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The Story of a Stateless man

January 26, 2016

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Sometimes I become lost on this journey, lost in the confusion and noise of a busy world and I forget that all I seek is silence. The silence in which there is the clarity and awareness of  being, a simple state which cannot be taken for granted. A state which is all too often agitated and confused by the dysfunction society imposes on the equilibrium of our conscious state.

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So each day I wrestle to find my own truth in the hope of finding oneness in a society which is guided by a truth constructed through sophistry. And it’s the making of art which has brought me to this place of two truths, the truth of my humanity and the truth of society. In simple terms, I can make art to please and prosper, or I can make art of inconvenient truths and suffer the consequences and hardship.

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These dichotomies are not specific to art and can be seen in many walks of life, but it’s probably most apparent in the duplicitous world of politics, where image is everything and lies are a plenty, a world where style rules over substance. And the art world in all its glory merely reflects the values of capitalism as we all board the gravy train and exploit all in our path. Societies based on the truth of lies, so that we may live comfortably in denial and without concience for our actions. A society where the ends justifies the means in the warped outlook which is engrained into our souls.

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My problem is that if I succumb to the pressures of society I will have to admit defeat and give up my hope that there is a possibility to produce art with an authenticity and truth. And so I tread on an uneasy path with a foot in either camp, one foot in the art market and the land of pleasing commodities. And the other foot in the land of uncertainty, where integrity and truth of human expression constitute the currency and value. This position is complex and simply pulls me in two directions metaphorically tearing me apart, the consequence being that I suffer more and more from an unpredictable artist’s temperament. 🙂

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It’s a predicament which I cannot resolve, a predicament that is in fact the causation of a great deal of uneccesary stress and distraction. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it and give in, maybe try something else, then at other times I thrive on the challenge of adversity, with a determinaion to prove that I’m right to follow my chosen path. That through my work I’ll be able to prove that art is not just about beauty to adorn walls and attract sales. And that art is also not just about simple provocation and conformity to the establishment. Because art can be about the singuarity of human expression and existence, as a reaction to the actuality of life and circumstance, offering a value to the soul. However there is often no space or place for this art of authenticity because of the philosophical governence of nations which are tied to the fiscal folly of capitalist dogma. As I often say you can’t put a price on the value of art and if you do you subvert the focus and intent of human expression, a high price tag cheapens the true value of art as it becomes a product for the vain, a distraction for those who become blind to the true value.

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I know there is no simple answer to my plight and that societies do not support art or artists beyond tokenism, so I’m left to my own devices and my fate is subject to the whim of a strangely overseen art market. An art market where there is no real place for my philosophical approach to art. And an art world where I’m unable to show my work because the establishment who validate art refuse to recognise my contribution. I feel I understand my predicament and yet am powerless to do anything about it, beyond what I already do.

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So every day I wake up to this world of uncertainty and my daily challenge is to harmonise this dichotomous life, finding the inspiration and heart to keep fighting for what I believe in. But after thirty years it’s getting harder to tolerate the imbalance and accept the futility of my predicament. To believe so strongly in art and not to be able to share it or sustain a dignified material existence makes for a harsh life. This frustration can be unbearable at times and so I turn my back to the world, then disappear into my own little world, sticking two fingers up to the world in an act of petty defiance.

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For now at least I share some of my work on the internet and although it may touch and affect a few people it feels like a benign gesture, an exercise in futility.  And perhaps this is something I can’t continue for much longer, because ultimately it adds to the soul destroying futility of being an artist in a reluctant society, an artist consigned to virtuality. Just another incidental artist in an over crowded world, leading a meaningless life in a meaningless society, exploring the hollow truths of a bleak reality. You see the longer you endure hardship the further you venture into the land of deconstruction, which in turn reveals other truths. And once you’ve witnessed deeper truth’s there is no going back or pretending that everything is fine in this wonderful idyll.

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After a loss of faith in society it becomes a life stripped bare in which eventually the only values which carry any meaning are those that enrich your humanity and understanding of existence. So you dismiss the material world and attachment to the comforts of affluence and put your faith into the values that have no price tags. The other reality which money can’t buy and this is where I find my own salvation, because here is my truth. A state without hierarchy and the petty values we use to subjugate minorities, a place called utopia. 🙂 A place where I make art which I believe in and because of this I can believe in myself and there lies the contentment of a fulfilled life, in my own beautiful vacuum.

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Because I believe in art whole heartedly I don’t expect others to mirror my passion but it saddens me how meaningless art is becoming to an affluent society nourished by global generality. A society drowning in bland corporate mediocrity, a society subjected to cultural dilution, a society further indoctrinated through the cultural imposition of corporate pulp. And whilst I feel I understand the compromised status art has in society, I maintain my belief that art is fundamental to the human condition and something worth fighting for.

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I as an artist am an ordinary man with limited abilities, my work is far from perfect and I produce it in compromised conditions. But my art is true and authentic and although I always wanted to offer it to the world I was unable to, no matter how desperately I tried. But I will not believe that my contribution is  lesser that any other artist, and I will no be broken by a corrupt hierarchical system.

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The human spirit is strong and some people must use their lives to stand up and question the status quo and through example offer something different to demonstrate human diversification.

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I’ve written this without a spell-check for the first time because I can’t one on the new look WordPress and I was always a very poor speller. 🙂 So please excuse any typo’s lol

Have a beauttiful day and thanks for looking ❤

3 Comments
  1. I truly wish you well.
    I wish you could find a way to share the gifts of your spirit with other’s who choose the road less traveled.
    Uniqueness, diversity, integrity and authenticity should be honored, respected and selling respectfully.
    I truly pray this will soon come your way to sustain.
    Thrive On Spirit Strong Eoghan:)))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Wendy 🙂 My blog is my safety valve and through it I’m learning to understand my situation. Hearing about the First Nation struggle has allowed me to think about life based on different values, so thank you for shining that light :)))

      Like

      • We all have an indigenous spirit. Great you’ve tapped in as the “Originals” are all about empowering your authentic spirit. We know the light is winning so please be as the sunflower and keep your face toward the light. The world needs more free spirit’s to bring ancient sage wisdom of our ancestors back into the know… the time is now! Peace be with you.

        Liked by 1 person

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