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My 400th Blog

September 11, 2014

I think that I’ve been blogging for about three years and was hoping to retire from this habit, but I enjoy the format of writing and pictures. So I will hang in here for a little while longer before disappearing and returning to writing in my sketch books. My computer is on its last legs so maybe my retreat will be forced upon me sooner than I think, last week I had to drill a hole through my laptop so that I could bolt the broken case together. 🙂

I  made an effort to embrace the internet a few years ago, it has taught me a lot but it’s also repelled me. I don’t like the virtual rat race and the shameless commercialisation of everything, because my art is an ideological pursuit and finding a platform to showcase my work has been problematical. Having written this I will say that WordPress has been most suited to this purpose. I felt that I needed to explore the internet, though I eventually found that it is not the home for my work and ideas. However I feel that it has allowed me to see life from another perspective and taught me about the soulful satisfaction of being comfortable within. I now realise that I have nothing to prove to the world and that my future development is a personal choice, from which I choose to find my own reason to lead a fulfilling life. My inner peace is now returning along with my self belief and I can build on this in the obscurity of solitude.

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I never read back over my blog, which is a good job because if I did I would probably delete the whole thing. However in the moment of writing, it feels good to explore my thoughts in connection to my life and work, enabling me to articulate and understand the creative process. My attitude has always been one of defiance, never accepting what is an expectation, instead I like using my own life to explore so that I can reach my own conclusions and be who I feel I am. I’ve never really read or cluttered my mind with too much excess baggage because I always felt it impinged on my own quest and the filling of the blank canvas that I was born with. We are all unique and to be able to explore our difference is an interesting way of life and what makes me tick. This is why I so enjoy my own company and existing in my own reality where I experience a greater feeling of freedom. I love originality and it is our gift, but so often it is masked by our attempts to conform when really we should be proud of our uniqueness and be encouraged to explore it. As an artist one is groomed into the traditions and expectations which compromise the freedoms of art, but if you can weather the storm and learn the craft without compromising your integrity, there is a chance to expand on the uniqueness within. It can be a lonely path but when you start to uncover your originality  it’s a truly fascinating experience, others may not understand, but in time you learn that the true rewards are substantial and can be felt deep within. The vanity of ego and societal status pale into insignificance as the ideas take on a life of their own and expand beyond your horizons. I believe we are capable of so much if we believe and have the dedication and discipline to explore our possibility. Being a bit of an outsider, I sometimes look at society and I see so many opportunities lost, people divide their lives into work and leisure and the overwhelming pressures deny the dexterity of our potential. Sitting in front of screens with a prescribed content of mind numbing fodder, is no more than a manufactured reality that should be constantly questioned. I have done my time with the screens and watched so much rubbish, enough to know how it affected me and neutralised my capabilities and curiosity, but for some reasons I periodically awaken to the danger and manage to reject it, though I’m lucky in the respect that I have my art in which I can focus my energies.

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❤ ❤ ❤

To all those who have taken the time to read and look at my blogs I would like to say a big thanks xxx

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