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Finding Authenticity through my Art

May 17, 2014

217I feel closer now than at any other stage of my life to being the authentic artist that I have always aspired to be, it’s been a rocky road and all I ever had to go on was a faint notion of creativity without compromise. It is still by no means an easy task and ultimately it was learning not to give a damn about what anyone thinks of me or my work. In the past the external influence of opinions slowly ate into my resolve and undermined my belief,  corrupting my thinking as I looked for acknowledgement and recognition and a means to survive of the fruits of my work. It was like being fracked as the flood gates opened and I became distracted from my true purpose as an artist.

FUCK IT LISTNow I realise at the centre of my work I need great strength, something which I believe is the true gift that I have received from the troubled life that I have led, both circumstantial and through my own questionable decision-making. But whatever has happened I was always able to turn the negative into positives, which incidentally is how I model my sculpture (with a focus on positive forms). But it was using all my experience that is empowering me into finding a way of believing in art and also myself.

190In some ways I feel that I have become quite isolated and feel like  my domain is a solitary island, but that suits me because  from this base I actually feel like I’m really starting to know who I am and what I’m capable of. I know what to avoid and for the moment, I seek nothing beyond my own creativity though I will consider possibilities that arise, which obviously fits in to the open search of the artists quest. At the moment I feel that the knowledge I seek lays within the  soul of my being or the core of my humanity, because the understanding of self through the connection of mind, soul, body and earth really defines who I am.

aaaaaaaI also know what I’m not, I’m not interested in money gathering or  status in society, and though like everyone else I have an ego, I do try to keep it pruned. What I do know is that I’m an artist in search of truth and authenticity, so that my life is a validation of my core beliefs. I also feel that my only hope of inner peace and satisfaction lies in my integrity and that my life lessons that have led me to where I am now have truly taught me what I needed to know in order to have the robust self-discipline to see it through. I don’t believe there will be an easy way forward, because art is not an easy option and I’m not looking for a quick fix anyway. For now I hope to continue to feel and experience life with my current level of intensity and express it through the open dialogue which is my work.254

There are no protocols or established patterns that I wish to follow in my approach and whilst my disappointment with the establishment is total, it has handed me my most precious gift, the freedom to create what the hell I like. Art without fear of judgement, art without a home, art because that is what I choose to do, open to anyone who takes an interest, art made without any expectations.

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The authenticity of art starts with a brutal honesty from within, an admission to self of just who and what you are, no lies or bullshit, no rose-tinted spectacles. You break yourself down expose as much as you can take then you start to make the marks that define what you have to offer through your art, and that is where I am now and from this place I can at last see what it is that I want to express about life, what it is to be strong yet frail and cast into an uncertainty where the complexity unfolds. It is art that I want to make for no reason beyond my own satisfaction and to celebrate and explore what I find so special about living.  I can’t express how relieved I am when I make these steps forward and get within touching distance of my dreams that make total sense out of my unconventional life.

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One Comment
  1. Linda permalink

    Love this. Like you just came up for air for the third time and there’s the shore, not five feet in front of you.

    Like

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