel that my life has a crumb of relevance, that I understand the world I live in and am able to contribute something that is meaningfull. I can’t do it through my work alone because the world I live in requires a level of theoretical justification. It’s also a basic human duty to express yourself if you really feel you need to and you don’t have to be famous in the eyes of the world to do it. The fame culture we live in is bullshit anyway and based on suspect principles around vanity, ego, money, power and too seldom is it based on the value of true values.

 

sweet

 

my head is in a spin

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