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Just the way I see it

March 9, 2014

the way

 

My recent period of reflection and searching for a way forward has been the most important phase of my life in art and was vital in order to find a way forward. A way forward that is mindful of my lessons in life and a clear step into the territory that I believe I should occupy with my art. It’s a holistic approach with a complex referencing to all my knowledge, a level of existing in the present and an eye on future possibilities. I feel that an approach that is open, allows the influence of feel and intuition, with a openess that allows space for the possibilities of a deeper spiritual connection. So its complicated and always will be, because my work and concerns are not based on shallow notions, but notions of great respect for the sanctity of life. In my search I’ve become more aware of the balance between an intellectual approach and a spiritual approach and I feel these need to work together in the conception of robust concepts. Because an over emphasis on either of these approaches can lead into a diluted expression that is prone to a greater level of whim or dogma. Again whim is an area that is of great interest to me and whilst I enjoy travelling so far on a whim I do feel a need to contextualize them to myself.
An area that I haven’t felt the need to address is the narrative in my work, there never was one and I don’t feel there ever will, because I see my art as a catalyst for thought and reaction, not a dictatorial lesson based on my own assumptions. I often make reference to my lack of knowledge based on all the questions that I ask, they lead to more questions to which there are no answers. To assume great knowledge and absolute beliefs is something that I feel is great folly and so I choose not to say it like it is with a bombastic universality based on assumption.
Yesterday I reflected on how my connections in the art world never really encouraged me to be different or free with my art, instead they encouraged tokenistic gestures of difference. Now as I look back I see it as being groomed into a system of conformity with many invisible barriers that held me as a loyal servant to sculptures made within the Eoghan Bridge style. In this sense I became a prisoner to a style, and much of it was self-imposed through implied pressures. I blame no one for this experience, but I do condemn the system that in seeking to control, inhibits freedom of expression and places great pressure on the integrity and honesty of art. My experiences have left me feeling totally alienated from the art world and I now even question the integrity of art with a level of cynicism, because I feel art is constantly hijacked and used for other purposes by societies elite. In one sense I no longer feel like an artist because by being one I’m labelled with pre conceived notions and expectations under the umbrella of the “art world”.
Sometimes it feels like a big game, with so many people vying for attention, it’s competitive, people get precious about ideas and fear being copied, because of ego and greed. So instead of art being expansive and forward-looking with the sharing of ideas it becomes locked into the small-minded pursuit of individuals looking for adoration. In this respect art is reflecting the futility of capitalism and short-sighted greed. So as an artist living today I feel greatly compromised by the reality of the world that I have to exist within, but I still have choices and they are tough ones based on following notions that fly in the face of current expectations. But as I often say I need to lead a life that is at least meaningful for me, so I follow what I believe is right in an attempt to define art as something that I truly believe in, as a noble and profound human endeavour. Life is so not about rules and compliance that shape our very beings into linear pursuits and yet we are prisoners to them in every aspect of being. Barriers are restrictive and controlling and in trying to express yourself you can’t help but feel these suffocating restraints as you try to expand your horizons. I have felt the metaphorical clipping of my wings throughout my whole adult life and at times felt there must be something wrong with me though I knew in my heart that all I ever wanted was to feel free. Now I will feel free, at least in my own art, because over the last four years my search has led me to a great feeling of conviction in my approach to life and art, and it’s a very deep conviction that has cast light on my own inhibitions and fears. So for all my torment and personal anguish, there is a great reward and it’s a feeling of emancipation, that will at last allow me to fly in the direction of my choice.
So I like to see myself not as an artist, but just a plain and ordinary human being that feels a desire to mark out my life with a few gestures of visual expression. I have few expectations beyond the satisfaction of my own creativity now and can live and work without the bullshit and meaninglessness that has taunted me for so many years and finally start to enjoy my life again and feel at one with myself. I have not felt at one with myself for quite a few years now and this was very much the root of my dissatisfaction with life, at times it felt like despair because extracting myself from so much that was engrained in me, felt impossible. Now I hope to rewarded even further through a satisfaction in my work and just enjoy a life without the feeling of an overwhelming burden and the dark dark clouds of oppression. I may growl a bit more these days but that’s because I have something to protect

lovely life1

 

2 Comments
  1. Willy van Veen permalink

    You’re my inspiration ,it’s amazing it’s so beautiful and funny 😉 when do you make a book full drawing’s??? Then I buy someone. Thanks for all your drawing’s. I love it 😉 .

    Like

    • Thank you Willy, I appreciate your very kind comments, because all I really want from my art is to inspire others, I don’t know if I will ever generate enough interest to get a book printed, so for now I will just work and enjoy my creativity 🙂

      Like

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