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2017 a good year for silence


“I’m back”

Hello beautiful people in WordPress World 🙂  I’m back, because after having sold a few sculptures this year I was able to afford to upgrade my WordPress account and buy a little more GigaBitage where I can share my thoughts, ideas and evolving imagery.


2017 has been a year of transition for me in which I finally made that leap out of my creative confusion towards a more independent state of self actualisation. I’ve done this by relentlessly working on my imagery and by refining my ideas until I was able to achieve a level of clarity. It’s been a year in which I’ve not created much new imagery but instead I’ve dedicated my time to making finished works which I will curate into an exhibition with about five specific themes.  The exhibition will feature  drawings and prints to support sculptural elements and will also include a certain amount of text. I’m actually hoping to develop my themes in this blog and establish all that contextual stuff, so that I can submit a proposal to various centres of art.



One of the five themes I’m developing for the exhibition will be called “Identity ~ In ~ Crisis” and will focus on studies of the human head. Exploring the multi-dimensional nature of being, our context within the specificity of time and the crisis we are facing in our accelerating evolution. It’s really quite exciting for me because it’s a huge subject to explore and there is much to work out in order to produce a coherent body of work and ideas.


As part of my commitment to this exhibition proposal, I will be developing a narrative through which I can express my ideas and I hope to use a much broader approach to creativity than I’ve used before. This means breaking further away from the work which formed the foundations of my life as “The Equestrian Sculptor”, though not losing touch with the skills it taught me.


Bye for now and have a great day 🙂

The Modular Art of Elements


(Rotator, a ceramic sculpture with a rotating horse mounted on a steel spindle)

I’ve been making equestrian sculpture for over thirty years,  exploring new ways of composing the two elements. Those elements being the horse and the rider in their various forms. It’s been a fascinating voyage of discovery and has evolved through a natural process of selection, rejecting failed compositions and embracing the more successful ones. Never really knowing where I was going beyond a direction of  discovery.

Recently my work has moved forward with personal advances in technique,   finding ways to make horses from a modular approach.  This involves making a series of moulds for horses bodies, heads, necks and legs, which allow me to make horses in almost any positions. When I’m unable to make one I need, I make a new set of moulds to enable its production. It’s a technique I’ve employed with figures in the past and one which has now become central to the development and production of my sculpture. And not only does it allow me to try out more ideas, it also makes it possible to sell the resulting work at realistic prices.

The issue that I’ve always had with equestrian sculpture is that there is never a single solution to resolve an idea, as one idea leads seamlessly into another and another add infinitum. Because of this I found the process of sculpture was restricting my development, due to the lack of time it afforded me to produce the sculpture I felt capable of. Often I’d have to make a decision which meant I avoided or missed lines of enquiry. My lifes work being restricted by the process of sculpture, in which so much time is invested in production. Because with each new sculpture, an armature must be made, followed by a lengthy modelling process, then the cutting up of the sculpture for the moulding. A process which can take weeks, just to produce a relatively small Horse and rider. To pay for my efforts I’d have to edition the work, which is quite repetitive and soul destroying, I don’t mind making one or two copies but twenty was just too many.

Further to my modular moulding I’ve also developed a technique for joining the elements of my  horse and rider sculptures together which allows the sculptures to  be disassembled and reassembled in different configurations. It also allows for different riders and horses to be combined making the possible combinations quite mind-boggling. And of course this approach has led to another set of ideas which can be released by these new methods.

These new techniques are allowing me to  make the sculptures that I feel need to be made in order to express a broader approach to equestrian art. Sculpture which fills the gaps left historically, leading to a greater freedom of expression, and most importantly art which is reflecting contemporary life.

Importantly to me this approach is fun and exciting and would also work on a much larger scale, making it possible to have large bronze equestrian sculptures which could be rearranged to enliven the environment.

I’ve not yet photographed these new pieces and their Fixings, but will do in the near future when I’ve completed a few of the possible permutations.

Have a great day 🙂



The Art of Existential Crises

Kiss My Rider

I’ve spent a long time searching for a sense of freedom, a time of personal confrontation and deconstruction as I tried to rid myself of the values imposed upon me through the insideous grooming of society. It’s led to many personal crises, because there’s no support for an artist caught up in an act of personal rebellion. But I had to find a sense of freedom in order to define a relevance as an artist, from a life with meaning. Hopefully because of this, the art I offer has a validation and truth beyond vanity, ego and show. A true reflection of what I see and feel, a reflection and interpretation of the crazy nature of existence.

