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Time to take a cruise down easy street

February 16, 2015

372

Through my blog I’ve been slowly establishing the parameters of my reality and through my open dialogue I have been slowly discovering who I am beneath my societal character. I do realise that my blog may have made for some difficult reading, often repetitive and often vitriolic, but I believe my intention was a positive and honourable one.
The intention was solely about finding a way to produce art in a positive way and so that I could offer my art knowing full well that I had done all I could to offer my truth. I didn’t realise at the start just where it would take me and just how deep my feelings ran towards the establishments ownership of art. It really was a journey started from quite a naive place and one that unlocked a new perception of the world which I inhabit, so much so that it undermined great swathes of my formative thinking as an artist. My personal revelations were so damming of my own values that I had to reestablish my outlook on art in a wider context and patch up my own sense of self, so that I could continue as an artist.
Through this transition I have surprised many people I know, in both positive and negative ways, some understand and some don’t. However I must live happily with myself by making the right choices and learn not to worry too much about how I’m perceived by others, because that was always my greatest weakness.
So now I’ve done my ranting, cleared my chest and established a truer state of being which means that I really can move on as an artist. Perhaps even relax a little and start enjoying my life again, in the knowledge that my transformation is a real one and that my approach feels right.
I’m a pretty patched up kind of guy all in all, trying to cope with all that life throws in my path through my unconventional approach. Healing myself as best as I can through my devotion to art, and it’s not always pretty as I struggle to keep on top of my mess and maintain a positive approach.
I still believe that the positive outcome is my art and I dearly hope that together with my work I will once again rise into the positivity that has always characterised my life. Something which I believe is the next natural step in my evolution having exposed the harsh reality that I’m dealing with and having learned to accept it with a greater knowledge. By this I mean that I’m working with a more objective understanding of my wider circumstances, with my eyes open and not fooled by false notions or expectations, so that my work is as it is, to address any circumstance.
Life can be corrosive at times and as I weather the storms that face me in the exposed state of being an artist I know that I must stay strong and keep focused. I must avoid bitterness and always remember how beautiful life is and so that I can express myself in a balanced way and offer art that will mean something special to other people. And that in spite of everything I face,  I will work from the single place of my true being and once again be unaffected by whatever is thrown at me by life, only this time I hope that my solution is not to do from in the shadows but to stand proudly behind all that I do.
In crisis I’ve always been profoundly aware of how alone I am and how the only way out of it is by facing up to my issues, resolving them and finding a solution to take me forward. Sometimes I get lost in the fog of the complicated dynamics of my life, but right now I feel that I can see more clearly. But what I’ve learned is that you can’t avoid the process of processing your life in order to move on and grow, because you can’t hide from yourself.

❤ ❤ ❤

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