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Keeping it Real

July 10, 2014

metamorph

I’ve worked very hard on all aspects of my work for a few years now and I’ve also exercised hard to keep fit and strong so that I could go that extra distance, which I believe I have. This process has involved a greater level of honesty with myself, by admitting and confronting who and what I am in a more brutal and forensic manner, so that I could fulfill my lifes work with more meaningful gestures. But it has been complicated and the baggage I carried was immense and almost impossible to shift, my personal circumstances don’t help and it is essentially a solitary process which requires great strength and fortitude in all aspects of being, but I’m determined to live the life that I believe in and to maintain my unconventional stance. At the moment I’m deeply tired from the exertion and lack of sleep, but I’m coping well with this down time and under the surface ideas are bubbling away and my belief is strong.

It is a shame in one sense that the journey is of such a solitary nature, though I can’t see any other way of achieving my artistic vision with external influences, so I will keep in the margins and forge ahead with the work I believe in. Human nature is complex and interactions are often a trade-off because we all have our expectations and desires and for an artist this often creates a serious dilemma. It is really through the lack of success that I have received for my work which woke me up and forced me to analyse human behaviour on a much deeper level. I’ve always been interested in the psychology of human behaviour but I never realised how far I would have to go to understand the relationships that occur when you offer your art to the world. Art provokes reactions and often forces people to really show themselves which can be really hard to deal with because of the sheer diversity, but as a provocateur you must accept and deal with it. I’m guilty of hiding behind my work and seeking reactions, both intentionally and inadvertently and I have to realise that the reactions often stem from a similar premise, but the relationships are curious.

I feel that all these observations help enlighten me further and nurture the understanding of  life that is the most vital ingredient to my work, which is now heavily influenced by interactions through the composition of multiple elements and the ambiguities of  the connective relationships of  objects. At the moment I’m able to combine all my possibilities and express them through sculpture to a level that I never thought possible and my understanding of life has been significantly enhanced by the questions that my art has raised. In one sense I’m playing catch up with my intuitive approach to art, I make the sculpture then I try to understand what it is saying and question why I felt driven to make it, it is utterly fascinating and mysterious at the same time.

To me my art is real and new, it is my invention and I follow my approach through the beliefs and ideas that life has brought me, I’m not part of a system and never have been, I feel free to make what I please and I believe whole heartedly in myself in the singularity of my own existence. I can’t make people like my work or even find it interesting, no, all I can do is what I do now and make what I feel is exciting, real and vibrant, sculpture that exposes the truth of my reality. Having said that I am always very pleased when people engage with what I do and understand what I put into my work. But it must never be forgotten that artists like me have to battle for a lifetime against all the odds to realise their vision often with displays of strength that act as a shield to defend the tender sensitivity that art requires. I took my fair share of knocks for thirty years before I had the courage and strength to truly stand up, brush away my fear and express myself with total freedom. I chose to work alone from the start without the protection of  the herd, this exposed me to the stark reality of ordinary society and with that I had to take the diversity of reactions from extreme piss taking to the total disbelief, but within these parameters I also received some genuine respect and support. However all this experience kept me grounded and allowed me to understand the reality of ordinary life without protection and with nowhere to hide, this life is real and so is my art. But it takes a cast iron will to spend your life swimming against a tide and a depth of determination that is astounding me, after all I could stop making art tomorrow get a job and lead a comfortable life, but there is something inside me called belief. ❤

devotion

2 Comments
  1. I love that you let your sculpture manifest instead of setting out with a fixed idea. By letting our art tell us what it wants to be we’re able to draw up depths of feeling that are ineffable.

    Like

    • Thanks, and you’ve introduced me to a new word “ineffable” 🙂 . I find it hard to let go of the rational and logical approach but when I do it opens up so many possibilities 🙂

      Like

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