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Whispers in a Silent World

October 13, 2014

butterflies

My life is starting to feel a little existential as I write draw and sculpt more in the moment than ever before, I have no great plans but I do have aims. Aims to get my work out into the world and seen by a few more people and aims to achieve a greater depth of self realisation. My openness is receptive to the whispers and chats of every day life, whispers that I choose to accept as a guiding force in my life, because while I take full responsibility for my creative work, applying it into the real world is where I need guidance. The objective opinions of friends and acquaintances offer valuable insights into future possibilities and their interpretations allow me to see a possible direction.

reflective elevation

Having written that, I’ve been a little reclusive for a while, it was a deliberate step I took to help establish a greater sense of autonomy, because I needed to establish my artistic identity with greater certainty and clarity. I needed to face the stark reality of my own worth and discover exactly what I have to offer as an artist and to question in the cold light of day if I have enough to offer. I did this because I need self belief and courage, something that I can only get from personal achievements through my work. In company, the distractions subvert my direction, with my desire to please others and the novelty of interactions distract me immensely.

Holding On

Of late I have discovered that my authentic artists voice comes from an internal dialogue or communication, the realisation of who what and why I chose the purity of art to speak to the world. This is also a very delicate area and prone to corruption from human frailty and weakness because having something to say and a way of communicating it, is extremely tenuous and may not even stand up to the pressures brought down to bear on it by society. So under the constant pressures, holding on to what is most precious is not an easy task,  it involves a great strength of defence in tandem with a sensitive and delicate process of creativity. You see life is just so full of ridiculous contradictions, polarities and dichotomies that making sense of anything can be quite a challenge. Patterns repeat on many levels and the microcosm of our own life and feelings are often reflected in wider society, for example, in the name of global progress whole cultures and profound wisdom is extinguished because of an inherent inability to defend integrity against global trends. Much is lost to such tyranny and there is often no balance in these situations, it feels like nothing that can be done when the stark choice is obliteration or compliance. So standing up with a truly different outlook is bold and quite a challenge when there’s always a ticket to walk down easy street and pick up some skadooshi dollars. As an artist hope springs eternal and even now in my own life after years of disappointment my spirit of rebellion is strong and I still believe that there are options left to explore. I feel this because it’s my birth right I was born free, my life is mine for the exploration of my reality and I’ve chosen to live with the hopes and dreams that have always been my companions. To live within the framework of collective rules in a nanny state, feels like incarceration, born free into a life of imprisonment, which is not complementary to artistic freedom.

contrast

As an artist I have no need to chase after false contexts to validate my work, I have no good reason to refer to the work of other artists and I have no reason to wedge myself into a convenient art world niche, or historical lineage, because this is all about compliance and control. But as an artist I do have a duty to define my own aesthetic and produce original work that I believe in on an extremely deep level and here it is incumbent upon artists to take those extra steps so that they untangle themselves from the cynical and dogmatic approaches that are often encouraged by the establishment. I speak with experience here and the false perceptions that I once possessed about my own creative freedoms, a perception that came crashing down after a period of reflection. Reflection that was forced on me from the profound level of disappointment in an art world that had effectively clipped my wings and compromised my existence. So now I nurture my aesthetic diversity, look deep within and produce the work that I feel is right, regardless of outcome, because only I know when my work feels right. If a drawing feels right I know its ok and the same with my sculpture, because I work things untill they feel special and magical to me. I also know when my work fails or is sub-standard and I see this failure as vital to my process, because failure can often teach me more than success.

masquerade

With everything I make there is a gentle enquiry, an attempt to resolve issues on every level of my endeavour, it can be seen as conceptual or as part of a continual journey into my unknown. But my approach feels right and I feel confident about my current challenge of redefining soul~fields into a comprehensive statement. I have a lot to say from my lifes experience and the techniques to express it, something that I can be proud of and a foundation from where I can flourish. I have earned my artistic freedom the hard way, which has given me the choice to fulfill my potential and the anger and frustration I feel only goes to motivate my determination.

132

I feel so motivated and alive that sometimes I have to leave my studio in despair at the avalanche of ideas that flow through my mind. Earlier today I had to walk out and quickly sketch some ideas, so that I could ease the pressure and stop the torment of the ever-increasing archive of ideas that flow so freely. It is such a strange process in many ways and persistence usually pays off, because when you follow your absolute truth it can be like mining and finding a rich stream of gold. And it’s all there inside because it is you, waiting to be discovered just by being brave, a celebration of a unique perception through self realisation, the unexpected liberation of an artist. A place where everything becomes one and art flows without restriction because you live in the moment of your own life. Finally capable of realising dreams, because you have fought your way and faced down the challenges and come through against all the odds. Unrecognised and living in poverty, but with a deep contentment, values intact and an understanding that you couldn’t have achieved it any other way.

❤ ❤ ❤

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