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Fuck the system, I’ll do it my way

December 31, 2013

whatever the odds

My last two years have been characterised by a significant change in my outlook as an artist, its felt like an awakening as I embraced my circumstances and the creative opportunities available to me. I no longer feel like the burdened sculptor weighed down with the sheer volume of repetitive reproduction of sculpture. A man half closed down and oppressed by the commercial pressures of an insensitive society, robbed of the joy of living, hell no. Now in sharp contrast I feel alive and vibrant, set free at last, to explore my life through art, without the petty limitations that held me back. Now I think twice about even calling myself a sculptor because I feel that I’ve transformed into a contemporary artist, with  a chance to shine once again through my work. All that I’m doing is releasing what I have to offer on a creative level and using a new-found freedom to express myself openly without fear. But the significant difference is that I’m not held back by shallow goals because this time my art is for real, I’m not chasing anything beyond the realisation of my vision as an artist. I’m not scratting around looking for anyone else to validate, finance, promote or interfere in any way with my work, as I have in the past a great cost to my integrity and dignity. The new compromise is really only one of scale and a reality that most of my work will exist in a more virtual context, but hell just to have the opportunity to realise my potential in any way is an awesome prospect and makes my life feel significant. I now just look forward to finding ways of expressing how I feel about being alive in the world, my reality (or perception of it) and experiences, the feeling of who and what I am and what life is all about. How I relate to other people and fit in or not, but most importantly to try to keep my work underpinned by how I feel deep inside, by developing a greater understanding of what I have always felt is the greatest gift I have, consciousness. To have arrived at the place where I am now is the result of living a life and reacting to the realities it brought home to bear, to me every experience is significant to our own journeys because it defines who we are and there are choices to be made, you can be caught in a flow at times but you can also jump out and break free. Ultimately in life I reached a point where I felt my destiny was in my own hands and I had to jump no matter what the cost because the reality and truth of my life could only be defined through an open artistic expression, free from the triviality of a polite societal offering. Art can offer so much wisdom to the world because it allows us to look at ourselves and the world from new perspectives, helping us confront our fears and allowing us to see deeper inside, but as an artist you also have to fight for that freedom because it doesn’t sit comfortably in our engineered life style.

the Gazillion Dollar question

So what is my reality?

My role as an artist in society is complicated, because as an artist I’m under a considerable pressure not to create freely. I’m instead forced into chasing money and complying with the protocols of business, even though I feel that art is not about business. For years I felt trapped to such an extent that my love of art and freedom to create were all but destroyed as I tried to survive on the proceeds of my art. It led to a great compromise and halted my ability to create freely, because a value needed to be placed on all that I made. I always felt that art was different and that a healthy society would support artists and in turn they would add value to the cultural enrichment of society, but it’s simply not the case. The reality is that art has become compromised and stitched into the fabric of capitalism  and a system based very much on a simple hierarchical notion. Leaving artists such as myself to survive in the margins. I personally hate the systems in place and all that I do and achieve is in spite of all the barriers and obstacles it puts in my path.

Bring it on
As an artist you are left to fend for yourself and your values can become a little unconventional as you search for ideas deep within.
Earlier whilst out running I was trying to work out  a correlation between art and money, but I couldn’t find a genuine one that really made any great sense. It again made me think about the whole concept of money and how absurd it is, because it just isn’t real, yet it’s become our God. We are expected to live our whole lives chasing money and in many ways we are defined by our ability to grab hold of it. The reality of money is that it’s just becoming a number on a computer and yet the whole world revolves around absurd economics. I know it’s just a token of value but it’s how that token is used that defines us, our insecurities, greed, lust for power or conversely a total disinterest.

contemptorary art

I’ve always refused to buy into a life driven by a desire for wealth generation and ironically I’ve paid a heavy price for it

Untitled - 7

Hell, I’ll end the year on a more mellow note 🙂

There are times as an artist when you feel deeply touched and inspired in ways that are difficult to explain or reason. But when you work and struggle in what at times can be quite challenging conditions, you make break throughs and your understanding leaps forward. At the moment I feel that I’m finding a way forward again and I keep getting that tingling sensation and goose bumps running through my whole body. It’s like everything feels like it’s heading in a good direction and I feel touched by something unknown that feels like a reassuring inspiration. It happened with my piece soul~fields and I can feel it happening again as I stumble on a whole new area or concept to explore. Whatever the inspiration is, it just feels uplifting and allows me to move forward with greater purpose and belief, there is so much more to life if you make the space to be open and receptive.

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