In the act of expression an artist is confronted by infinite possibility,  an infinity from which they are invited to make selections in order to form an expression. (An existence where there are no singal options, outcomes or destinations awaiting.) Once ideas are realised through these marks they can be shared for others to reflect upon. This simple yet complex process of attempting to make art invariably leads to a litany of existential crises. And it does this to me through the questioning of self in what are confrontations of actuality as I look for a meaning and purpose through my actions.

This artists life is further complicated by the compromise of freedom as we are conditioned through society, shaped into the compliance of accepting the specific cultural traditions of our societies. Born free into this world before being forced to submit to the ownership of societies dependent on our compliance. Societies which hold us in bondage to a set of values, forcing us to sacrifice the truths and freedoms of actuality. A compromise that is incumbent on artists to rebel against, so that they can attempt to communicate a more fundamental human truth.

This state of compromise we humans share is sold as a package for the greater good of humanity. But in reality it is a pretty corrupt and divisive system which wreaks havoc, damaging and polluting the world through greed and avarice. Damaging humanity by restricting human possibility in our lives of broken dreams. Lives where human realisation and actualisation is substituted by a cynically constructed hierarchy. Lives where there is no true equality as we are fobbed off with the platitudes of convenience within a deeply manipulative system. All for the greater good of the few who seek to manipulate humanity through the simplification of our hopes and dreams.

In the face of this existence I see through the eyes of an anarchist as I search for my own human freedom. So that I may express from the freedom of my own soul, with an understanding of who and what I am. Slowly forming my own principled life in which my expressions reflect my intuitive impulse. Art which reflects the irrational and illogical nature of complex organic existence beyond the controlling dogmas of convenient explanations. Art which reflects the truth of how I feel about the actuality of existence, wandering on the surface of a planet. Just enjoying the privilege of being alive without truly understanding it in a rational context.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a fantastic day 🙂

The Impossibility of Everything

Up Up and Away

I’ve spent my life exploring equestrian composition because I felt the rich history of human endeavour in this field had missed out too many possibilities. It was a decision I made as a young man and sometimes I wonder whether or not it was the right choice, or if that decision did in fact become a cage which restricted the possibilities of my expression. And I wonder about this because of the changing times and the shift in perceptions of what art is in contemporary society and the growing trends towards the more conceptual approach.

It’s been quite a curious experience in which I feel that I’ve made a significant contribution to equestrian composition and yet it has gone unoticed in my society. And perhaps this is because the connection to tradition has been severed by the populist movements in art which lean towards a more obvious narrative, with a greater emphasis on styling.

The Art of Being Blue

My decision to pursue an experimental approach to equestrian sculpture has led me to produce a fascinating body of work and make a unique contribution to this genre of art. A contribution which is the result of exploring the conceptual possibilities of equestrian composition on many levels from the simple mechanics of geometry to the complexity of the spiritual expression. Compositions which more recently explore impulse and intuition, which have materialised from the more rational and logical mind set of my earlier works. Art which now more openly explores and embraces the great mystery of life, connected through the mystery of composition, finding comfort in connection as opposed to searching for impossible answers

Yes, my approach to art has changed and evolved, as the challenges of living as an artist have fundamentally changed my approach to life. Something which I view as a curious wisdom which informs me that the more I learn, only reveals my limitations with a greater clarity. And so I move on with a growing curiosity, never satisfied with my achievements, achievements which only serve to invite me to explore further and in greater depth. A life without conclusions, because there is so much more to life than a search for the quantifiable and finite.

up and away

Through my sculpture, I’m looking for freedom of expression, with a level of respect towards my predecessors and an eye on future possibilities and generations, yet without simplistic linear constraints. In short I wish to explore every possibility which feels relevant to my experience of existence and tenure of a mortal being. For example I wish to explore the complex nature of chaotic geometry whilst exploring the spiritual aspect of being. I would also like to explore the rational logic of conformity in conjuction with the absolute anarchy and complexity of our inexplicable circumstances. That through my art I will understand and yet realise that I will never truly understand, beyond what I feel inside. Something which I feel is in part realised through the deep sense of connection I get by pursuing my own truth through artistic expression. And it’s in the pursuit of truth and integrity that art becomes defined as an important human expression. A window into the mystery of being, unadulterated by the dogmas of society enforced upon us by fashion and trends. The timeless truths of being unaffected by the constructs of marketing and fashion. Art is Freedom 🙂

