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Only Time Will Tell

July 31, 2014

A Few Faves

I had a conversation yesterday with a friend which unlocked an interesting reflective interpretation of my life’s journey. My Poet friend has a an extremely high level of consciousness and an amazing knowledge and understanding of the spiritual nature of being and though he is grounded I believe his journey started on a more celestial level. That is in contrast to this dirty sculptor who started in the mud and clay building a life and acquiring knowledge through the manipulation of earths material and minerals, a ground up approach to the raising of consciousness. Later when I reflected on the conversation I became aware that our meeting and conversation was a cross over and that his words and gestures were able to shine a light on the path to the skies and beyond through his knowledge of  cosmological phenomenon and I hoped that my knowledge of the earth reciprocated his gesture with a demonstration of my earthly knowledge. Though it was not about a formal exchange but a sharing of experience and a surprising understanding of the commonality of human journeys through different spectrums.

On the level of human consciousness I believe knowledge  is  about sensory understanding and  not science,  a hypothesis based on sensory observations and feelings that we interpret to the depths that we allow through how open and receptive we choose to be. In one sense we are like plants fed by the earth and the sun, inextricably linked to the terrestrial and the celestial, both of which allow our existence yet we struggle to connect with the essence of our being and struggle to understand the nature of our very life. I feel the  answers don’t lie in science and the presumptive knowledge of the finite hypothesis, but in the engagement of our conscious awareness and that brings me back to the creative act as an exploration and interpretation of being, the magical force that is life and often taken for granted without the respect it deserves. Out of the infinite possibility there lies a simplicity to life, the organic reality and cyclical nature of all that is around us. But the possibility of our humanity often serves to distract our lives from the simplistic journey of awakening and understanding our fundamental reasons for being, caught up  in a tidal wave of stuff in which we are blinded through vanity, ego and greed.

Equestrian Tumblers

It is my belief that Art is about creativity, it is not a beauty pageant or competition, it’s not about elevating individuals through pretentious notions of grandeur, it’s not about showing off and masking the insecurities of misguided lives or adorning the elite with trophies. To have a notion of  hierarchy within the art world is the complete antithesis of the essence of creativity and does no service to the collective nature and inclusivity of the great gift. I would say that the distraction of  false ambition and restrictive practice through compliance and convention inhibits art and sacrifices great human possibility as art is channelled through the rigid constraints of  the linear thinking  guardians of convention.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

But back to my  conversation and how it allowed me to see my work from a whole new perspective. I had always wondered why I felt a need to make the riders on my equestrian sculptures look up towards the stars, it always felt right at a certain stage and I thought I understood, but yesterday I realised it was a subconscious intent and an intuitive need to elevate myself from my heavily grounded approach to art. That I needed to experience the spiritual and lift myself on to a different plane in order to find my level of being. My sculptures were in fact speaking to me and showing me the direction that I needed to take to move forward. Through my upbringing and raw approach to life as a man I struggled to accept the spiritual aspect of being in my conscious mind though it was there and speaking through my sculpture I refused to acknowledge it openly. eventually I would include birds on the figures as a way of exploring greater heights through a third-party and all through this period I would also make the connected sculptures of the solitary figure deeply connected through the horse that would elevate me in order to experiment above the ground. Through the equine composition I found ways to explore the explosive nature of my masculinity and power as my youth was lived out through the expressions of my art. More recently my work has gone through further metamorphic stages after a more dramatic deconstruction, I was able to finally lift my sculptures off the ground in a celebration of freedom from the constraints that had held me down. It felt like my greatest triumph as an artist where I finally stepped over the barrier and broke my chains of bondage. I had finally overcome the inhibitions of my conditioning, cast off my burdens and was free. My spirit was free and now I could explore all I wanted in life and art, for me it is the deepest awakening among the many I have experienced and I feel it through my entire being.

horse rider eagle

It felt like there was a heavy price to pay for my latest breakthrough, I had to come to terms with so much baggage that was crushing my soul, the sheer pressure of a life in art surviving in adversity and against the odds had worn me down to a heap on the ground. It is hard to be different and maintain your integrity when you have no support, when all you have is a notion of belief and your experience is one of a deep sense of isolation. But through instinct I knew that I had to stand up alone and find the courage to believe in myself again. To get things in perspective and find a way to produce art and a reason to produce it beyond shallow gratification, to produce art of substance, even if that substance is only pertinent to my own existence. It feels good to look back now and understand that there was a real purpose to my art and a real voyage of discovery on a personal level that brought me to a profound place and gave me a deeper understanding of my existence and a purpose. I am no pretender I make art for a reason but that reason is not one of convenience, it is a reason that underpins my life and encompasses the entirety of my ability and experience, yet I have to try to apply it into the world and trade it for a modest fee so  that I can exist on a practical level. I know that everything I write and say is relative to my lifes experience and that I can only gauge its relevance to others through a few conversations, but I feel part of something that is real and vibrant which is life affirming for me.

battersea4

There is no right way round

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