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The Solitary Path

February 9, 2015

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The solitary path is the only one I truly know, it seems the only one that leads to the authenticity I’m looking for in order to realise my unique potential. It’s always been this way for me which is why I chose to live such a normal life and not join forces or look to follow the trends and frequent the fashionable places. It’s not been an easy choice although I must say I enjoy the independence and feeling of freedom. The down sides are the relentless struggles and of course obscurity, but these are outweighed by the grounding experience of what feels like an honest life, a life in which principles and ethics rule in what is a philosophical quest with minimal compromise. After all art is a serious vocation and as deep as you want it to be. Contrary to popular belief the whole ego misnomer is a distraction of an art world that has forgotten what art is about, by turning it into a spectacle built on constructed reputations and myth.

If enough people collude to speak and write with great gravitas and authority people will listen and follow and so the agendas can be laid out through the thought leaders and we can all blindly follow.  But I am unable to follow the party line of the arts establishment and it was always this way, because I was bored by people telling me what art was about, when I had my own vision and perception of the world. I don’t need to be told if art is good, bad, irrelevant or a masterpiece, because I don’t need my thoughts to be steered by the loaded language of the establishment. So if I relate to a work of art I will enjoy that engagement and if I’m not interested I will not be swayed by reputation or the provenance of those who assume to have great knowledge. In my own life I dare to be different and see art as a more sobering vocation in which I as an artist have the chance to communicate what I feel life and art is about. Not the look at me I’m a genius school of delusion, but instead look at me I’m trying really hard to produce art from the sincerest place. I’m trying to be honest and ignore all the bullshit and hype that is distorting our perceptions of reality, but it’s not easy. Because I like anyone else am just a human individual with similar characteristics to everyone else and yet I’m expected to perform in the arts arena that would have us believe the greats are almost superhuman, when I know from my own endeavours that even I can touch great heights with my creativity, yet I’m a very ordinary person.

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It is a great conundrum, because I have held steadfast to a set of principles in which I refuse to lie or embellish the story of my life or the content of my work. And I’ve maintained this because I need to feel comfortable with all I say and do, so when I catch a sight of myself in the mirror, I actually know who I am (well almost). So now I write my blog and in truth it saddens me that I feel compelled to do so but the pressures of life forced my hand as I felt compelled to defend my stance from what can at times be cruel judgements from a world that is hungry for fame and reputation. I can’t play that game and I’m not ashamed of that fact but I still feel that my work should be taken seriously as a relevant offering from a sincere place.

I’ve always wanted art to be made available to all the ordinary people like me and so that art has a real meaning in the world I inhabit and I’ve always felt that art made about art to feed the arts industry is in fact not authentic, but instead part of an almost controlled system. The problem is that a great mystique is built up around art, a romantic notion of tormented geniuses and masterpieces that are fought over in the auction houses in displays of utter vulgarity. These myths shape our views and perceptions of the true value of art and take art away from the people not only through physical ownership but also through the quasi intellectual misappropriation. The truth of art at the grass roots is a totally different story and by exposing this reality I feel it could become more inclusive and direct art into a more real place.

I’m passionate about art in a very deep way, I’ve dedicated my life to it and as a result of my integrity feel like I’ve been slapped on a daily basis. I’ve shown great control and always turned my despair into positive creative energy, at times it has brought me into great states of crisis, but somehow I always pull through and keep on going. I couldn’t think of a more agonising mental test particularly when it’s compounded with great physical hardship, but so far I keep passing these tests as I continue to develop as an artist. The wonderful thing is that although I know I will never be satisfied by anything I make, my hunger is always there and I’m always full of hope. In one sense I know that I’m realising the purpose that I have always carried and I guess articulating it here with my simple words is something I feel good about and also vindicated for my choice of the more challenging road.

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