the sun is on my side

To make art I feel I must live and experience my own existence, learning to trust and believe in my own sentient experience as well as allowing the the force of being to be an intrinsic part of my actuality. To feel my life from within as a connected element of timeless existence and to feel my life as a reaction to the varying sentient possibilities of environment. I believe that exploring this complex state of being which we all share can come together through art, through a simple expression of truth. A simple expression from the infinite compexity of our dynamic possibility. In this sense art is fundamentally simple, though it is complicated by the weight of expectations and information overload, which is why I often feel the need to withdraw and contemplate my actuality.

Why Hello

My experience as an artist has taught me that we are equals outside (of the protocols of society), and that we are all artists in some form or other. Because as sentient creatures we observe, contemplate and express our feelings and reactions.

I hope you have a beautiful day 🙂

Sweet Mysteries of Art


As an artist I don’t really know what I’m doing or why I’m making the art that I do. However I do have a notion of my intent, which is to try to further understand my circumstance through a stream of expression, like an outpouring of consciousness. Art which I feel goes beyond the intellectual and delves into the soulful nature of humanity and existence.

I try to channel my thoughts through the limitations of my abilities, so that I may express what I think that I feel and also learn from the results as I watch the work unfold and develop. Through this approach I hope to avoid the contrivance and conceit of offering an absolute narrative,  because I feel working to a specific agenda puts limitations on the lateral possibilities of human expression. And this  lateral approach feels more important than ever to me with the linear constraints of economic based societies.

So what is my art about then ? Well it’s about an open exploration of the nature of being, an engagement with whatever feels relevant through the experience of existence and the occupation of a life. To this extent it comes from within whilst also being reactionary to the imposition of societal values. Art without rules that can wander freely in the direction it finds through enquiry, art which is not held within the confines of tradition and history.

And I guess ultimately that my art is leading towards freedom from the constraints of society so that I may realise and understand a purpose to my existence in a divine sense as opposed to a societal sense. My art is also confronting  conventional wisdom which is used to collectively compromise our lives and it’s probably in this area where I find that  I’m able to articulate my discoveries, because it’s the place where I challenge my own rigidity.

The complex nature of life means that my work ebbs and flows through all the distractions and obstacles out there, but there is a developmental arc in which the layers of my work build up to offer a more insightful narrative. My honest contribution to the big conversation which is going on out there as human consciousness evolves through our collective will.

Through my art I do get a sense that we are going through an interesting period of awakening as information starts to flow more freely and the consequences of our prosperity materialise. The once untouchable establishments are being challenged because people are perceiving new ways of empowerment against the machine, all of which is eroding what was once taken for granted. Something I find inspiring because for me it shines a light towards greater human freedom and the exploration of alternative possibilities.

Sometimes I look at the art world as a microcosm of society and I see the problems which society faces from its imprisonment within a system which controls it. Because I see art governed by the same hierarchical system, the tail wagging the dog. I see art led by the market and expectations of the system as opposed to art being led by free thinking artists, pretty much like the politicians that have no conviction beyond ambition. And this is a huge problem in my eyes because of the sacred nature of art and its true value to society and on the bigger scale of society the sacred nature of our humanity is sacrificed for the ambition of a few.

To find my human freedom I had to distance myself from the art world so that I could explore whatever I felt relevant, away from the prying eyes of the judgmental environment. And in doing so I believe I’ve found a whole new meaning for art, one in which art is a complex yet simplistic offering for everyone to experience and understand. Art made as an honest expression to communicate with the ordinary people of society. Art which works because I’m not trying to be clever in some pseudo intellectual way, in fact I’m not trying to be anything other than genuine and honest, because I have nothing to prove. And it’s a relief to say good-bye to all those years of living in expectation with the hurdles, hoops, obstacles and ambitions which society etches into our consciousness.

I really do hope that my art communicates how I feel about life and what art has taught me because in one sense it really is quite simple. The message is really one of encouraging equality and empowerment of the individual. To question, enjoy and celebrate the beautiful complexity of our mysterious existence.


