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The Awkward Beauty of Being

August 9, 2015

 

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I feel that I’ve reached a stage with my art where I’m able to not only draw what I feel within but also discover what lies hidden within. It’s  strange in many ways because I have no idea what will appear by capturing those transient feelings which I believe are quite critical to the moment. I often feel that if I started the drawing five minutes later it would probably be entirely different and because of this I feel that I almost relinquish my control over my creativity and I enjoy this possibility. Not only do I find out more about who and what I am, but I also have a far greater adventure with my work. So for now uncertainty is my companion and creative guide and I simply don’t know where it will lead. It’s great because I do believe that life should be lived as an adventure full of hope and promise and I really feel this at the moment, because my values feel restored and my agitated soul is no longer troubling me.

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The down side is that I don’t believe that I can maintain this approach if I want to pursue my sculpture but I sincerely hope that by drawing regularly I can hold onto a way of expressing myself from these depths and hold the creative intent as near to my truth as possible. The life lessons one learns through art are quite amazing in that they are not restricted by language or time and it is possible to connect with what I feel are fundamental human values. In fact I find it so deeply satisfying that when I work with commitment and belief I really want nothing else from life and the temptations for societal success recede into oblivion, simply because money cannot buy a contented soul.

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It’s  ironic in a way because I set out to change my artistic direction a few years ago, feeling I had become lost and I’ve found a new direction which is in a sense all about being lost in the midst of creative freedom. I feel it’s a state without any solidity and one in which connectivity seems to be at the core of everything and because of this there is a resolution of personal human potential, which leads to an inner peace and a level of contentment. I just feel when you identify who you are, you can start to exist in harmony by being true with your actions and intent, I think it’s called integrity. But the incredible thing for me is that my whole life is starting to make greater sense as my fragmented history pours into my work through my new-found approach.

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There’s been a lot of fucking up in my life (as with most people I presume) and to be truthful I can only repair some of the damage as I journey through life, but ultimately my life will be defined to me by the realisation of the hopes and dreams I started out with. The great thing about art is that it keeps throwing up these chances that carry you forward if you can find the courage to step out of convention.

It’s funny but I often feel duty bound to explain the awkward nature of everything I do and make, it’s like when I write I use the “f” word and express anger and frustration which upsets some people. But I do this with everything I produce, because I feel it’s true to the impediments of being human, we’re not perfect and life isn’t perfect, so why should I try to paint a picture of perfection and buy into the notions of high aesthetics and fantasy. So instead of making everything pretty and beautiful I keep it real and flawed a bit like me and the society I live in.

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❤ ❤ ❤

One Comment
  1. gkazakou permalink

    its a real pleasure to read your sophisticated thoughts about the artist and his art, and to look at your drawings.

    Like

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