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The open world of art

February 20, 2015

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One thing that fascinates me about my life in art is how in the moment everything feels obvious even after all the struggles to get there and how the moment can then dictate the sense of self. It’s almost like there is a double option in which a long-term conscious approach dictates a general direction and the moment where you escape and find freedom. Over the past few years I overcame many long-term issues which held me in bondage and it was vital that  I could link  my states of consciousness into a single direction. It’s a fascination for me that we have the choice to follow these different directions in which we don’t really know where we are heading beyond the vagaries of our imagination.

In my own life I really feel that I have had to take a few extra steps in order to find my way “one step beyond” and to do this I had to step beyond what were my existing parameters and into a world of possibility that had no assurances. It came down to faith and intuition as I blindly foraged beyond my reach whilst trying to ignore the discomfort  that was raining down on me. The fact is that as the dust settles I’m only just starting to understand my developmental achievements so that I can assimilate them into more substantial expressions. I had to ignore the common sense approach and flirt with the ephemeral vagaries of the ether, in the knowledge that each gesture had a meaning. It was counterintuitive to my socially engineered societal being and pure intuition from the depths of my true being and I’m so pleased that I did it. Pleased because I have grown beyond the necessities or expectations of my previous ways and in so doing have found once again the excitement of creativity, when you are dealing with the unknown.

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I think that the act of setting yourself free in a fog of uncertainty is always going to be ugly and it won’t win you many friends because the choices are stark and based on truths beyond compliance which may be rebellious and deeply undermining of the status quo. But as an artist how can you resist the temptations of fulfillment and truth, by trading them for the vanities of societal status and what is often hollow success. I truly believe that you can step outside of the arena and find a human truth beyond society, an art beyond illusion, an art that is free from the constraints of vanity and fashion. An art where you know that all your gestures feel true, with a deep relevance for which there is no reason to categorise and where the art is the expression in itself with no need for words.

So this is my direction and to achieve it, I may have to accept being somewhat detached from the mainstream, locked into my own unique world of expression. And for this I will make no excuses or feel any shame because it’s my only option left and is the only path to producing art that will satisfy my soul.

As an artist you are forced into stark objectivity, you analyse and deconstruct yourself and the world around you in search of the truths and answers to who you are and what you believe as you strive to make purposeful art. From the outside it may look ugly at  times and people find it hard to cope with what often appears quite destructive, when really this is the key to do discovery and originality. Because this is how as an artist one is defined, a process which may look negative but ultimately blossoms into the positivity of artistic expression.

I feel at the end of a process which has set me free as an artist and I have never felt as positive about my future possibilities, the lessons are etched into my soul and I can move forward in a few directions with a little more certainty in my own judgement. I fought hard to get here and have paid the price which I hope is a fair trade.

I’m aware that this little piece of writing is a bit awkward, but it was a struggle to find the words to express this sentiment, because words are not my forte, I’ve learned to express myself through artistic gestures and only turned to writing when my world caved in on me.

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