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The Art of Self Realisation

May 28, 2015


My art is starting to make more sense to me now than at any other point in my life. I think I’m nearing an understanding of who I am and why it is so important for me to realise a form of emancipation through my work. I don’t find it an easy process to understand myself because of the confluence of complex threads which drive my creativity, but as I reduce my distractions I feel a truth is emerging. And with that truth my own emergence is realised through my work as I find the courage to embrace my unconventional values and approach to life.

It’s been complicated to say the least, but my character was formed as the result of being  the youngest member of a family of strong characters, I had the choice to shout out and be heard but I chose the silent option which accounts for why I enjoy anonymity, choosing to withdraw to the comfort of solitude. The silence and peace of solitude with a cat at my side always gave me time to think about all the issues brought to my attention through circumstance.  And my engagement with art and creativity became like a companion through my slowly evolving consciousness.  I think this is why my art is so important to me, because it’s real and present, and why I can’t sell out and compromise what is in fact the building blocks of my identity. In a way none of this matters now, because what is important is the development of my art and how far I can take it with my quest for a greater freedom of being.

I was thinking earlier about my art, why I make it and why do I have such a deep respect for art and I feel that it’s because through art I was able to ask questions. And through these questions I was able to explore my humanity and find an understanding that eased the awkward realities of existence within the rather odd parameters of society. In my mind  and through my art my horizons expanded and the triviality of societal conformity with its limitations  were firmly left behind and I could reach for the stars and beyond. A world without limitation where my only obstacle was the fear of becoming lost in the vast abyss of infinite possibility. And the beauty is that all this possibility lies within each of us, this connection and consciousness, what is held in our minds and the fabric of our being and it’s our gift should we choose to accept it. Art is all about opening doors and yet our conditioning through society is all about closing doors and it is something that I have ever been able to come to terms with.

So art to me was about transcending the mundane societal life, and avoiding the competitive distractions with all the invented sets of rules, because I wanted to explore my possibilities without the unnecessary distractions of the intent of others, I simply didn’t want to conform or be a part of an imposed whole. But I had to survive within society and so my life became an awkward balancing act of exposure to the mechanisms of society and then retreat to the safety of my own solitude and the cats. But as I grew older the responsibilities increased and I became more detached from my own truth and the reality is that a person like me exposed to the rules of society is car crash material. But what has really distressed and angered me is the attitudes I encountered when I felt troubled by it all and how I had to toughen up to protect my ways.  I discovered you have to fight your corner to exist the way you feel is right even when you are not treading on anyones toes.

The good thing is that I’ve come through that phase of life and started to find the answers and understanding which I’ve always been searching for and I’m finally able to see my work as a personal journey towards liberation and freedom. That through my art I will finally shed all the detritus and baggage that enchains me and so that I can realise my vision through the expression of art. In a way it’s about overcoming the human condition and learning to go beyond the limited expectations of collective oppression and so that I can work freely in my own arena of possibility. As a living being born on to a planet within the vastness of infinite space, I’m part of something so huge that it trivialize’s the notion of modern society, and the bigotry of it all, the tribal and religious difference. In fact so much of our lifes energy is taken up by our obsession with identity that we allow ourselves to be engineered into convenient strands  of conformity because difference threatens our belief structures. And instead of celebrating our beautiful gift of life, we fight amongst ourselves and compete against each other to fill our pockets and compensate for our inadequacies turning the beauty of life into a miserable existence. This rat-race is not for me which is why I’ve abandoned my ambitions beyond personal goals and I don’t want to be part of any scene or fashion, I have no desire for personal wealth or status, so yes I know what I don’t want and I’m quite lucky in that I’m doing what I want and need to live a fulfilling life. Hell I knew I could get there in the end 🙂

Our beautiful blossoming into existence is so ephemeral in the time frame of eternity  and  a mere speck in the vastness of infinite space and yet we spend our lives railroaded by societal obligations that neither respect or reflect the sheer wonder of our possibility and that’s why I say fuck it 🙂 and I say it quite a lot.



❤ ❤ ❤

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