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The Art of Life

June 17, 2015

 

214I’ve struggled with adhering to convention which is why I’ve always tried to maintain a level of independence, my first and last real job was in 1987 and only lasted 8 months before I felt compelled to walk away. I guess there are a few reasons for the causation of my way of being but at the root of it lies a need to feel free and unattached or burdened by the weight of expectations. The result of honouring my instinct and impulse was to become a dedicated sculptor which gave me enough independence and a real connection to society. It’s been a strange existence and one in which I’ve felt very comfortable at times untill the scales tipped and I started to lose my direction as circumstances forced me into the inevitable trap of monetary requirement and the subsequent leverage of the art market. The energies changed and my direction was corrupted as the sanctity of my world was opened up and laid bare, now I was open to suggestion and my fate was slipping out of my own hands.

Lately I’ve wrestled back the control of my work and there are times when I can make sense out of my approach to art, how it’s received and I’ve grown to understand the reasons why it’s largely ignored by the art world. I don’t know why I’m driven to follow my specific direction beyond it being what feels like a life long purpose, a means of answering persistent questions and offering a visual communication that is almost subconscious on most levels. Sub-conscious to me too as I learn to work with greater intuition and worry less about conforming to the rigid dogmas and direction of society

I feel I’ve changed fundamentally through my artistic dedication and whilst the content of my work has evolved smoothly it has taught me so much, and the reactions and contributions which I’ve received as a consequence of showing my work have helped me in a profound way. It’s been a curious dialogue for me and slowly but surely I have learned to erase my preconceptions and absolute beliefs which held me in bondage to a limited approach of the rational and logical mindset. It’s taken years to resolve and change my approach to one in which I chose to ignore many of the issues and mechanisms of contemporary society, for example I used to be very political, I took an interest in sport and tv and became immersed in such conventions. But I found that through art I could ignore the trappings and controlling mechanisms of society because I was able to connect with something more fundamental to my humanity. And through this inner connection I’m able to create art with a greater level of originality because I’m not conforming to external expectations, I can make what the hell I like and I do 🙂 .

I’ve learned so much from other people and their reactions to me and my work , how gender can be ignored because it’s a distraction to what can be a unified human expression or feeling that is without prejudice and how we as humans are of one tribe and species. Both these areas are sources of difference and conflict within world dynamics and within simple societal dynamics and they use up so much energy to resolve something which never needed to exist in the first place. It has been utterly fascinating for me to observe and record ideas, slowly growing a deeper understanding of the human condition, filtering out the distractions so that I could get to the core of my fundamental urge to express myself through sculpture.

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I have batted away so much meaningless rubbish and triviality to set myself free away from ego and the rat race and I’ve done this because they are an utter distraction to the purity of my creativity. This is why I don’t see art as a competitive vocation and why I hate the trivialization of art through the dogmas of  institution and the triviality of fashion and trending. There is too much bullshit for me and I can’t take anymore so I set myself free to do as I please and be the artist that I have always been driven to being. I now know that as much as the art world will never accept me I will also never be able to accept it but I won’t let this stop me from being the artist I’m capable of being. The concept of “Fuck you, you Fucking Fuckers, Cos I’m alright” works both ways in my life and is fundamental to my approach and acceptance of circumstance because I had to toughen up to survive and protect what is important to me.

In some respects this is a stark conclusion to a period of my life, but one I believe in too strongly to ignore, because I need to move forward liberated by my dedication to seeking answers through my art. I have also learned that the sharing of my art is paramount to my development as an artist because of the lessons learned and the invaluable response which I get. I’m still not absolutely sure about my rebellious spirit in terms of being an outsider and I still question the viability of my stance and wonder if it’s realistic in the times in which I live. Because societies are following a specific direction and art is locked into it, does society need questioners and exponents of unconventional wisdom or does it need all energies focused into a specific direction and wisdom. My gut feeling is that the accelerating general movement of society is proving to be a force of disconnection on every level of being even down to machines making art for us. In a way it feels like a sanitation of fundamental humanity where we are starting to exist in a false realm held in virtuality and I can’t quite see the point of it or where it’s leading. Through my work I feel like an exponent of the polar opposites as I seek more fundamental connections on all levels, from my historical lineage to the cave artists to the cosmic connections of  existence and the big bang in infinite space.

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❤ ❤ ❤

One Comment
  1. Beautiful post, with honesty, depth and meaning as well as being truly thought provoking. What it is to belong whilst maintaining our individuality and uniqueness, for me it’s the never ending circle of the contradiction of human existence.

    Liked by 1 person

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