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The Art of Sincerity

October 5, 2019

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I like to write my blog  in the moment expressing how I feel without a filter on my thoughts or interference with the process of expression. A blog which has now become a part of my art  process, a place where I connect with my thoughts without any concerns beyond expressing my feelings. Writings which help me understand myself through the formal structure of writing, an attempt to articulate a point of view and understand the intuitive state of expression. This discussion I have with the ether and myself is in a hope that one day I will move seamlessly along with my art and life. Making art without the self-censorship and inhibition which is so prevelant in this world. It is also about sharing and having the courage to share any thoughts that enables me to develop my work without inhibition, flawed and human. and proud.

morning drawing resized

Sometimes I feel my art is incidetal, a pale reflection of the cognitive processes I experience as an artist searching for meaning. To put it bluntly I’d say that my work disappoints me, exposing the problems I have in expressing myself adequately. There are many reasons for this, unrealistic expectations, the fluid state of change in this dynamic life and the barriers between impulse/intuition and the actioning/purposing of these. With regard to change I think it would be fair to say that life is fluid and without true absolutes to anchor ourselves upon, I mean do we ever really know who we are ? I also believe that my conditioning becomes a barrier to the fluency of expression as I try to expand on the restraints of my thinking. This tightness I feel in mind and body that interferes with my process of expression, manifesting itself in a slight delay in action caused by the self-conscious concerns over expectations and outcomes.

SKETCHER

These insecurities I hold are manifest in my whole approach to art as I wrestle with the judgemental criteria I feel awaits my work from within and without. It’s about a perception of expectations which I believe is misguided and one which I’m still working through. And it’s not easy because being or feeling different is a complex gig in society, particularly when our natural state is centred in the security of social circumstance. I must also wrestle with the fact that in one sense making art is a waste of the time of my own life, simply because I don’t need to make it. I have nothing to prove and in being an artist I’m subjected to a life of poverty whilst being tortured on a mental level as I try to make some sense out of this crazy life. And I know that ultimately this “riddle me this” life I lead will have no definitive answers beyond my own spiritual growth and understanding of life, which may or may not be significnt beyond my own little cameo.

A Resolute Focus

Prepare yourself for a rant 🙂

Right here and now my truth feels like I’m just another of the many artist hampered by the constraints of society,  out there somewhere silenced in the waste lands of lost souls. Living a life of irrelevance beyond a personal engagement with existence and the search for a philosophical understanding of the impossibility of everything. A life on the edge, just surviving the rigours of the economic insanity we call capitalism. At the centre of this great cash grab, we compete in the rat race of a society too quick to judge those that struggle. Yes it can be shitty when your life is not about money and human constructs because there is no place for the ideological surfers in a society which basically states that you get what you deserve. And though the cream may rise to the surface, the floaters do as well. 🙂

Rant over, you can open your eyes now 🙂

In part the discontent I feel as an artist is a natural state, because the search for and discovery of new ideas is a perpetual challenge which can never be satiated or halted. So we keep on keeping on, evolving and changing en route as the search becomes more refined and penetrating into deeper and darker areas of actuality. Asking blunt questions without the requirement of convenient answers to silence the inquisitive mind. It’s a process which leads to a deconstruction of self and of the model of society which holds us in its grasp. The thin veil of society blowing in the breeze, being lifted and exposed to a rationality that offers answers to the awkward questions which are so often skirted over in the realms of polite society.

THE FORGOTTEN 1

Honesty is an elusive notion when we are possibly all guilty of masking the truth to ourselves. Truth being such  a complex beast and in one sense an almost non existent concept beyond the finite rationality of conventional wisdom and formality. Art on the other hand embraces an unconventional bias, questioning all that we take for granted, imposing a moveable feast of values which question our very existence. And it’s through this connection to creativity and source that we try to express a fundamental message from the state of being that offers the viewer a chance to experience perceptions from alternative view points. It is an area of human endeavour where there can be no right or wrong because there is no logic or rationale through which it can be judged impartially and this is one reason why art is so complex and can never be mastered (to use old fashioned patriarchal languge).

So art is a loose cannon, a moveable feast bouncing around society like a pinball with no place to rest. An eye opener and an agitator held at bay by the mechanisms of state, the institutions which try to control art by owning it. But art as a force can’t be controlled for it relies on pure anarchy and freedom to flourish, which is why many artists really don’t care about anything beyond the spiritual freedom to express themselves.

The Art of Failure is a Many Splendoured Thing

 Make of it what you will 🙂 then have a beautiful day 🙂

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