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The art of being one

September 18, 2015

369

I’ve lived my life in a curious way, a way in which I tried to protect the sanctity of my own existence, a way which is not a prescriptive role for the society in which I live. It’s been a curious experience in which I have tried to protect myself from the peer pressure which dilutes the raw truth of just being who I am. Because society cajoles and pressurizes one into conforming for no other reason than maintaining the status quo, no matter how corrupt it is. This dogmatic approach adopted in the name of civilisation and society is far from perfect and places a heavy burden on human existence, a weight of compromise that is counter intuitive to the impulse of human freedom and the expansion of consciousness.

In my life I feel I’ve existed like a solitary pillar, trying to stand straight in a sea of confusion, subject to both the corrosive/erosive elements as well as the nurturing elements of  being, the sunlight, water and nutrition of good will. At times I have buckled and even fallen, but each time I pick myself up and rebuild my life, stronger than before and with greater courage, the courage to realise the truth and purpose of my existence. However there are disconnecting elements of my life from the societal fog of confusion and I fight to maintain the clarity and purpose which is the engine of my existence.

My approach to art has a simple defining purity, I don’t try to be clever, I never follow fashions and I pay respect for past human achievement within the realms of artistic expression. The whole art, ego, celebrity, genius bullshit has no place in my life even though I’ve been caught in this trap of aspiration and ambition. Conversely I must say that I have always looked to the primitive and to the prehistoric art as the fundamental building block of human artistic expression, because I’ve found sanctuary in that anonymity of expression. Art without the baggage of vanity and ego, art that you can just admire as a statement of human achievement.

But whatever my approach and whatever my beliefs are, there is still this huge problem in contemporary society, a problem which delineates art by encouraging conformist agendas and dismissing fundamental human integrity. And so artists like me are consigned to the margins and effectively silenced by an insensitive arrogance of collected will and assumption. It makes what is a simple life extraordinarily complicated and it also makes me quite defensive, aloof  and distant. You see art is complex and for me it occupies a non conformist area of human existence, simply because it is a complete mystery and mysteries are inconvenient in societies which are looking for convenience.

So as a non conformist figure on the margins of society, there are many issues to battle with and in my own case I have found no salvation, because there is no place in which I feel comfortable without sacrificing my perception of freedom. But over the years I’ve managed to forge enough of a belief in my human creative abilities to stand tall and to follow a path I feel is correct for me. It’s been a strange journey in which I’ve slowly edged forward pushing my own agenda little by little, but never really bombastically shouting about it. And through the passage of time I have found my way to be who I am and produce art with a substance relevant to my experience.

Of late I’ve come to realise that an element of my freedom of expression was extinguished nearly twenty years ago and though it bubbled away under the surface I felt unable to explore and share it. And I felt this for many reasons, all of which I must acknowledge and take full responsibility for. It wasn’t untill my exploration of the sculpture “Soul~Fields”, which burst out from deep within my psyche, that I truly awoke to my artistic responsibilities. The story regarding my fate is by the by, but  it’s really one of grief, a period of weakness and the assimilation into an element of mainstream artistic practice. A period and place of acceptance which required my artistry to be tempered and refined into a more palatable expression, it’s what we call compromise.

Now as I look back and reflect I realise that  compromising my art was to have significant repercussions which changed the way I saw society and art and whilst it has been painful on a personal level, it has taught me so much and made me a more significant artist (I think). Ans so I still stand alone as ever without any real support or external validation, because art for me is real and present and not some sort of game in which I chase validation and recognition through creative contrivance . I had to live, test my work and my ideas in order to understand who I am, with that and the response to my work I formed the complex matrix which is now the framework that holds my life together. This matrix is really about the sculptors mind and the three-dimensional realisation of being, a way of seeing and feeling life from every angle. It’s complex and based on feeling and perception, a mapping of all the coordinates to make a whole, something which you feel and is almost impossible to describe. After all it’s the wonder of my life and existence, art is all I have ever done, with an unyielding commiment and belief, you may even call it blind faith.

I feel over time that the most important aspect of my work has become the reality and truth of my art to me and that in isolation I produce the art which I  believe in. I don’t make art for the sake of it, I don’t draw to make pretty imagery, I just express what is within through my creative gestures. Making work that eases the congestion of thoughts which overwhelm my conscious mind.

Have a beautiful day ❤

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