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The Possibility of Anything

November 11, 2019

Sweet Ride A Mine

I would love to be able to write all I needed in one blog, as some grand retrospective conclusion, but life isn’t quite that straight forward. In fact there is no simple truth that I can discern beyond the experiential arc of my own narrative. So I’ve chosen to accept lifes invitation to evolve towards a deeper understanding, silly not to really having been awoken by the slap of circumstance. My realisation that if this is “it”,  then life requires a robust self activation in order to live “it” big.

Fling a Ding

Existing as an artist within this flawed system agitates my soul so profoundly that sometimes I feel my only salvation lies in wakefulness. Though no system can cope with the dynamic possibilities of art, where adversity and chaos are often key to the creative process. It’s very much like a life of adventure, clashing with everything including self. My own confrontation with circumstance often leaves me a bit broken and I have to unlearn my past so that I can rebuild my state of being back to my discordant harmony. The place where I connect with my truth and operate intuitively to the irregularity of truth. I remember well and perhaps even fondly, the lowest point in my life, where I only had that glimmer of intuition to guide me out of oblivion.

# FUCK YOU

An issue that has always plagued me is that when I know something is not quite right, my mind races like a computer, searching for explanations or solutions. These why? questions have often taunted me because I feel that accepting unresolved answers is lazy. Going through life patching up the gaps with irreverent platitudes like “it is what it is” just doesn’t cut it for me. When there is so much potential in our existential possibilities it seems a shame to waste and dilute it. I remember feeling tired of the shallowness society flung in my direction, from education to politics to institution, where the imposition of false purpose is king. It was the sheer volume of unanswered or poorly answered questions that infuriated me because it just left me hanging. And as they say “don’t leave me hanging bro” 🙂

ESSENCE

Perhaps it’s only when you experience torment that you need to question every aspect of your life and society, looking for a solution to the troubles within. To use a cliche, if its not broke then why fix it, but admitting you’re broke even to yourself is pretty darn hard. After all society puts a lot of pressure on each and every one of us to conform and normalise our behaviour no matter how counter-intuitive that is to our souls. Which is why sometimes we have to find the courage to step out of the line in order to to become real and present. To turn life from just living to becoming truly alive and present.

Cool Ride

There have been hours, days, weeks and even years when I’ve been so agitated by life that I’ve been unable to supress my despair, or even understand it. In simple terms, it’s like that old cliche “is this it” is this really it?  Fortunately I’ve resolved some of my frustrations with the answer of “yes this is what it is, so make the most of it”.

Adhering to the notion that life is a work in progress, I readily accept the diversity of life. The feelings of good, bad, ugly, beautiful, happy and sad all working together to create a balance, allowing experience through contrast. Though it’s often the adversity of struggle, frustration and despair,  which creates the desperation to make something of your life, searching for meaning and purpose. So I fight against the desire for comfort and take the rough road so that my mind can remain open without ever being satisfied, fighting for the right to be arty. Living “it” large simply through the art of expression.

150

Currently my lifes direction feels good,  I’ve found a level of oneness and created the space I need to exist and grow. No longer a passenger on the train to nowhere, I’m ambling at my own pace and enjoying the experience of life in the mix. Whilst still experiencing the remnants of reactive rebellion, I’m fully aware that I need to once again embrace a direction in which I hope to celebrate the wonder of existing through my art. To convey what I’ve learned through my personal struggles about the wonders of life and the privilege of being in the madness and turmoil of existence.

159

It wasn’t too long ago that I felt imprisoned by society and by myself, unable to break free from the phsychological restraints holding me. But now having let go, I’ve found the freedom through opening my mind to the possibility of anything.  I even enjoy making my sculptures again because my attitude has become alligned to an approach that is about enjoying and respecting the process. I make art because I wan’t to, not only for the enrichment it brings to my existence but also as a valid contribution to culture. I see it as content making which feels relevant to my ideologies and ways of being, a commitment which compels me so completely that being an end user often escapes my grasp. So with content making feeling like my purpose I will follow that lead, down the long road to freedom.

525

Making art and writing my blog has helped me evolve and grow into possibilities beyond what I imagined. This conversation I have here with myself has allowed me to articulate and clarify my personal status. Allowing me to understand the transient nature of life, demonstrating how much I change and how mood and emotion influence my thought processes. This plastic nature of being is almost like a piece of clay being sculpted on a daily basis, perhaps even hourly, to the point of realisation that who and what we are is not fixed. That identity is possibly quite flexible in a life explored with an open mind.

of deconstruction

Sometimes I feel life is like a fluid jigsaw of contradictory elements, where our whole forms from the cerebral, emotional, intuitive, soulful and heartfelt aspects of being. Locked into this delicate balance we hold on tight to what we imagine to be true but belief and faith is just a choice that holds us.

Thanks for looking 🙂

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