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The Art of Being Free

4 From an artists perspective I feel that the “art world” is a reflection of society, used to support and uphold the establishment. It’s a precedent reinforced througout history, in that the commissioning of art became a duty to holders of power and money. Art subsequently became a mechanism for the power players, such as religious institution, political power holders and the rich. It’s a curious tradition and one that is so deely engrained in the practice of art, that it is hard to break free from.

In one sense I feel that art has become an unwitting  prisoner to a tradition stitched into the fabric of hierarchical and patriarchal society. A contrivance protected by institutions and academic rhetoric which has limited connections to the fundamental truths of free expression. An art world which excludes many free thinking artists, leaving them to perish on whatever scraps are available. I could dwell on the painful life of poverty and the creative compromise that smothers these artists, compromising the truth of human expression, but I won’t. Instead I’ll celebrate the remarkable journey it takes to extricate oneself from engrained thinking and the spirit of optimism it takes to succeed. By succeed I refer to a more personal evolution, through the realisation and understanding of a purpose and to actually see for yourself.


In my own journey as an artist I’ve grown to recognise that what I’ve been taught about art and its history, is just an imposition on human creativity and that art is actually anything one feels that it is. It’s not so much about achievement and recognition, but instead an expression of being, the soul connection from which you can express your truth through the marks you make. This connection being an area of great importance in the recognition of who and what you are in relation to the time and place of existence. In my thinking as an artist, I try to explore my own context to the extraordinary act of existing, which has no tangible boundaries. Exploring art freely without the need for reference to conventionaly engrained thinking.

I’ve always attempted to create art without compromise, searching for a simple and fundamental truth, but in reality it has proved to be a near impossibility . Perhaps what I was looking for was a deeper understanding of life, a way of connecting to my humanity and finding a purpose. It’s been an interesting experience in which the art I’ve made has become a by-product of a spiritual journey of growth and understanding.  By casting off the shackles of social conditioning through my approach to art I now feel able to see and reflect upon life without (too much) prejudice. I feel that it’s a form of liberation from the ways of seeing imposed upon me by the generalizations and uniformity of societal convenience.


Rebelling against the conventions of society is a social norm and a bit of a cliche for the artist, but it’s an unavoidable conflict when you’re dealing with the freedom of human expression versus bureaucracy. And there are consequences to these acts of rebellion particulary with the personal psychological effects, as you slowly deconstruct your socialized traits of being. It’s not just about trading the security of convention and societal protection for the unknown, but also the requirement of the artist to share and expose the intimacy of their thoughts and ideas for the dissemination and judgement of others. You stick your head on the block without any protection and you face the consequences.

I’ve found the process of my personal evolution to be most complex and extremely testing on all levels because my direction has been somewhat counter-intuitive to a successful outcome within the realms of society. There have been phases where I grew and evolved without dilution, but as a younger person I felt I needed validation and acceptance to survive in the material world. This compromise turned out to be a slightly poisoned chalice and led to a level of creative subordination, a trap which I fell into without truly understanding. All I was aware of was a level of discontent and an inability to recognise a fundamental truth from within the art world. An inconvenience which delayed my personal evolution into the knowing of and being myself.


In my current phase of thinking I now believe that my role as an artist is not that of a performer for the puppet masters of society but instead a more fundamental expressor of human consciousness, exploring a perceived connection to the reality of my sentient life. I also really don’t know if I still have the need or desire to make any more art at this juncture, because the purpose no longer feels to be there. By this I mean there is a oneness between what I’ve made and how I feel as a person, it may just be a natural resting point. I guess we never really know what lies ahead which is what makes life such an interesting adventure as it unfolds in real time.

As I try to look forward my aim is to explore the full gammet of emotions and feelings towards and from life. The love, the hate, the passive, the beautiful, the ugly, the indifferent and the dammed wretchedness too. And it’s through this open exploration that I hope to arrive with some fascinating ideas and hopefully surprise myself. But fundamental to my art is the pursuit of truth because this is where I think the true value of creativity lies. And this is because I feel that one of the most poignant aspects of art is its ability to stop us in our tracks with a reaction. To stop us and make us think and readdress our perceptions of life and the world around us on all levels. Art providing an invitation for us to just let go, setting our souls free so that we can just enjoy being without any baggage.


Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂

Born Free But Not Equal

Rebel You Fuckers

Today I can feel the rebellious spirit coursing through my veins 🙂

I often muse over the complex nature of free thinking within the confines of society and how we’re all conditioned (or socially engineered) through the patriotic traditions and systems of religion, politics and social order. And in particular how the global systems of economic management which have no bearings on the actuality of organic human existence impact upon us. Systems which bully us all into the simplification of conformity so that we can passively enable the continuance of continuity without questioning.


From my own observations as a subject of the united kingdom 🙂 I feel that the role of Hierarchies throughout history is a huge problem, particularly with all the exploitative possibilities to hand. Because there is a sense of entitlement which is generated through status and wealth which has no bearing on worthiness or merit, but instead a reward for opportunism, greed and exploitation. All of which sets a tone in society for the smash and grab mentality of the winner takes it all. And in this so called civilized world we are taught to just accept injustice as normality and not even question the status quo. The British Empire being a beautful example of such exploitation and hypocrisy.


As human beings we may be born free but we’re by no means equal and our lives will be subjected to the inequality of society, something which may impact heavily upon us. We will be judged and in turn learn to judge as we become assimilated within the system where each and every one of us will act out our part and fulfill a role. And it’s curious because we will be judged by, gender, ethnicity, religion, politics and also by everything that we choose to identify with, right down to the sporting teams we support. Our sense of freedom being a perception relative to the boundaries imposed upon our lives.


I feel a need to question identity and wonder why we really need to be defined in so many ways when we are born as innocents on to a singular planet. Is it that important that continents are divided into seperate territories and we are all assigned a space and place under the flags and cultural heritage of that place. Or could it be that we will one day be allowed to choose the reason we feel that our existence came into being. To explore free thinking beyond the constraints of boundaries and the cultural oppression of states. I even wonder if the cultural appropriation of human life is still valid in the twenty first century or is it time for people to cut loose and explore their existence beyond the simplistic boundaries. Culminating in the redefining of self in a global context without prejudice.


In my search for freedom I often wonder if we should we be concerned about history and held prisoner to the beliefs and traditions of  evolving civilization. And I contemplate how it would be possible to break free from the conventions of normality as has been documented and catalogued through time. Because with art I sense the control of authority and how it becomes protected by the elitism of the establishment and it really concerns me in my own work and how I’ve felt bullied by the enablers of the art world. An art world which holds artists through implied constraints and invisible restraints of history and economics. I mean the art world isn’t like it is just because it is, it’s like it is for a reason. A reason which is not so holy.


Living in this divided world we fight over religion, politics, borders, ethnicity, gender, oil, money, sport and just about anything else you can think of. Yet we call ourselves civilized, we spend fortunes on (so called) defense budgets so that we can attack others, destroying and mutilating life and earth as a justifiable and patriotic gesture. But all this does is expose the truth of greed and tyranny beneath the thinly veiled illusion of civilization. Something we all just go along with because the powers that be condition our thinking from day one. A life in which we are manipulated by our state, through lies and fakery so that we enforce their will upon others. Blinded by patriotism we follow and support tyranny believing we are just and right to do so.


I find life absolutely fascinating because we live our lives in a way that relates more to the so called matrix of society than to the actuality of the living breathing planet which we are choking to death. A world in which we’re encouraged to be more concerned about the lives of  “A” list celebrities than we are about the plastification of the oceans. So while the world heats up in protest and the mass extinctions gather a pace, we bask in the glory of ego and achievement. A world where the value of values is turned upon its head and economics lead the way to exploiting every last drop of goodness out of the planet. A world without true democracy or meritocracy because exploitation, protectionism, monopolisation and corruption win hands down in a world consumed by economics.


The craziest part of economics is that money is a human invention that in itself has no value, yet it dictates our lives. People die and suffer the most inhumane treatment through no fault of their own beyond circumstance, just because we as humans put fiscal values on commodities and services. So you have to ask the question why? and whether or not it’s right to use money as leverage to justify our actions. On a global level that means should we let people suffer because their countries are poorly resourced and have nothing to offer the global economy. For me the bottom line is that greed is unpleasant when compared to sharing out resources evenly, but sharing can’t be achieved when we live under such a global political dictatorship.


So like it says in the print I’ve tried to dance like that fucker, but now I’m a would be artist that’s stalled by a glimpse at the enormity of truth. Just a one time regular guy exploring creativity within the confines of society until I took that one step beyond. The step which broke my bond to all I thought I knew and exposed a different reality of human endeavour beyond the constraints of the societal matrix. The place of human freedom where intuition and connection to existence reign supreme. A place where there is nothing to prove in the fulfilment of being.