I hope you have a beautiful day 🙂

The Sacred Nature of Art


My art has taken a profound turn since I changed my approach from a more traditional perspective to one in which I attempt to explore my intuitive intelligence. This new direction is complicated and dynamic and is without a formal structure beyond exploring what feels relevant in the moment. I don’t make art to impress or to be liked and there is no career path or expectation. .

My evolving process involves the usual intensity of thought,  life observation and experience, and working creatively with what manifests itself within my mind and hands. For example I can’t say what I will be doing tomorrow because I have no idea and I can’t work at long-term project based art because it restricts the flow of my creativity.  And so as my creativity looks to explore the uncertainty of existence, I find it can’t be scheduled through conventional practice. Which is why my flow of work may appear to be somewhat erratic and counter intuitive to the more conventional career driven approach.

The only long-term goal I currently have is for greater freedom so that I can connect to what I believe is the purity of  human creative intuition. What lies within the depths of humanity that connects us to the source of our existence. It’s a kind of art beyond ego and beyond the constraints of the art world, which is why I have no ambition beyond surviving on a material level, making imagery which communicates to others and informs myself.

I’ve recently read about the concept of the 3D matrix  and have found this helpful in my  understanding of life and society. And it’s helped me to view planetary life as one aspect or level of existence. Life as we know it within an organic matrix where we experience existence through our five senses. A matrix in which an aspect of existence or being is experienced through a mortal life on earth. It’s  also allowed me to see (even more clearly) the constructs of society which I feel can restrict human experience through disconnection and fear. And I believe that I’m finally understanding my deep sense of discontent and dissociation with the simplistic notions of enforced human containment.


So having gone through a fairly brutal self-inflicted period of deconstruction of self and my environment I feel more equipped to explore life without boundaries. To look at the possibilities of existence beyond the confines of logic and common sense. With this new approach each day is a blank canvas waiting to be filled with the unfolding experience and I can just enjoy my life without expectation and maybe even enjoy my flow of existential crises.

I’ve always maintained a belief that through art we connect and have a window into the deeper mysteries of existence. And for my part the reference to cave art was always deeply felt as was working with the ancient clays that were once worked by people as far back as the time of the caves. I still find working with clay to be quite extraordinary, and I’ve noticed in my limited spells of working in schools how the mood changes when people start to work with clay. It can be almost hypnotic as people connect to a truly fundamental aspect of being, almost like a meditation. A connection of the mind and body, through which we start to remember who and what we are through manipulating a piece of earth.

Of late I’ve “switched on tuned in and dropped out” a bit more and limited the amount of commercial art I make, so that I can develop my art without constraints. And in doing so I must face the consequences, which often means having to survive tremendous poverty, which can be hard to handle, because of the pressure it brings to bear. But somehow I always survive and my ideological approach only strengthens, because I have a genuine reason and a purpose.  It’s an uncomfortable life which feels real and present and not one for the faint hearted who seek comfort in the material world. But I do feel that art is hard-core and on the edge, a tough choice which requires absolute commitment.


What I have found incredible about my experience is how it relates to all the issues we’re currently facing in society. From climate change to the political situation and beyond to the cosmos. All matters which have come to my attention as a direct result of becoming open to the circumstance of my existence. So instead of just being actively connected to the  societal expectations of an artist I’ve also connected to the essence of my humanity which I feel allows me to make more informed art. A consequence which often leaves me caught between these two very different aspects of being.

I along with the current mood feel that humanity is at a crossroad and dramatic changes lie ahead. Change that may be a gentle evolution or change that may be forced by the consequence of our collective actions and irresponsible treatment of the planet.  And I must admit to finding it all fascinating from the perspective of my creative exploration. Because through the connectivity of art you get a feel for what is happening in the world, but how relevant this is only time will tell due to the nature of our perpetual uncertainty.

I can’t help myself from being drawn to the romantic notion that through art one has the ability to connect  with the  source of ones existence. To become one and briefly touch upon what it is that we are born with, before it becomes distant to the ways of rational and hierarchical society. The truth of our existence beyond ego and beyond the weight of the pressure which societal traditions use to smother our souls. The truth you feel when you are alone in an undisturbed state of being as you listen to your heart and feel each  breath of oxygen enrich your body. And I feel this is the richness which art brings to your soul as you become lost in a harmonious truth.

Making art is a privilege and can be quite beautiful, making one feel that life is divine and sacred,  as it connects on the deepest of levels. Allowing us to feel the timeless nature of being and the beautiful gift of life. And it’s my grounded ideological beliefs in this beauty which softens the harsh realities where art and society meet.

