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Life is Truly Beautiful

November 10, 2014

The big small stepThe step I took

If I felt physically well I would be feeling euphoric at the moment , but the truth is that the extraordinary lengths I have had to take to get close to realising my life long dream have left me feeling quite exhausted both physically and mentally. Having said that I’m still in a good place, but I will have to rest a bit more and eat more healthily to revive me from this deep fatigue. The truth is it all got a bit too serious, but I simply had no choice but to push myself to the limit so that I could see just what I have inside and I’ve even made up for the few years of inertia. There is a shocking lesson at the heart of my position and I’m sure this is the case for many other artists who feel that they have something to offer the world, but are refused a platform upon which to express themselves. I have worked as an artist for thirty years now, shown my work all over the world and I have been offered no support beyond a financial reward for the sale of my small domestic sculptures. No encouragement or moral support, but plenty of knocks as my work was used as a stick to punish me if I strayed into areas of great artistic interest.

occupy1My Anonymity

Over the past few years I have even approached publishers, curators, city galleries and even sculpture foundations, both on regional and national levels and the only reply was a rejection from a small regional publisher. It became apparent that I am anonymous and easily dismissed by those that are unable to understand my definition of art. At first this really hurt me because the feeling of complete rejection flew in the face of my absolute belief in my ability as an artist and made me question myself to a point of near destruction. Though somehow my self belief remained even if in tatters, however I couldn’t deny the originality of some of my work and believe that it was not worthy of a modicum of recognition. I think that the support of ordinary people (like me) has always kept me going and at times has been all that I could carry as a validation. Over the past few years I have had a tremendous amount of support from the virtual world and received some messages that have lifted my spirits and really encouraged me to plough ahead with belief. For this I would like to express my sincere gratitude and heart felt thanks.

Think sitterMy Broken Dreams

Now finally I have found my voice, which I articulate through my words, drawings and sculpture and I understand what art actually means to me, but what a fight and against all the odds I really feel that I have finally made it. Of course I’m reduced into poverty, but all of this struggle has given me great courage and strength, because I have survived and I feel my art is improving greatly, at least now I know who I am and why I make art. The truth is that I can only gauge success in how I feel about my myself and my art, which is independent of the reaction it receives in the wider world. I’ve now stopped writing to people and applying for any commissions because it had become a mere distraction, filling my life with false hopes and disappointment,when all I need is to work alone on my art. To work on what I believe in as my sole expression of being, however I would never have willingly chose this option, but I take it as a gift from my experience. I can walk tall in my ragged trousers and hold my head up high because I’ve weathered the storm and come out at the other side. Life is a truly beautiful experience in all it has to offer and I just hope that I can continue to approach it with such joy and optimism.

butterfliesMy Exploding Metamorphosis

This journey has taught me a lot, it’s trimmed my ego and shown me the values that lie outside of societal structures and I have shared my journey here for the past three years because I believe that it is the duty of an artist to openly share all that they have to offer. Despite the hardship it is a privilege to be an artist and a great honour, it is a gift that should be respected if it is going to offer a true value to society. But my greatest gift from the hardship is that it has finally set me free, I no longer crave fame, fortune or recognition because I understand that freedom is priceless and I have earned it the hard way. So now I can focus on my work beholden to no other, with just the sacred responsibility of being an artist searching for truths. Right now I am living out my dream and my work has travelled far beyond my expectations giving me a sneaky look into the great mystery of our existence. I believe that I still have a long way to go in order to fulfill the opportunities that the adversity of my life is offering me.

One 1Rebuilding my World

❤ ❤ ❤

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One Comment
  1. I think you’re right, being able to make the art that you want to make is indeed a huge privilege. And who cares about money, as long as you have enough to eat and a roof over your head, you’re ok. All the best and may you and all us other artists continue to do our job, making the art that we want to make.

    Liked by 1 person

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