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The relentless pressures of Art

October 8, 2014

 

moonlight

Just recently, I’ve been a bit under the weather and I have to admit to feeling totally shattered, I’ve put everything into my work and although I’ve found a solution, it’s not an easy one. Here lies the issue that committed artists face, a constant grinding challenge with little let up and no time for complacency, I don’t even have the energy to make a new drawing, so instead I’m reworking some old ones to keep myself active. But I must say that I can take days off once again, because my belief is strong and I no longer fear the despondent complacency that crept up on me a few years ago.

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So with no simple solutions, I’m satisfied that to gain something from my existence, it must always be a struggle and the rewards will be through a contentment and varying degrees of satisfaction through the feelings of personal growth. It is the personal growth facilitated by my artistic endeavours that gives me the greatest feelings of satisfaction and the acquisition of empirical wisdom, earned through the studio endeavours. Even though the wisdom highlights my lack of wisdom and understanding of being.  I continually get caught up in the dichotomous polarities that seem to be at the heart of all that I do, the endless questions without a single answer or solution. With my art I’m exploring more and more options and my clarity of thought is returning to many issues, because I’m able to make decisions through an increased understanding. (Though this may sound confusing, an artist has to live out their own life with their own rules and decide what to make for reasons that they think they believe in, which is complicated).

Essentially as an artist I’m struggling to survive because of my defiant stance, I have chosen integrity over compromise and assumed that the true value of art is of its creative sincerity. Yes I’ve stepped out of line because I saw art becoming trivialized through the arts industry and felt the danger of becoming homogenized into meaninglessness, as a paid up member of the aspiring hierarchy. At least I’m working and creatively my mind is attuned to a creative exploration that far exceeds my previous levels, which is fantastic, even though my material needs are clipping my wings and fuelling minor levels of frustration. As an artist you can’t do everything, so organising exhibitions, publicity and all that stuff is beyond me, so for now I just make work and hope opportunities arise. Maybe six months down the line I may want to show some new work and that might drive me to acquire new skills, so that I can take my art into the world. Though judging by my past record I would say I’m more likely going  to be enjoying the hermit lifestyle in my studio. 🙂

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Through my own work I’m looking for levels of originality and that is not easy because of how we are conditioned into limited ways of seeing and my challenge of late has been the broadening of my aesthetic sensibility. Pushing the compositional boundaries to new levels, levels that I would have at one stage found unacceptable and this is something I do in a practical way by juxtaposing  the sculptures that surround me in my studio. For me this is art in action and the gift to the artist who has the ability and courage to make all their own work, for it is here that the true knowledge and understanding is honed into a practicable language of communication. Sincere art growing organically through a lifetime of dedication and the result is that I have something to offer the world, something I have worked hard for, yet all I can do is offer it through gesture. If my work remains trapped in my studio it really makes no difference to my life beyond my material worth, how I feel about who I am and what I’ve achieved is sacredly mine. My mother told me that in life you are essentially alone and she told me not to let anyone tread on my dreams, from this I take great comfort because this is our sacred gift, our existence and our reason. I defend my dreams like a warrior and feel great comfort in the singularity of my own existence,  I enjoy company and I also enjoy solitude.

Of late I’ve made great changes but life is always quite messy and the rolling out of new work is still a problem in the chaos of my reality. I have the vision, I have some drawings, I even have some theoretical explanation, however producing the volume of work to fulfill my potential is all but impossible. However this will be my challenge that I will relish and soon I will continue that desperate struggle to overcome the adversity and obstacles of daily life.

 

No85

❤ ❤ ❤

Bye for now beautiful people 🙂

 

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