Thanks for looking and I sincerely hope you have a beautiful day 🙂

My Art~My Blog~My life

looking looking looking at you

It’s taking me a long time to deconstruct and deformalize my thinking. But it’s something I feel compelled to do in order to understand my life and creativity. I just feel this need to empower myself as an independent and an equal in order to express myself without reservations. The hope is that by deprogramming myself (bit by bit) I will find a way to express myself from a place of greater understanding in which I’m proud to take more ownership and accountability for my creative gestures. A place where I don’ take my baggage of insecurities and hang ups, where rules and regulations don’t exist.

I understand that what I write about my feelings may come across as a little bit precious, but I feel that creativity is bound in a process which is critically dependent upon all the gestures fed into it. I also feel that in an area of free expression one is compelled to explore the very nature of being beyond the formalities of society, tradition and language. To explore the essence  of existence without a compelling need for reason or justification, something which is so hard to do when we are hard wired and programmed into such a powerful interpretation of life and meaning.

But as an artist feeling somewhat alienated to the whole process and imprisonment of art within the constructs of society, you really do have to dig deep to find a way forward. Or at least I do and I am finding a way forward in my own peculiar way, a route which is shining a light towards exploring what appears in my thoughts and one which aknowledges the changes which occur as I move through life. Yes I’ve changed and I’m not the same man I used to be because that’s the way life is, I don’t fear change I want to embrace it.

I have committed my whole life to art and sometimes it feels like I’ve been engaged in a powerful and relentless dialouge. A place of struggle and very occassionaly elation which has brought a great deal of meaning to my life and also a lot of confrontation with all the rules and regulations of formality. On the whole I feel that it’s been a worthwhile pursuit because I’ve been able to see through the constructs of society and human conditioning and I’ve been able to experience the perception of freedom and what may be possible with an open mind.

Now I feel that I must try to move forward and practice art in a way that relates to my current thinking. So that I can see in practice what it would be like to just produce work which stems more from impulse and a little less from following an established practice. The art beyond concerns of good and bad and ego and all that baggage of the look at me arty bullshit hype. The art of it is what it is mate 🙂

Thanks for looking and have a good one 🙂



It’s away from all the noise and furore surrounding the practice and appraisal of art where I find my closest connection to truth. Where there are no expectations or rules to spoil the art of expression, the state called anarchy where ones soul resides. Because I believe that to truly express yourself you have to be care free, leaving your ego in the parking lot. It’s a state that I seem to touch upon briefly, but a state which demonstrates the value of understanding existence through expression.

At the moment I’m doing a few paintings, exploring how I feel in the moment when confronted with a canvas and some paints. Painting whatever feels right in the instance of time to just see what happens. It feels quite interesting and in some strange way it’s connecting all my lifes work and feels like I’ve come full circle. I have nothing to prove so there really is no pressure beyond my search for meaning.


I do feel that in the realms of free expression there is no good or bad art because value judgments are irrelevant to a creativity which doesn’t have a specific universal meaning. So whether people like or dislike paticular art is quite meaningless in the greater scheme of our organic existence in time and space. And it’s at this very point of thought where I find my freedom and get out clause from the compelling nature of societal laws of expectation. Because I can do what I want as an artist, however there is a big IF, which is, IF I can free up my thinking and release myself from bondage.


I feel there is this possibility that through expression, you may touch upon or connect to the force of life and existence. With the who what and why of our placement  within this arena of existence. A connection beyond the specifics of interpretation  that we are conditioned with through conventional traditions. So just maybe through uninterupted expression one may actually understand life with a greater level of purity. An understanding beyond that of language and the formalities of logic, rationality and intellectualism. Or to put it more simply, the freedom to experience life without prejudice from new perspectives.

on the eve of construction

Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂

PS- Still no spell checker so sorry for the typo’s

The Art of Trailblazing

out of the blue

I believe that it’s the duty of an artist is to lead, not follow, though it’s a bit easier said than done. Or it is for me because trying to blaze a trail even for myself is compromised by the multifarious machinations of life . But if you at least try to find the strength to blaze your own trail then the ball starts rolling and things happen. So in one sense it’s all about finding the courage to make that start by believing in yourself.

