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The Art of Falling Together

December 2, 2015

 

121My work feels whole at the moment because there is at last a parity with the strands which define my oeuvre, finally revealing a vision specific to my actuality. These elements are simple yet become confused with my all-consuming approach, but for now my writing, drawing and sculpting feel as one, each at the same level and without discord. Likewise there is parity in the content of my work on a conceptual level as I continue to explore within the themes of equestrian composition, figurative work and of course cats, bulls, doves, goats and distorted portraits. And finally I’ve reached the moment of being at one with my own time frame and developmental level. It’s hard to explain because it’s about an arrival that you feel intuitively and to that extent it is the end of a desperate five-year struggle in which I had to climb my own mountain.

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I still feel overwhelmed by the possibilities out there, but am coping well and working through many ideas to a satisfactory conclusion. It’s strange, but by just working one becomes aware of the issues which are of the greatest concern, because they just appear in the work. Whilst I don’t wish to force an agenda or the specificity of a narrative I feel compelled to attempt to make work of a serious and relevant nature, work which I feel  deep within. After all an artist has a responsibility to society and it’s one which I don’t take lightly, regardless of my space, place and position.

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It’s never easy to define ones own modus operandi or even to recognise ones contribution with a clear and present objectivity, but I keep trying, just to achieve a level of clarity which will allow me to ascend further on my developmental arc. I do believe at the core of my work is a recognition of uncertainty in the human condition and because of this there are no absolutes. Right here, right now in my own time I feel the disconnection, the spiritual loss in a global race, where values have become confused.  And so how does one reflect this, there is no right way round or single answers, facts are questionable and the whole nature of our existence is based on assumption. In fact I believe when you analyse anything with a forensic objectivity, you discover there are many layers and you enter the realms of a world of infinite possibility. And this is what art has taught me, because every stroke on a drawing, painting or sculpture is a decision and there is a reason for each one, at the end of the stroke making there is a statement. That statement may perhaps be seen as an absolute, but is it? even though it may have been constructed in an arbitrary way, whatever the origin, it will be in existence to be read by some and  judged by others.

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Sometimes my work may appear quite flippant, but there is a reason for this, which is that I’m trying to break down the conventional approach to creativity, the working with assumed outcomes and predictable certainty . And I do this because I’m looking to go beyond my preconceptions and the certainty of producing knowingly competent work. Exploring my discomfort and fighting my way out of the torment of living without anything to hold onto which is real and certain, this despair that can only be satiated through creative discovery. This random search for something beyond my grasp feels key to unlocking the unique potential and originality of my own existence and experience. I’ve always intermittently played with introducing something so random that it creates an extraordinary reaction and the incredible thing is that no matter how crazy my equestrian compositions are, they actually work, not only as sculptures and drawings but as metaphorical statements, shedding light on the human condition. In this sense my art has been a personal voyage of discovery and has made some sense out of life, but it has also allowed me to see life from a most interesting perspective, with much discomfort along the way.

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To develop ideas I’ve really had to work outside of any mainstream practice, because there are just too many conventions, protocols and expectations which I personally find restrictive. I really need to be alone with my thoughts and meditations in order to understand the deeper levels of human existence which have little to do with the formalities of  societal convention. The problem is really discovering what art actually is and I found it to be a form of human expression which didn’t need to fit within the constraints of the art world or any other prescriptive narrative , because all too often in the art world,  art about art is king. I also need to be allowed to fail with my work and have no pressure put upon the outcome, because the only way I can blossom is by feeling free. The way I see my situation is that my work is a speculative gesture that I believe in, but it’s also transitory and subject to the process of evolving and devolving pressures. The good news is that I’m much closer to freedom now and just have to work through some more psychological inhibitions and confidence issues, which still effect the free-flowing of my drawing.

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When I look back I see a theme in my approach to art, a quest for freedom and through a search for truth the opportunity to awaken and to be enlightened on a personal journey, discovering some of  what lies beneath conventional wisdom. All I know is that no one could ever answer the big questions that bounced around in my brain, so I’ve explored them myself and even though I’ve found no answers my understanding of the human condition feels heightened. It’s a contribution at least, which is all any of us can really offer, because being one of seven billion puts it into perspective.

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Now at the age of fifty-two I think I’ve finally made the break through, I’ve realised a personal vision and a relevant philosophical approach to life and work. I’m comfortable with my achievement and I know the struggle has been worth it, yes I’m poor on a material level and live in obscurity. But in terms of my humanity I feel enriched because I followed  my intuition and found that my path led me to a profound place. A place where I can realise the purpose which has been a companion to my existence, sometimes beautiful and sometimes a thorn in my side. But it’s been this sense of purpose which has driven me to these extremes so that I could find moments of peace in my life.

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Thanks for looking 🙂 and have a great day ❤

One Comment
  1. gkazakou permalink

    like a lot the way you put your questions and find your answers. Have a good day!

    Like

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