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The Voice of Art

August 8, 2015

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For years I’ve struggled with the development of new ideas in order to take my work to a higher level. A struggle which has forced me to reassess my whole life experience, as well as all my assumptions and a lifetime of conditioning and so that I could reach a basic truth of who and what I am. I didn’t choose this path so much as I was forced into it by the circumstances of my existence and the consequences of my artistic gestures in the context of contemporary society.
My reality was one of such struggle to survive in the material world, that I was becoming a slave to mediocrity and my artistic potential was becoming neutralised. I could have wasted my life as an artist and sold out my integrity by becoming compliant with the expectations and conventions of artistic practice, but for my inherent defiance. And so I kicked off in my own little way and embarked on finding a meaning to my life which I believed in.

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It now feels like an awakening from a state of being in which I had become compliant, a compliance which in effect neutralised the spirit of true art. But as I look back I now realise that I had to conform so that I could understand and survive within the system. I also realise that my latest phase is probably the most important one of my life so far, because it is the one in which all my experience can come together to identify and define the vision I’ve believed in for my entire adult life.
(Today I looked through a book about Van Gogh and could clearly see his developmental arc which led to his most famous works which were painted in the last three years of his life. How through his works, he studied and evolved before blossoming in the sanctity of his own obscurity. Producing his true art, his vision through an absolute determination, which I have to say I deeply admire. He had a point to prove and he succeeded in proving it in the only way an artist can.)

So I feel relieved that I rescued myself from the brink of personal failure and I feel that my unique artistic vision is flourishing before my own eyes, which is all I can do. Because if I feel good about myself then it means I’m doing ok even if obscurity is my domain.

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This struggle I write about has made me determined to prove my worth as an artist and it has also set me free to work entirely independently. I can write what I please, draw what I please and sculpt what I please, because I don’t fear the ramifications of my gestures. And it has done this because I have seen through the half-truths and the bullshit of pretence which underpin the corrupt institutions of art . Institutions which should help artists but instead uphold a status quo that banish talented artists to the margins where they exist in poverty. So when I write and say “fuck of you fucking fuckers” it comes from deep within and I really mean it, because the systems in place are a disgrace. The truth is no one gives a fuck within this system untill you have some currency which will benefit their status either financially or for matters of kudos and so if your work is not understood, then you’re out of the game. For two or three months I haven’t been able to afford the basic materials to make my sculpture and so I draw, and no one gives a fuck because that is where we are as a society. I don’t mind anymore either, because I’ve seen it and done poverty so many times having lived my life on the edge of financial survival. We as a society just seem to lack compassion and empathy, a world in which altruism is seldom defined though action and deed and it is my privilege to witness this as an artist. I’ve reached that point where I’m almost able to look at life in a detached way observing, processing and expressing in a pretty dropped out kind of way and I can tell you this feeling of freedom is to say the least, pretty awesome. 😉

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Having written those expletives, I feel that my reaction to the shared circumstances of societal existence have led me towards a more authentic art, because I feel that I’ve found a true purpose for my art. If I’d had success and notoriety I’m sure I’d have become distracted by vanity and ego, but my graft has kept me grounded and led me to a level of creativity, defined empirically through my reality. The great thing is that my understanding of art has slowly evolved in a most unexpected way, yes it has at times left me utterly broken but with courage you stand up and fight till you find a way forward. I think it’s what you call character and creativity demands it, particularly if you’re looking for new and original ideas.
In one sense I take life very seriously, it is so beautiful and we are so full of potential, then I think about the implications of societal imposition and my humour kicks in as I try to keep it real.

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❤ ❤ ❤

One Comment
  1. gkazakou permalink

    thank you for sharing this. i think its like a manifest every artist can underscribe.

    Liked by 1 person

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