Textures from my life

Just Recently I’ve returned to painting as a means to checking in with my creative state. Painting in the moment as part of my ongoing quest into furthering my knowledge of  what human expression is all about. It’s that old chestnut for me about what is an uncompromised expression done without a care beyond the expression itself.

Funny Old Soul

So far I’ve made about five paintings, really enjoying the spontaneity of it all and I have to say I feel much more free than I ever did before. And it’s this freedom that I’m looking for so that I can just go for whatever it is that feels true to who I am and what I have to express. The liberation of the soul to stand clear of this life in which we are all so conditioed by the whims of society.

Paint me Bad

I’ve chosen acrylic paint to paint with as I really enjoy this medium for its quick drying and the way it can be layered without too much merging of colour. And perhaps finally through the painting of canvas and board I’m blazing a trail towards the real me and truth of who I am.


Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂

See For Yourself


I sometimes wonder if in the fog of life we ever really know who we are, understand how we feel about life and if we ever truly understand others. Just how in the tumult of everyday life do we access our true feelings about planet earth, nature and all that the world offers us, particularly when our lifes are so trapped. And I wonder if it’s important to feel comfortable in the silence of our own existence, with who we think we are in resolving a meaning for our life. Should we feel the need to be defined and driven by an identity or just free to be.

I have to admit that sometimes I don’t really understand anything, which I believe is resultant from my life as an artist exploring creativity. A life of constant questioning in which I’ve struggled to find definitive answers, and when I found tentative answers the curiosity of discovery only stimulated further questioning. And so through the creative process I’ve followed the well worn path of deconstruction followed by reconstruction, in perpetuity. The consequence of this being that the hole you dig becomes deeper over time, removing the constructs of conventional stability.

In life there can’t really be absolute rights or wrongs or even good or bad, because everything is subject to a subjective interpretation and so assumption and acceptance of theoretical probabilities (or possibilities) is all that we can go on. Our human interpretation of existence guided through science, economics, maths, arts, philosophy, religion, language and all the subjects we have evolved in our march towards civilisation. The ways we as humans have tried to explain understand, celebrate, create and destroy the world into which each of us were delivered as innocents. All these disciplines being the way civilization has evolved and consequently influences our ways of seeing and being.


So the world according to human perception is just one way of seeing and interpreting what is in existence all around us. Taking our five senses and evolving technologies to see beyond our perceptive capabilities. Something that as a curious artist really inspires my imagination to look beyond the obvious into the vastness of possibilities that are invisible to us.

(Because we are social beings that live in groups we are all easily influenced, looking for recognition and acceptance by our peers. So we fall into conventional fashions and indulge in viral behaviours that become affirmations of identity and status. Doing what we are told because we respond to assertive leadership such as the following of religious doctrines and political ideologies. Building an identity as a social construct, shaping our individual piece as part of the great jigsaw of life. Lives governed by the immediate geographical, political, and religious influence. Lives in which we are taught and showed how to be and think)

I believe that seeing and feeling the world through ones own eyes and visceral instinct is much more complicated than it sounds, or at least it is for me. In fact it’s taking a life-time of real and present struggle to understand and decipher the enormity of being a living entity with levels self-determination. Stepping through the illusion of what is taken for granted in an attempt to embrace a more fundamental reality. A reality beyond the cajolement and agitations we are all subjected to as part of our involvement with civilisation. A reality in which my desperation leads to a prevailing isolationist thinking in the search for something of substance.

In many ways my thoughts are like the age old rights of passage which many artists arrive at in their own ways. And they centre around truth, authenticity, connection and meaning, so that when you express yourself there is a fluency. That the marks you make in the moment are true and relevant to who and what you are.


I’ve never felt a strong need or dependency on other people and though I really enjoy socialising, I do need to spend time in a solitary way. Having the time to think and feel my own actuality so that I have the chance of exploring self-determination. I don’t look to be a follower, instead I attempt to see for myself and interpret what I see with minimum interference. I even remember as a child that it was my instinct not to be part of social groups and gangs because I didn’t enjoy the behavioural impact it had on myself and the people around me.

As I grow older I feel a greater sense of freedom and autonomy which is allowing me to see the world with greater clarity. By deconstructing the pillars of society I can see it as the construct which it is, and this allows me to change and move around with my own thoughts. Because in a life beyond the bullying from society there are other ideologies and ways of being, seeing and doing. Other solutions for humanity and other directions based around entirely different approaches to life.

