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My complex creative conundrum

October 26, 2014

No84

I find the intensity of  being an artists extremely complex, there are so many strands, strands that are both linear and lateral, which turn decision-making into an infinitely complex equation. Driven by passion and an impulse to create the whole process becomes a fusion of the logical rational mind battling with the intuitive spiritual impulse, but there is no constant or formula for a freely creative mind. And by delving deeply into the process you become aware that there is very little that you can take for granted and that absolute decision-making relies on subjective judgement, as there is never one solution to a problem. So by breaking free of our conditioning, we become free to develop our own sensibilities on aesthetics, on subject matter and all other assumed perceptions of being. Freeing me up to make decisions with a sense of autonomy and freedom. Simplistically it can be seen in how we assume our morality and posture ourselves within society, how we perceive ourselves and how we want others to perceive us. Because we don’t just exist and our decision-making results in consequences, yet we are held by the peer group pressure of expectations. As an artist I feel it is an incumbent upon me to take full responsibility for my direction and decision-making process, even in the face of resistance such as in my own life where the institutions decline my offerings. And so I continue to pursue what I believe is my path of wisdom in full belief that I am a credible artist with a lot to offer and with something that is worth sharing with the world. The fact that my work is often rejected by people whom I believe have lesser minds than my own is just part of the rhythm of lifes vibrating perceptions, but my truth is that I have no alternative but to fulfill a powerful drive to resolve a complex  creative conundrum.

This process is so complicated that I find it almost impossible to articulate with words, but it is my intention to explain the fundamental actuality of my creative process, why I make art and how I make art. Something which I take for granted but have untill now never managed to describe in a convincing way, not even through my own thoughts. It is also about the personal human choice we all take that may or may not have a universal commonality and in that respect it can only be the opinion of one. All my views, all I ever write or create is from my humble opinion and nothing more, even though it feels like an overwhelming truth. I can say that there are times when I’m overwhelmed by the enormity and sheer possibility of art, when I know that I’m incapable of exploring my possibilities because of the sheer lateral enormity of possible outcomes and solutions to a statement of expression. In these cases I have to accept what appears to be the most favourable outcome in which to invest my energies.

Because I’m not a writer I find it hard to structure my writing beyond it being a natural flow of thoughts, I will struggle with this little essay, as it addresses the fundamental cause of my effect. I’ve already established in my blog why I became an artist and to recap that, it was because through art I found a meaningful vocation that awoke something inside of me, it boosted my self-esteem and motivated  me on a deeper level than anything else ever had. This was at the age of sixteen and my instinct held me under the spell of the amazing possibility of art, so this was the start. I knew that I could live my life and realise an original existence through art, there were no rules and possibilities are everywhere, the more unconventional my approach, the more I could discover. But it took courage to live a life where I made my own rules and set my own parameters and it meant that I would be a social outcast or just slightly different. But I was willing to step out into my own approach to life and art because I knew I could find a deep level of satisfaction that would outweight the rewards of a conventional existence.

Sketching

The reality of my life has been extremely challenging, because I’m just a regular ordinary guy on the surface, but beneath my exterior I’ve always had my art, usually hidden away. I always made enough money to survive through the sales of my sculpture and various commissions and I only started to share my work and thoughts on the social media a few years ago. I guess I needed to really establish my art first and reach a level where I could share it openly with a robust sense of self belief. To have shouted about my work would have been wrong because I was not truly established and had not made all the connections which are now making me whole, with respect to my art. Now my outlook and my understanding of art has evolved into a deeply personal and profound level which I’m extremely proud of, though I know my journey is far from complete and my achievements to date count for nothing with regards to tomorrow.

So through my art I have grown in confidence, a hard-earned confidence that cannot be taken away and it has been facilitated by establishing the technical ability which gave me the freedom to produce whatever I chose to create. Though here again this process is complex because the development of technique is done in tandem with an evolving aesthetic understanding as well as all the other developmental factors of growth. Here the acquisition of technique feeds back into the conceptual roots of creativity and this symbiotic synchronicity generates the fluidity of an evolving organic development. And this is key to my art, it is a whole process of connectivity and not the simplistic approach of coming up with an absolute ideas and delegating manufacture. This means that my art is intimate and a part of me that is felt deeply and arrived at through a complete immersion, authentic art from the depths of my being, reflecting every aspect of my character and thoughts. As I produce work now I no longer have to define or understand my output because my art is a part of me that I’m proud of, I have nothing to prove to any other soul though I happily share all the work I make. The fact that much of my work is a mystery to me is an important factor with my work because an important part of art is exploring the great mystery of life.

I now believe that art is not so much a celebration of certainty but an exploration of the unknown, because to deal with certainty through the exploitation of static concepts and overtly implied content, imposes limitation and feeds into the convenience of the current systems. Though having written this I realise that there are times when the significance of a concept requires an extended period of development and that times of stasis and reflection are all part of the process. At this current point in history the west is facing changes that have been enforced upon us through the consequences of a life style that it many ways is disconnected. Disconnected through the bounties of capitalism, luxury cars, vaccinations, wined, dined and entertained, at the expense of a detachment from our spiritual roots. A world of convenience lacking the profound recognition of consciousness that leaves us floating in a contrived reality, almost protected from consequence. Where it is possible to live out your life without awakening beyond the bland superficiality of  a contrived existence, pacified into societal conformity, held firmly within the rules of convention.

I believe I’ve moved neatly to explaining about the content of my work, which in my own life comes from being immersed into the reality of society and all it has to offer, even though this is flirting with the danger of being consumed by  the system. But to be relevant you must feel the vibe of your time and understand it, to feel the combined consciousness of humanity is how you learn to feel about the directions that we are taking. Intuition based on living in truth and this isn’t about living in a community of artists, but just ordinary cohabitees of the planet, because we are all a part of the collective consciousness of a living planet. It is my personal belief that through art you become more attuned and connected to human consciousness which often feels like it gives you a vision towards future movements and shifts in human endeavour. Whilst these are thoughts and feelings remain a complete mystery, they carry a huge influence within my work, sometimes I impose it upon my work and at other times it just appears through my conscious flow.

But most importantly my art is no longer art about other art and no longer art for the art world, because my art is about my reality and the expression of my humanity. An expression of truth about what I feel and understand of life, my reaction to the experience of existence and the hopes and fears engendered as a consequence. To celebrate the beautiful gift of life and the consequences of our complexity in the dynamic theatre of life, through art is a great honour and a privilege. My life is blessed through having such a true meaning, which is why I have the utmost respect for art and believe it to be a true voice.

kick Ass

I feel I got a little nearer to explaining my approach to art but I still have quite a bit left to clarify 🙂

❤ ❤ ❤

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