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On being an Arty Phucker

February 8, 2015

Life is mysterious to me and as it unfolds, I’m always surprised at how different experiential living is to what I once imagined it would be, my preconceptions destroyed time and time again. What I feel I know is, that there is a purpose to these feelings, which is an awkward journey into an unknown future.

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This week I’ve concentrated some effort into a more lateral approach to some existing drawings, it is both about exploring ideas further and a search for something new. The process I use is a simplistic software in which I distort my images untill something interesting appears, that’s if I’m lucky. But this week I think that I have come up with some interesting distortions, which when mounted and framed look pretty powerful. I employ different techniques to produce the final drawings and often draw over computer print outs. In one sense I know what I’m looking for, but find it so difficult to actually draw these without this element of chance that I feel is so important to my work.

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Collectively my collection of drawings is becoming like a huge vocabulary of Ideas that I can beef up and explore through sculpture in the near future. It is very much a contemporary approach employing a certain level of technology which reflects the reality of life today, but very much rooted in the raw and timeless creative impulse.
Now often interesting drawings are not exactly what people want to hang on their walls and I blame this on the sanitization of art and the expectations of refined commodities that don’t rock the boat or challenge us too much. But for me the heart of creativity lies in this open search that is full of risk and great uncertainty. I know full well that a series of six drawings that I have made this week will find no place on a gallery wall and will exist unseen in my attic with all my other drawings. Yes I’m frustrated by the arts establishment who care little for authentic art and if I didn’t have such lovely locks of hair I would pull it all out. However as always I will be patient and measured and find a way of organising an exhibiting of my work independently. Art for me is not about selling work and popularity, it is about a communication of thoughts and ideas that I dare to dream should be accessible to all, in a fair society

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When you make art that reflects your own life, it aint always pretty though it can at times be beautiful, however it’s bound to be a mixed platter if your life involves a healthy variety of  experience. Now as an artist it’s all too easy to follow the flattery in an attempt to seduce the viewer into adoring your work, conversely it is difficult to challenge the viewer when they may be disturbed and alienated by your offerings. So we artists have a dilemma, should we filter the work for palatable consumption or should we approach any subject matter without fear of the repercussions, I mean the answer is a no brainer really, but the reality is complex. Because as an artist it is all too easy to be wounded by harsh criticisms and to feel deflated by the petty slurs that are hurled at you, often neatly disguised as humourous banter. It is this pressure that causes many artists to crumble and take the safer options and even those artists who maintain their defiant resolution are forced into levels of compromise.

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Making art requires a level of sensitivity mixed with courage, and in many ways it is a thankless task as time and again you are made to be the whipping boy who serves as a pressure release for those compromised by society. It is a curious position that requires a rebellious nature to keep on fighting and the rewards I guess can be measured by how far your courage takes you in expressing the breadth of your possibility, from the unpalatable to the breathtakingly beautiful. It’s a bit crazy but I still feel quite fearful of exposing certain aspects of my work because I realise that people will judge  me harshly as the author. But why exactly should I feel so fearful? do I really have anything to lose and does it really matter what people think of me, the answer is simple, I have nothing to fear and nothing to lose. Yet I still feel a need to be accepted and embraced by society, not only as a person but also for the work I do as an artist. This whole situation at time imprisons me through my own doubts as I become entrenched in a negative cycle of self-exile, where I feel alone in a futile quest.

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I must admit that through my blog and the countless postings of work on the internet that I have dispelled many of my fears and realised that my fears were bordering on an irrational premise which was all an unfounded assumption. So the act of posting my written thoughts and unresolved art works with the attitude of publish and be damned tested out my resolve and in doing so brought me a new sense of freedom. I’m still a cautious man by nature and have much work to do in uncovering my own possibility, but in life there is always so much to do which is why it’s just so bloody interesting. 🙂

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❤ ❤ ❤

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