I just feel we no longer need to be governed by tradition and past precedent, intimidated by classicism and the mausoleums or museums of past human endeavour. Held back from autonomous thinking by the academic institutions who wield their influence and maintain the status quo. A society controlled by the social engineering in which we are all manipulated into compliance. Surely at some point humanity has to break free from the imprisonment of the past to actually move forward with a definitive direction beyond bumbling along and blindly following capitalist ideologies.

In writing this blog I just explore my thoughts in what is a personal quest and I share it as I feel it’s all just a part of my artwork. A great example of freedom for me is feeling able to change, so that I’m not imprisoned by my past decisions. Because I often get it wrong and show poor judgment as most probably does everyone. You see we have to live and learn which is all about making mistakes and challenging the status quo.

Oh and by the way, my spell checker no longer works on wordpress 😦 so there will be quite a few typos.

Thanks for looking and have a great day 😉



In spite of everything and in spite of self, I do feel that life offers a challenge to find the real you. The unmasked soul that feels at one with thought and action, where truth is a mere fluent part of being. In my experience this fluency is felt in fleeting moments when I think and contemplate the challenges of artistic authenticity. In particular as I search for a theoretical truth and relevance to artistic expression which is beyond the trivialisation of the cloacking judgmental criteria (which art is subjected to through societies gaze).


It’s not that my life is a consciously active search but more a state of being in which I feel compelled to find some truth to my existence beyond the narratives imposed by society. Living a life without accepting the conventional benchmarks of society which exist as markers to safely guide us through life. And I feel this way because in order to express myself freely as an artist I need to feel free as a human being to feel and experience life without the predjudice of expectation and contrived values.


Expectation in itself is a complicated area in art for many reasons, ranging from what one feels society expects and how society shapes us into conformist beings within the parameters of  expectation. Here lies a fundamental problem, in that our national identity shapes us into ways of being and seeing which demonstrate our predicament. A predicament which imprisons art and compromises the freedom of human expression with the invisible constraints of conditioning. These are the challenges laid down to the artist and the invitation is to break them down. To burst through convention and discover the possibilities of a free human spirit.


Breaking down convention is where art comes alive and offers society something of  real value, value which goes beyond money and vanity. Because its a soulful value which can help people to see beyond the values of society and realise their human state. Art which is not about liking or taste but instead a direct communication from soul to soul. The base line of what I’m saying is that art is neither good or bad unless you impose a judgement upon it and a judgement is the subject of a bias. In fact one could go as far as saying that the more a person understands the conventions of art the less they are able to understand and see it without prejudice.


So to truly see and feel art, it may be that all you need to do is just be connected with your truth and allow impartiality to free oneself of expectation. I only write this as a reflection of my experience in trying to make art, as I’ve tried to overcome the many struggles and obstacles in my life. Fighting to break free from what feels like a metaphorical incarceration, a life in which I felt trapped, seeking desperately to free myself. I will say that after many years I do feel that I’ve freed myself on many levels and am now able to understand the constraints of society, nationality and the overwhelming doctrines which we impose upon ourselves and others.


As for my future as an artist, this is something I have grave doubts about, simply because I have no ambition or desire to show or make any new work. I’m tired of the struggle in trying to convince people of the relevance of my work because its very much like putting a square peg in a round hole. Art is a done deal in society and controlled through institution yet artists are free spirits in search of freedom. Their vulnerability laid bare through judgemental expectations and financial enslavement.

Thanks for looking and have a great day 🙂


Everything is Art is Everything


It took me almost forty years to understand what I knew when I was sixteen, which is how in my childhood I was conditioned by society into ways of seeing, thinking and believing. I felt restricted back then to point where I remember crying out in frustration as I tried to grasp what existing within society was all about, always aware that there was something more real. And that a grounding reality was my birth right as a life form cast out onto the surface of a planet, inextricably connected to the force that facilitates creation.

Being a part of this huge infinity is something I still feel unable to deny and even though I will never understand it, I do believe we as sentient beings can feel it in our moments of silence. In making art I’ve spent so much time trying to connect to what I am and in spite of the distractions of society I feel that I’ve made some progress in my own ways of seeing. Observing imagery and understanding that all creativity (natural and man-made) can be viewed as art.

As the years have passed by I’ve grown increasingly aware of a fundamental duality in our lives, our natural state of being and our social (society dwelling) being. It’s a duality which tears me apart as an artist, because I feel able to see through the constructs of society which are there to limit our possibilities. These constructs teach us what art is and yet when you explore creativity art is so much more than formal arrangements. Art is in its essence really, well just an unquantifiable set of possibilities.