I often say it’s not easy being me but I think many people  feel the same, as the cracks start to appear within the establishments of western societies, exposing truths about the sacrifice of our humanity. But the good thing is that people are awakening through a need for understanding the truth and purpose of being. And this is why I feel art is so important and also why sincerity is so important. Because it can be a catalyst in offering a level of insight which may trigger a response and open people’s lives to otherwise forgotten possibilities. As an artist I may fail, but at least my intent is based on an attempt offer absolute sincerity.

The sharing of my art has brought me wonderful exchanges with many people, in which there has been a refreshing dialogue of ideas about the nature of existence. Conversations which have allowed me to awaken further to my deeper responsibilities as an artist. And as an artist I do my part by sharing all my thoughts and ideas from the connectivity of my existence. A life in which I now feel like an equal, a life in which I have no allegiance to a flag, because fundamentally I’m just another human incarnation existing on a huge planet.

Right now life feels quite simple after a few years of reprogramming my mind and I feel lighter and less burdened though the wolf hangs out pretty near to my door at all times. I’m still aware that I have much to do, but for now the direction my life has taken feels right. And I hope to be able to make some magical art to reflect the direction my life is taking.

Have a beautiful day 🙂



A Subtle Revolution


A Subtle Revolution

I sometimes feel restricted by the traditions, institutions and expectations of society, which is why I struggle to break free to empower myself. To take control over my own life and work without the censorship of conventional dogma. And whilst this may sound simple, it actually isn’t, because there are consequences and ramifications from individualism.

In contemporary society we are witnessing an explosion of a type of individualism, (the result of a perception of empowerment) as globalisation in its many forms runs rampant across the world. Fuelled by social media and affordable global communications, new virtual communities are growing around most aspects of human interest. This new way feels empowering as it gives us all a voice but it also takes us out of our physical reality and subjects us to a bombardment of global indoctrination. Confronting us with a duality that is just part of the eternal dichotomy life throws in our path as we are forced to make choices, our prerogative being to make the choices which define actuality. And the hope is that we become discerning enough to make the right choices for the benefit of society and the sustainability of the planet.

I personally feel that we are entering a new era, a time for the people to have a voice which could shape our collective direction in a subtle revolution. Because being the unwilling passengers at the mercy of a few drivers is not only a recipe for disaster but also undemocratic. And so as the rigid structures erode to expose the agendas imposed upon the masses, changes will seamlessly evolve. Together we are a stronger as a collective because when you pool human resources together for a common goal, inclusivity allows greater development. As opposed to people working for themselves in the secrecy of the paranoid atmosphere of copyrighting, so as to benefit their own agenda. Because if individualism is to work towards progress it must  be through a connectivity to the whole or common purpose.

I personally feel the “hope” that this improved global communication is offering, as more people feel empowered to become active and pursue their passions. And it’s the reason why I blog and share my work on the various platforms of my choice. Yes I have a personal agenda in terms of self realisation because I know that I must evolve in order to offer anything of value. In my case it’s allowing me to pursue the truth of my art and make a more relevant contribution to the great debate concerning art and society. Because not only can I show my work, I can also explain the reasoning behind it and what making it has taught me. Allowing me to make my art more accessible to a broader demographic in what is the realisation of a democratizing gesture. My contribution to bring art to the ordinary people like myself, whilst maintaining a commitment to all interested parties. A modest contribution to the awakening global consciousness.

Perhaps one of the biggest challenge which lays ahead is the real world realisation of virtual concepts, which is needed in order to create real and lasting change in society. Something which I feel is already happening through many initiatives and something which I’m trying to address in my own life as I search for venues through which I can share my work with a broader public. A way of making art work in society with the same democratizing values it has here in virtual land. Art for everyone without the imposition of superfluous values and agendas.

“When I Look Back Upon My Life”

Before the dawning of the age of the internet in the early eighties, I felt the intensity of isolation as an artist working alone and unattached in the UK. I felt the pressures and the influence of an oppressive state, forcing me down the narrow institutional paths. And I accepted my repression and censorship because I could see no other options than working with the existing structures of hierarchy. A time in which I denied many aspects of my humanity, through the fear which society imposed upon me. But through the passage of time my commitment to art slowly awakened my soul and when I was ready and the circumstances were right, it woke me up with a Bang. I knew at this juncture in my life that there would be no going back to sleep, as I had the chance to exist in the way I dreamed about. And so I was confronted with a huge challenge to move forward in my life, simply because I was ready. To move towards the values of humanity and away from the values imposed by society.

