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My Art~My Blog~My life

June 17, 2019

looking looking looking at you

It’s taking me a long time to deconstruct and deformalize my thinking. But it’s something I feel compelled to do in order to understand my life and creativity. I just feel this need to empower myself as an independent and an equal in order to express myself without reservations. The hope is that by deprogramming myself (bit by bit) I will find a way to express myself from a place of greater understanding in which I’m proud to take more ownership and accountability for my creative gestures. A place where I don’ take my baggage of insecurities and hang ups, where rules and regulations don’t exist.

I understand that what I write about my feelings may come across as a little bit precious, but I feel that creativity is bound in a process which is critically dependent upon all the gestures fed into it. I also feel that in an area of free expression one is compelled to explore the very nature of being beyond the formalities of society, tradition and language. To explore the essence  of existence without a compelling need for reason or justification, something which is so hard to do when we are hard wired and programmed into such a powerful interpretation of life and meaning.

But as an artist feeling somewhat alienated to the whole process and imprisonment of art within the constructs of society, you really do have to dig deep to find a way forward. Or at least I do and I am finding a way forward in my own peculiar way, a route which is shining a light towards exploring what appears in my thoughts and one which aknowledges the changes which occur as I move through life. Yes I’ve changed and I’m not the same man I used to be because that’s the way life is, I don’t fear change I want to embrace it.

I have committed my whole life to art and sometimes it feels like I’ve been engaged in a powerful and relentless dialouge. A place of struggle and very occassionaly elation which has brought a great deal of meaning to my life and also a lot of confrontation with all the rules and regulations of formality. On the whole I feel that it’s been a worthwhile pursuit because I’ve been able to see through the constructs of society and human conditioning and I’ve been able to experience the perception of freedom and what may be possible with an open mind.

Now I feel that I must try to move forward and practice art in a way that relates to my current thinking. So that I can see in practice what it would be like to just produce work which stems more from impulse and a little less from following an established practice. The art beyond concerns of good and bad and ego and all that baggage of the look at me arty bullshit hype. The art of it is what it is mate 🙂

Thanks for looking and have a good one 🙂

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