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One Directionalism

August 23, 2015

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I must apologise for publishing another blog as I wanted to take some leave from my blog 😦 .  But I’m afraid that life itself is a provocation to me, constantly agitating my soul and my only recourse is to offer an outward expression through writing, drawing and sculpture. I was peaceful once but this life agitates my soul on a daily basis to such a point that peace is no longer upon me. So I express all that is within in hope that one day I will be able to understand my civilizationary disposition and work freely in spite of it.

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I’ve spent most of my life avoiding the almost inevitable assimilation into the straight jacket of the prevailing cultural and political confines of my society. Avoiding the staining of my soul with a way of life that is contrary to the actuality of my own intuitive understanding of existence. For me it felt like a birth right, after being born at home in a council house in Edinburgh in the early sixties from where my earliest memories started at about the age of three. I know my parents protected me from the early onset of state indoctrination and afforded me a level of freedom to just exist as me. I didn’t take fluoride, I wasn’t vaccinated and I was fed a wholesome diet, quite different to those around me. I wasn’t subjected to the school assembly or any religious education in my early formative years, and I believe that it was here my rebellious spirit was born and also my belief in the natural wonders of life. So from a young age I was afforded the space to slowly evolve into being with minimal distraction. I believe it instilled an unshakeable spirit of defiance which has protected me from compliance and which is now allowing me to explore a level of artistic expression that feels both broad and connected. An artistic odyssey without the need to conform to anything or any way of seeing limited by the parameters of enforced values. And I believe this freedom which I feel, is the result of never being afraid to walk in the opposite direction of society and being unafraid to hold wildly opposing values to those which are enforced upon my psyche through the combined mantras of societal oppression. I question everything untill it pains me because I realise that there are no answers and that there is no right way beyond individual judgement. And that rules are there for the sake of rules, for control, order and judgement as a convenient benchmark and guide for living and hierarchy.

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It’s because of all this I allude to above  that I’m really trapped in two worlds, firstly my true reality as a born free human mammal, the freely expressive artist based on a soulful connection, intuition and primeval instinct. And secondly the hostile world of the groomed societal creatures, bound by law protocol, peer pressure, hierarchy and the imposition of shared values enforced upon us by the ruling elite. My life being about a vibration between the two as I struggle to survive and realise my human potential, and this is why I’m so agitated. And it’s because I care that it pains me so much and I can’t change this, I feel a deep sense of empathy which has tortured me  in a society which has used this against  me on so many levels untill it essentially broke me. Eventually I had to come out fighting in order to protect myself and my basic human right to be a free artist and I fight every day to maintain this and avoid my assimilation into the conventional mould. It’s quite simple really, I believe that all life is sacred and quite beautiful, but it’s delicate and ephemeral and because of this we are vulnerable if we expose ourselves to the toxic mix of what is a cruel hierarchical society. This is because hierarchy is based on exploitation and as we are slowly finding out the most powerful are complicit in dehumanizing acts of exploitation.

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It’s been tough call in one sense, because being different and living with different values, is not easy in a society which relies on peer pressure as a legitimate arm of societal control.  I will admit that the circumstances of my life has taken me to the edge of soul survival as I’ve fought to maintain the difference that is so precious to me. But I believe and always have that some people need to live their lives as a gesture of truth no matter what hostilities they encounter, because without these gestures it would be a fait accompli. Even though I feel utterly powerless I can at least communicate and nurture my beliefs which allows me to feel that there is hope. Hope that humanity can coexist with values of compassion both for each other and for this beautiful planet we call home.

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Sometimes my metaphorical  mind imagines the onset of the Zombie holocaust as we are slowly torn and disconnected from our souls, a society travelling in one direction on the common ground laid out for them. A society drained and trained into compliance by every means known to man, a society willing to work and pay for the incarceration of their freedom and liberty. A society brow beaten through all of their senses into living detached and held by the addiction of escapist pulp and meaningless nonsense, a society repeating the mantra enforced upon their souls. A society governed by so few that they can enforce their will without challenge because everyone is walking together in the same direction enforcing their will for them. A world hooked and hypnotised by the screen and his masters voice. A world where you are trampled and discarded if you step out of line. Then look in the mirror in the silence of solitude and ask yourself the questions, Am I free? and Could this ever happen to me? as you try to remember who you were when innocence was upon you.

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Well that is one interpretation of capitalism a political philosophy akin to fascism by the back door.  A political system of oppression disguised as a ticket to freedom in a world of opportunity, like the eternal lottery ticket with the promise of being a winner. Bound by fiscal aspiration within a hierarchy run by conglomerates, a world in which compliance will yield untold rewards, the greater the compliance the greater the reward.

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The problem with this one size fits all is that some of us have odd sizes and are incapable of making the required compromises and because of this our ideas are rejected and we become outcasts. Unable and unwilling to be a part of the all-encompassing and invasive domineering dogma which is now ruling everything as our values have been replaced by material aspiration.

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Have a beautiful day ❤

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