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Dropping out to Drop in

January 14, 2014


Funny how life goes 🙂  when one of my kids asked me yesterday what’s it like being a grown up, I thought, boy your testing me out with a big questions here. All I could say is that no one can prepare you, your life will unfold and you will be at the wheel, I can give you guidelines but you’ll make your own discoveries. Though I let him know how wonderful I think life is, the funny thing is, I wish I still had the fresh approach my kids have to life, with the open mind and the connectedness, a gift that soon becomes ironed out in modern society
I know my life bares no resemblance to my expectations from childhood, in many ways it’s opened up beyond my expectations, but it’s been a struggle. A struggle to find a way to live as an artist and more importantly a struggle to see through all the distractions and find a way of expressing myself. I feel closer than ever now, to being able to express myself from within, which in itself is totally simplistic, but I felt I had to climb a mountain to get here. There was just so much baggage in my life holding me back, preventing me from being in the moment, free to work without prejudice. Having taken the leap by making significant changes I now feel almost free to move on with my new-found direction, I don’t expect it to be easy because I feel significant ideas are born out of struggle, but that effort is worth it when you truly believe in what you are doing.
I find it hard to explain my current approach in a simplistic way (but I will try), it’s merely trying to connect with the inner truth of being, having untangled it from the complex trappings of socialization, indoctrination and controlled thinking that society imposes on us. Emptying the trash and meaningless rubbish accrued over a lifetime and cutting to the chase, in total stillness asking the question, who am I? When you feel you know who you are in stillness you can simply make what you actually feel is an expression from deep within. It was my work and a feeling of total dissatisfaction that brought me here in a most convoluted way, I had no idea what I was looking for untill I found a level of inner peace, by becoming at one with myself.
So I’ve become a boring git, I don’t drink, watch tv or films, I no longer follow sport or the news, I just draw, think, write and make sculpture and I’ve found that is quite enough for me, oh and I mess around a bit like a child too, because from that relaxed freedom, crazy ideas appear and new thoughts 🙂


Being One


broken dream



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