Ball Bag

If you take creativity as a fundamental tenet of art, then art is everything and everything is art because everything (which exists) is the subject of a creative process. Through subjectivity and objectivity everything is also interesting by its very nature of existence, whilst some things may please or capture some of us more than others. So following this assumption of art, it makes it a huge part of life and fundamental to the existential actuality of being.

And so as an artist, making art has taught me that there really is no good or bad art unless you subjectively judge it with preconceptions. It has also taught me that nature is art in itself, as it perpetually applies new coatings and life forms on the global canvas we call planet earth. But what I feel that being (a so-called) an artist has taught me, is that my role is more about provoking people into seeing in new ways and embracing the visual feast of existential living. Because art (for me) is not about individuals being amazing but instead an appreciation of this beautiful life and world that we (often) take for granted.

Sometimes I’m guilty of taking nature for granted, accepting it as my actuality and then sometimes I question what exactly it is, which is a question beyond my comprehension. As humans we can impose upon the wonders of nature with our self declared artistic mastery, but if we try too hard we may just become poor imitators and try hards, unable to really see, hear ,touch, taste and smell true wonders. Beings blinded by ego, vanity and ambition existing in the man-made world. Which is why I feel that a bit of humility helps in the serving up and dishing out of art.

I’ve felt torn apart as I tried to express myself and find a place within society so that I could exist with food and shelter. Selling my art to pay my way and in the process treading on my dreams with the dilution of my possibilities. The reality has been a life of compromise in which I’ve had to trawl the depths to understand the predicament which we as humans face. And on a theoretical level I now feel able to understand life a little and have found a meaning and purpose of art.

love hate war peace

Thanks for looking 🙂

The Whole in my Soul

A few years ago I became aware that I was unable to express myself without filtering my content and felt imprisoned by  an invisible source. On reflection I believe it concerned the taming of my spirit as my art and raw state of being had to be compromised for the (art)world in which my art was a commodity. I was seen as having a raw talent but it needed to be directed towards a more sanitized commodification. The problem with this was that the compromise was very much the thin end of a wedge which damaged the inspiration behind my work. I the artist felt obliged to be honest and yet I felt separated from my truth. I felt so compromised that I couldn’t even write, sculpt, speak or draw my own truth.

I discovered that there was no space or place for an ordinary and poor person to make art within a wealthy society because one has to achieve an economic status to survive. And so it was that through my adventures I uncovered this problem within, I found myself stuck in a reality which I felt was controlling my life. An actuality that’s possibly a symptom that many people will be aware of through the compromise society imposes upon us, but as an artist you feel it very directly through the process of open expression.

I still remember that unbearable feeling of being held by this invisible force which could only be broken by expressing what I felt was the truth. I know that this may sound a bit precious but as an artist it was compromising my expressions and making my life feel worthless. Because if I as an artist felt unable to express a candid truth I wondered about where in society the confrontation of truth may take place.

There is good news for me because the optimism which stains my soul always prevails in the end, and I did find my way back to authenticity. Now when I write an entry in my blog I write what I feel without fear or expectation, something which I still have to carry forward into my art. My art being an area of my life which I abandoned a year ago in order to resolve my direction.

As an artist I feel I’ve returned to ground zero and am almost ready to begin again, though I really don’t know what will happen. So much has changed in my approach to life and my ability to see through the facade of society feels more intense. However my soulful purpose feels as it always has which is in part a dismissal of society and the social issues which disconnect me from my core humanity.

So as an artist I may just continue to focus on the miraculous mystery of being, of life without logic or rational explanation. A life making art which flies in the face of the current art trends of contextual, conceptual and social commentary. Art which is not about societal art within the western canon of tradition, but art which is about a focus of expression from the whole of the soul. The undiluted expression as an attempt to connect beyond contrived narrative.

Thanks for looking 🙂

The Impossibility of Everything

I recall a conversation I had with a friend whilst driving in the south of England a few years ago in which he said this moment is like an impossibility. Sitting here together driving, talking and taking life for granted within the context of space, time and infinite possibility. An ordinary actuality that depended on everything ever happening before (the way it did), a moment just part of the ongoing moments which in turn impact the future. We both felt that the possibility of circumstance is almost impossible as a mathematical probability, yet an inevitability of existence. Every moment of life a special and precious gift, bound in this contradiction of magic and inevitability.

