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In search of the Soul Purpose

February 11, 2016

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Here I am caught in the WWW. (world wide web) asking the same questions, WWW.W? : (What, Who & Why are We?). Yes that old question which has been a close companion to me throughout my life and one I hoped to answer through my pursuit of art.

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The problem is that my journey through art, redirected the purity of my intent to following the lies and deceit of the western art phenomenon. The great art swindle in which the integrity of art was sold out to those, in whose interest it was to reappropriate art as a mechanism of state, so it could be used as part of an oppression through social and cultural control.

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The manipulation and reappropriation of art is a huge topic and so I can only touch upon it here. But suffice to say that a simple strategy involving economic and political powers is enough to manipulate the direction of art. As the CIA did with the American Abstract Expressionist art movement in which it promoted an art movement through financial and institutional means. This is about the art market, critics, collectors, academics, public art institutions, auction houses, printing houses and private galleries all working in unison to create a myth, which can be imposed as a de facto actuality.

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Cultural indoctrination is a strategy which is intelligent but extremely cynical and it’s based on informing people of “what is” knowing that enough people will follow without questioning. In fact the viral spread of cultural phenomenon that America is so good at, is all about the validation of ideas through mass media presentations. Words like “awesome” and “cool” accompany the must haves of a world waiting for the next big thing, so that we can be the first to see, to have, to own, to touch and to buy into. And this is why celebrities are so important, because they are the iconic deities who validate and endorse the products of this cynical commerce.

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It’s amuses me that fine art in the hands of people like Warhol was used to promote popular icons and brands in again what can only be described as a most cynical fashion. But it doesn’t surprise me because capitalism is epitomised by such crass episodes of vulgarity in which we celebrate unfettered exploitation. Nothing stands in the way of progress and the march of capitalism, as opportunity is found in every aspect of existence, rgardless of consequence, though art will expose it. 🙂

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This manipulation of creativity is by no means exclusive to art and can be seen in all mass media. The message communicated through mass media is so powerful that it manipulates us on every level, shapes our values and without us even being aware. But as an artist in search of a truth, this cultural manipulation kept fucking with my head, because I’ve been subject to the same cultural indoctrination throughout my entire life. So much so, that at times I’ve forgotten how to think for myself.

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As an artist I’ve tried to deconstruct myself to a basic level and produce art from the bottom up as it were. Starting with simple marks and slowly elaborating on my findings and discoveries, but it has been a huge struggle because in the end I really had no idea what art was, I couldn’t even define it in my own mind. Maybe I didn’t know what art was, because the emerging art of the western world which I tried to believe in, didn’t feel authentic. It was like art had been hijacked to fulfill a role and a purpose in helping to shape and maintain order in society. We all know that art can be quite subversive so it’s better for governments to have artists on their side and neutralised if possible.

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As I worked on my own art, my mind was always full of thoughts as I fought for my truth, but my thoughts were polluted by the myths and untruths of an art world fabricated on lies. I knew that if I wanted to get on in the art world that I would have to contrive my work into a recognisable style, that I would have to come up with a narrative and a gimmick to sell it to those who could lift my status. To follow fashion and continue with new fashion, to embrace celebrity culture and tailor art to the commodities market. Chasing the zeiteist like all the other crazies lol 🙂

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So to become a successful artist in the eyes of society I would have to ditch my soul and contrive art to fit within the criteria of the establishment, but I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it because I realised following the deaths of my two sisters that life is too important to sacrifice, because without integrity this fragile and short lived life would feel futile. To think that I could live an entire life without ever understanding who, what and why, saddens me. And though I will never have a definitive answer at least I will have lived in search of my truth.

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So for the above reasons I set about searching for my soul and embarked upon the long journey home. In what has been the most complicated adventure of my life, as I slowly untangled myself from the (www) world wide web of society. In short what I had to do was to produce art without purpose beyond human expression and it felt almost impossible.

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I tried to make art without a broader context than the singulaity of being, so that in the moment I could express myself without prejudice. Producing art without the need to show it, impress others or promote my own ego, art that simply didn’t have to fit within the broader context of any contemporary or historical theme or context, art that didn’t even have to be a product. And I could do this by any means which felt relevant to the purpose, in effect art without frontiers.

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Extraordinarily in attempting to make this art from my own freedom I realised that it didn’t even require an audience, to either witness or validate it as art. I could do what I liked when I liked and for whatever reason I felt like doing it. All this recent work I share here is part of this endeavour and  extraordinarily it doesn’t actually exist, because all of this work started out as pencil drawings and now exists as files on my computer, which I can delete at the touch of a button.

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I will of course print a few of these images but because there has been no great interest in them and they have no place that I can find in reality I will take great joy in deleting the thousands of images. Their purpose has been realised as the stepping stones of my journey, just one of the seven billion journey’s being experienced across the planet at the moment. Only when they are erased will the truth of my creativity be realised through the ephemerality of my art, marks in the moment that have no resting place. A brief blossoming before returning into the ether of infinity. No place in the present beyond the hard drive of a laptop and no place for future sentiment or myth.

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These last few years have been about the truth and integrity of my art and I hope that the only legacy is that which is imprinted into my consciousness. That I touched upon something which felt profound and true, maybe even catching a glimpse of freedom and experiencing what it might be like to be free.

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Unfortunately this recent approach of mine is not sustainable within the confines of contemporary society and so I must move into a direction which will sustain my material needs. I don’t yet know what course that will take but I hope that as I move forward I will never forget the lessons I’ve learned through my ideological quest.

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At least for now I no longer feel the frustration and despair of an unfulfilled life and I may even be able to relax a little. Have some time to reflect before moving in a direction which feels true to my soul purpose.

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Today is my 4th anniversary here on WordPress and what a roller coaster ride it has been for me. I’d like to thank all those who have taken the time to read my words, view my pictures and offer much appreciated comments and likes.  So a huge THANKS 🙂 and a very big special thanks to Annerose for being so supportive over these years 🙂

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Thank you for looking and may you have a beautiful day ❤

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