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I found my freedom

February 16, 2015

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My mid-term break from the art production hamster wheel feels like it is over, with this period of reflection serving me well, I feel that I’ve had enough time to sever  the links to my old ways, in their place  I now have a clear way forward. I found what I was looking for “my freedom”  and I’m delighted, because for a time I was lost in the dark. I knew something was missing but I couldn’t identify it untill I broke free from my own conditioning and self deceit. The change needed was both subtle and vast and could only be done through a repetitive mantra untill I was convinced and strong enough to accept a new set of values. Values that are a subtle variation on my established theme that will unite all the elements of my life, yet create the changes my work desperately needed so that it can be lifted to new heights and lows of course.

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I had to react to my conditions and to the art world which I’m a part of, in an open and honest way, by learning to speak and write openly about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I go to extremes with this, out of pure frustration, but then I feel passionate about life and the conditions in which I exist, so I refuse to accept the mediocrity that once overwhelmed me. The question of why I should live a diluted life when I can pursue my art to the extreme is the one that has captivated my attention, and it’s a question that I’m answering. Through my creativity I now intend to pursue my work to the limits, where my guidelines will de delineated by testing ideas to the point of failure. I feel the parameters in which we conduct our lives are far from absolute and it falls upon each and every one of us to establish our own. But what I have learned, is that courage is a key ingredient of art, courage so that you can stand up alone and follow your dream without fear.

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This period of reflection has taught me that the conceptual nature of my work is really one where I explore through a limited set of elements in an almost mathematical approach to possibility, it is the natural evolution of an approach which started in my first attempts at sculpture. However while I work I never think along these lines, instead I go along with what feels right in the moment and that moment is in fact the key to my creativity and why I need to feel free and liberated in order for it to be expansive enough. However I do like to make an attempt to understand my impulses from time to time and so that my work isn’t a total mystery to me.

But my reality is one where my future is a mystery waiting to be discovered all I know is that I feel free to move and continue knocking down my barricades with an open mind. Because when you fight for a lifetime to believe in yourself and your own ability, you have to push on and see it through to its conclusion. My frustrations are abated for the moment and I feel that I’m entering calm waters, but still braced to lift my standards and work hard, so that I can release a lot more of my potential.

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❤ ❤ ❤

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