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Equally ordinary

January 17, 2015


I feel that my work is layered in its nature and not defined by a specific narrative though it embodies what I feel is a significant philosophical content. This contribution is huge for me, it is after all my lifes work and yet for some reason I have accepted a certain amount of trivialization as I have wrestled with an art world that sought to judge my work on a set of values that are foreign to my own. In a way I wish I could just forget the way art has been channeled, through what is really quite a repressive set of values, but I can’t because I believe there are different solutions. My only solution is to accept a level of dissociation and articulate the conclusions which my experience in art has brought me. My art is my true language which I use to communicate, but it’s no longer enough, because through the confusion of chaos I have lost the clarity with which I once worked. So I write my thoughts down as well and this empowers me as an artist and gives me the focus which I require


It’s hard to know where to start on what my art is about and the truth is that I will have to generalise what is a complex mass of thoughts, which is really what my art is. For my personal approach I need to start with a context which broadly speaking is the absolute mystery of life and the endless questions without conclusive answers. In short who am I, why am I and is there a purpose beyond the obvious demands of society. As an artist I am an outcast, I can visit but not be a part of any true collective and it is from this position that I ask my questions and contemplate my existence. I can see that in one sense my life is meaningless in the scheme of the universe, but I can also see my life as meaningful in terms of being part of the whole. But from my position I will not assume any absolute way of being or seek a conclusion because life is not in my opinion finite. To assume absolutes, I would have to lie to myself and live a life of self-deception, though conversely living with a sense of open truth is extremely complicated and precarious.


So how do I address my thoughts through my creativity? well the answer is really simple,  I use uncertainty as my own absolute. However I do this in a subtle way because I like my work to reflect an accomplished concept, so I pay my respects to the sanctity of human creativity and  add little surprises, however the danger is that the subtlety can lead to an objectification of my work and thinking. Ultimately it is through the careful juxtaposition of objects that I create the tensions which communicate the strongest messages. Now a huge part of my work focuses on my naturally rebellious nature in which I try to question the status quo and in doing so lead the viewer into questioning what is often taken for granted. I do this because it is my nature to question and that is why I’m an artist and this is my purpose or at least what I feel my purpose is and it’s a very serious one. At this time in our history I believe we (in the west) are living in a state of false empowerment, brought on by the affluence of our economic situation. And I say false because I believe it is more a perception that a reality as we are pacified into a more passive and controlled state of being, very much herded into our luxurious pens.

I now see my work as nothing more than a reflection of who I am and all the values I hold. Ultimately if I work hard enough it will become a truth where all the elements including hopes, beliefs, aspirations and fears etc will come together through a combination of impulse, instinct, graft and the conscious  mind. A reflection of my life in space and time and because of this I can not offer any grandiose statements to rock the world, because like everyone else I’m equally ordinary. All I ever wanted to do was express myself through art and this has never changed in spite of all the challenges laid out before me.


Because our lifes are becoming more and more subject to the whims of great corporations we are inflicted with a global generality which in effect diminishes our true human empowerment as we are subordinated to the overwhelming economic pressures. Which is why I believe that people like me have a purpose, to the markers of success in our society I could only be judged as an absolute loser. But to me I’ve flown higher than I ever imagined and produced work beyond what I ever thought I was capable of and I’m proud of that. I’ve survived many storms and feel like a winner, because I have brought a meaning to the meaninglessness I once felt. So in my life I have demonstrated the relevance of a different set of values and way of being which by their nature undermine the sanctity of the economic model by which we all exist and in that sense I feel like a true subversive. I will confess that it puts an awful lot of pressure on me and to be honest I can only just bear it at times, because it’s hard and when the going gets tough, I’ve nowhere to turn.


At this moment in time I feel ok about who I am and what I do, but I know it’s just a brief moment of my journey, even tomorrow I could feel totally different. Because the immersion in creativity leads to a passionate tempestuous temperament, something which feels almost unavoidable when you are driven to such extremes in the search for a meaning and purpose. My agitated soul wakes me up with a slap and forces me to look hard and deep in search of enlightenment so that I may rest briefly from time to time.


The crazy thing is that I absolutely love my life and what I do, I love the sheer intensity and crazy notions as I search for more and more ways to set me free. The sheer joy of producing drawings, sculptures and even writing fills my emptiness with a purpose that no one could ever have taught me. And now having set myself free from the shackles I imposed on myself, I can continue on my way.

❤ ❤ ❤

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