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I can see clearly, well nearly :)

November 18, 2014

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I’m fascinated by the psychology that influences our behaviour, on the surface it appears to be quite simplistic, yet it becomes infinitely complex in practice, as we live shrouded by the complex noise of distraction and possibility.

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At this moment in history I can feel the disconnection that results from the sophistication of our living standards which leaves us feeling out of touch with our simple reality. The reality of being a living mystery without knowing or having a reason beyond the limited parameters of societal imposition. One take on the human condition is that we have a herding instinct in which we feel a need to belong so that we can find comfort in the security of the herd through leadership, to have a place or role within the hierarchy. In these times of advanced capitalism where religion is fading away in the west there is a vacuum for our spiritual needs which is not really compensated for by the excesses and greed of aspirational living. So we humans need role models to look up to, heroes and idols, models of perfection to furnish our aspirations with  possibility and give us a direction or meaning. In general we are manipulated and led through quite cynical ploys and the more vulnerable and disempowered we are the better, so in our current crisis of identity and disconnection we are a soft target for the will of the establishment and the global corporations. What’s more we are grateful for the feeling of belonging that we are gifted through the shopping mall, the social media and the cinema, our places of community and worship. I think we humans often operate through collective gestures protected by the mass and so this is how we can be so easily led. And the American model of capitalism is just another empire builder, following in the footsteps of all the others, controlling the world through an amazingly transparent strategy, a system so sophisticated in its crudity that it grows and polices itself through the economic and ideological logic that underpins it. The amazing thing is that it’s all an illusion, we feel free, yet we are not and when you try to live freely the system holds you in bondage through a crude form of accountability. For me capitalism is beautiful and poetic in its ability to appear totally benign, but in practice I find it oppressive and destructive and I feel it corrupts the thought processes placing the wrong values on human existence. Yes it tries to take care of us all as consumers and it furnishes our needs with the global generalities and experiences such as, sport, movies, art, and technology, but to do this it needs us to be relatively disconnected in order to create demand. For me it is the biggest and most beautifully transparent trojan horse in human history and yes I can feel free to write and expend all my rebellious energy, because everything I do enters the great abyss unnoticed. I should also mention fear and the need for enemies in order to make us comply and carry out our patriotic duties, causes which are seamlessly promoted through the news media outlets.

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As an artist I stand out exposed because my search for expression from within exposes a different reality which undermines my indoctrination and conditioning, even though I was always pretty much alone in my thoughts, rejecting the behavioural patterns of group psychology from a young age. Funnily enough even though I have avoided a conventional life, I did find myself entangled in the overriding all encompassing dogmas of our time. As an artist I observe, I don’t seek to change the world in any way, but I do seek to change myself as I explore and question the conditions of my life  in the search for a meaning to my lifes work. My whole life has led me to this place where I need to define art as a fundamental truth, I don’t seek to produce art that complies or fits into the confines of any structure, time or institution. It is both a simple and a complex ambition, simple because my truth is something fundamental that I was born with, yet my reality is the result of a complex life, conditioned, indoctrinated and confused, which has led me away from my instincts. I did feel brow beaten by society and it has taken these past three years to liberate myself from this and whilst I’m still a little lost I know that I am finding a way towards resolving my life long search.

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My reality is that I produce art for deeply philosophical reasons and there is a lot more to it than pretty pictures, which is why I struggle with the commercial environment, also my search is one of independence which is why I have never sought sanctuary within academic institutions. And it is this dichotomy that often complicates my world, because of the conflict in fundamental values that pull me apart. So without sanctuary or any real support, I must live this strange life in a stark isolation, following an inherent belief that may never convince any others. But we have this life and a certain amount of choice and I have always believed in nurturing the spark within, because I feel the world is a better place when people have the courage to follow their dreams. I will always be grateful to my mother who shone that light for me and I can only hope that she would have been proud of my unyielding tenacity in my pursuit of meaningful art.

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Please be beautiful inside ❤

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❤ ❤ ❤

2 Comments
  1. I do like your drawings.

    Liked by 1 person

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