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This is it, right here, right now

September 20, 2015

380“This world is huge and I am small”

My life has become  a realisation of the “now” after years of working in hope. A hope based on a personal development which I felt would bring a reward beyond inner satisfaction. But it didn’t really bring anything from the outside world apart from “the reason” which has given me an absolute focus and purpose for producing art. The sheer folly of my expectations taught me that to hope was just a vague notion without any real foundation and so I changed my focus. Hope restricted my purpose, as my work became directed towards superficial success and aknowledgement, an erroneous notion indeed. I eventually became a victim of the system, held in poverty on every level of being, untill I was eventually able to recalibrate my life.

377“A reworked sketch from 1992, a bad year 😦 “

So I changed my focus and started to address the now, so everything I make has a purpose to the authenticity of my creativity, all part of the connective whole, which defines my very existence. I don’t work for my future and I’m not held by my past, because I realise my creativity in the moment. I have no concern about reputation but I do have great pride in my work and a self belief which is self contained. This place I’ve found for my creativity is a beautiful place for me, because I feel a deep satisfaction that after thirty years of hope, I found the unexpected place I had been searching for. A place  defined by the comfort of being with my own little soul and in the full knowledge that I’m doing all I can to live a full and meaningfull life.

379

Finally I feel liberated and able to throw away the shackles of societal expectation, because I’ve found a non-conformist approach that actually works for me. A unique outlook which suits my soul and all I know of what I am, a position from where I can explore my humanity and creativity without distraction or fear. So at last I can really just live my life, expose my work should I choose and push myself to my hearts desire. And that’s living alright, from my perspective, defining mystery to the best of my ability.

374

Have a beautiful day ❤

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