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Happy Fucking Christmas

December 23, 2014

117

My life is proceeding at least and I now realise that my life long endeavour has a point that will be realised through my art. I’m not a well read man and my approach to art is somewhat eccentric, though it is both honest and authentic. I have always wanted to live my life for myself and construct my own experiential vocabulary, through the experience of relative innocence. So that I can react in a way that I see fit, it is an interesting approach and one that has served me well. I’ve attained high levels of technical ability and preserved my open mind to a point where I feel that I have an abundance of originality in my work. I believe that this directly correlates to the protection of self from the conditioning through my formative years,  the years in which I rebelled against all that was imposed on me, which caused a lot of problems for me and my parents 🙂 .

126

With everything I do I really teach myself, such as drawing and writing and all the technical aspects of sculpture. I invent my own rules and I break my own rules because art is too complicated to be tethered. All of my approach leads to the development of my individuality, but this however creates a massive problem, because I still have to fit within the framework of society, something that I can only just manage. The pressure on me at times is overwhelming and I get caught between two worlds, but I’m congenial and polite and somehow always manage to get by.

125

The last few years have without a doubt been my most challenging as I fought to extract myself from becoming absorbed into the system which is constructed with different values to my own. It felt like my last stand and if I was to resuscitate my art and get my life back on track I really needed to do ten years worth of artistic development in three years. Even three years was pushing it as I ran out of money and faced a level of penury beyond any previous levels. Now I have crossed the bridge and more than compensated for my developmental stagnation, taking my work beyond any level that I had previously imagined. But it was only out of sheer desperation that I was able to unlock my creative potential and originality.

114

On a human level My feelings of self-worth have returned, but my life experience has left me feeling bruised and battered and tested my perpetual state of optimism to the max. I realise that my euphoria is just mine and that despite all my work and efforts there is no reward beyond the deep satisfaction I get from producing interesting art. The sad truth is that the conventions of society marginalize people like me and I just have to accept it and live an extremely modest life. I also know that there is no other way to live my life than by the way I choose and I am thankful for the experiences which have demonstrated the single truth of an authentic life. I have learned to find satisfaction from my own contentment and feelings of pride from my continual development. In particular that my eccentric approach to life has been justified through the output of interesting work and ideas. I still say fuck the system as I do what I do the way it works for me and if there is no support out there I just find new means by which to express myself.

115

Happy Christmas beautiful people ❤ ❤ ❤

One Comment
  1. Happy Christmas to you as well Eoghan!

    Liked by 1 person

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