As a human being it’s possible to take ones predicament for granted, yet our individual existence is manifest from a trillions to one probability, which I believe makes each and every life miraculous and special. Every moment in our existence special just because it occurred against the odds of it ever occurring. This complex construction of a living breathing entity with a beating heart is a complete mystery and yet more often than not we take this for granted and live lives bound and influenced by the social pressures imposed by society.

This beautiful magic of existential life is so amazing that I believe it deserves exploration in the purest of ways. Or at least a pause and a moment of recognition and reflection to realise what actually occurs to allow us to experience the present, the right here and the right now. As in a life stripped bare to the point of confronting existence and the search for a true connection to source. This is where I feel that art has a major role to play in society, because it is where we humans can express ourselves without formal language or concepts. We can just make marks as intuitive gestures, expressions from the soul and from whatever connects us to existence. Expression as an open gesture without the imposition of order, logic or rational interference. expression which allows us to see within and beyond conscious imposition.

As an artist I want to feel my connection, which is why I feel compelled to rebel against the taming of the spirit. And also to rebel against the order of society which tries to separate me from the truth of my existence and the importance of being. My hope is that by following a desperate desire for understanding, it will allow me to further understand existence through the singularity of a connected soul, going beyond the distraction of society. To just glimpse as far as my sensory perception will allow and then a little bit more so that I may understand beyond the obvious and feel what it is to be.

Sometimes I look at computer generated images of the solar vortex we inhabit, followed by images of our galaxy and then finally of the cosmic web and I do this in the hope of understanding the circumstance of our existence. Then I think about the limitation of human sensory perception and wonder how it could be possible to understand the complexity of everything with such a simple way of seeing. It does make me profoundly aware of my limitations and how closed my mind is to the possibilities beyond what I think I know. Then I wonder about Dr Seuss and his book “Horton Hears a Who” and I wonder if our world is a microscopic part of something so big that we are incapable of seeing it.

I must admit that seeing the truth of the world as a microscopic part of something bigger helps me to cope with the concept of infinity. And it does this because it allows me to think on a different scale that goes beyond the logic of human perception. Simply because what I take as absolute, may just be entirely wrong and that what I need to be able to see or understand is something so unexpected that I must not take anything for granted.

In this context of time and space my knowledge really amounts to zero but within me as within all of us there is an absolute connection to the source of life and existence. So what if the truth is in there as an intuitive knowledge that we are born with. Accessible through the expressions and marks we make as beings, a possibility which would make art fundamentally important to civilization.

What we are dealing with as conscious organic life forms is massive, huge concepts and notions, becoming ever more complicated as assumed knowledge increases. Perhaps it’s down to the inherent infinity which may exist in every aspect of being, to the point where we really can’t grasp on to anything with certainty. Something which society in its generalisation and dumbing down of existence doesn’t help with. But I also realise that in my thinking I’m imposing my limited perceptions on a vastness which can’t be harnessed by the workings of my mind.

But whatever the answers are to these huge questions, we can look at our own lives within our circumstance and really comprehend the “impossibility of everything” in what at times may seem a mundane and ordinary life. At least then we can appreciate the amazing beauty of existence, the waking up on a morning to yet another special day in the company of fellow strangers. Living together in so-called civilization without really understanding our predicament of what we are, how we got here and whether or not there is a purpose.

In the making of art, or even contemplating the making of art, one is forced to think about the meaning of life. Of course there is no singular answer,  though just maybe there is a feeling that something feels right for the moment. However we evolve and develop and ask further questions, sometimes we get it right and sometimes we fail, and we learn and move on. But as with all human pursuits there is no right or wrong, good or bad within the realms of human expression, that is untill we apply judgements.  Judgements which often become shared and established as part of societal sensibility and imposed as values.

So you forget the judgements and do what you do, if it feels right you’re heading in the right direction. If it don’t feel right then you keep on looking and trying till you find your way.

Have a beautiful day and thanks for looking 🙂




Eine lose Sammlung zur Dokumentation meiner Werke und Gedanken

Art and Design with Ms Lee

Art and Design at St Catherine's school


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Awakening Journey

My Spiritual Awakening through Kundalini

İnsanlık Hali

Her insanda insanlığın bütün halleri vardır- Montaigne


Helping Men Break Free from Abusive Relationships Since 2009

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Improving the English language one letter at a time


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Art is escapist, and escapism is inescapable

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