In one sense I didn’t feel like the author forcing this change, but more like I was at the mercy of a deeper spiritual calling in which I had to relinquish control, control that is the consequence of fear. I was also a part of the global trend moving towards a spiritual freedom. It was like I could feel and hear the universe in a way that is beyond the obvious and yet not tangible as a coherent whole. An awareness of all that I had once ignored and it wasn’t a huge shift, but more of being awakened to my sensory perceptions. A realisation that all the answers to my questions lay within the fabric of everything and that if I listened to life around me, I would find a way forward. A way to live my life that would bring a state of oneness in which I could live without compromise.

And now I’ve realised that beyond the torment of frustration which making art has delivered to my soul, there is something quite beautiful. A place and space where my being is enhanced by the timeless values and qualities of existence. A place where I can feel and touch upon the latent mystery which lays within the fabric of everything. Just to be aware that I’m a part of the whole allows me to trust in my intuition and what I feel within the connected matter of my being.

I feel life is so much more than what is imposed through the finite confines of societal agenda, which is why the virtual lands offer so much hope. And even though so much may seem to be trivial, the reality is that people are awakening to having a voice and in time those voices will find a direction. They will also find a purpose and move into the real world as the gentle revolution unfolds.

Have a wonderful day 🙂 (is back)


I’m delighted to announce that is back after I managed to build my own website.  I’m quite proud of this work in progress which I’m constantly reworking so that it feels just right. The site is a way of showcasing my work, it has a blog and it also has a shop too.

Oh and here’s my second blog from the site 🙂

I decided to count all the images I’ve been working on over the past five years and it came to about 8000. Explaining why my mind is often fit to burst as I wrestle to remember them. The sheer number of these images led to a greater level of intensity over the past year and has been particularly absorbing. A challenge which has made me more withdrawn in many aspects of my life, because I needed the time and energy to achieve some level of order with my creativity and to withdraw from outside influences on my work. I needed thousands of hours to study and make art so that I could grow and develop from my creativity, which in turn meant I had something of value to offer.

With my drawing I’m working towards multiple goals and my hope is to make progress so that I may find the time and space to relax a little and reflect upon the work. But for now I must continue with my commitment simply because my image making has become so informative, it’s almost like holding up a mirror that tells me who and what I am. In fact I’ve never felt as comfortable with myself as I do now, because in some way I feel like I understand myself. It’s like I’m living out what I feel is my truth, in a life which is leaving compromise behind.

Setting up this website has been a very important step for me because it gives me a platform to establish the principled way of being which is behind my creativity. Giving me the opportunity to make what I believe in and to share it as well. I don’t believe it will be easy and already I feel some levels of inner conflict as I look to impose my values on a different approach to a more inclusive art. So I must have faith that there is a space and place in my society that will be able to support what I do.

With my creativity I’m trying to communicate from within and that is the value of my art, a sincere gesture in my search for some level of truth.  I’m not looking to feed the art market, furnish art collections or impress critics, because I believe human creativity has something more profound to offer to everyone. And so I search for a valid way of making art that is not about impressing or searching for admiration, and this is challeging as it requires strength of character and resolve  to maintain self-belief through periods of hardship and drought. Fortunately I have enough faith to keep on for now, believing in what I feel deep within as I’ve searched my soul over the years in order to make art.

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day 🙂  you could always leave a comment and start a conversation 🙂

The Art of Human Truth

For my entire adult life I’ve struggled and fought for my independence in order to find and hold onto my freedom. The freedom to realise my birth-right as a born free individual, so that I may explore the truth which lays within. It’s not been easy and I’ve become utterly lost many times along the way, but at least for the moment I’m able to tenuously hold onto an element of truth which is increasing my understanding of being.

Fracked 1

It’s a complicated existence in which I have to endure societal assimilation, so that I may understand my circumstance. Whilst rejecting an acceptance of the values of capitalism in order to realise an independent trajectory towards freedom. The consequences of this way of life,  living with my own simplistic values becomes a complicated web of socially counter intuitive reasoning. Where by my decisions fly in the face of common sense, but straight into the arms of intuitive reasoning.

The art of companionship

This trajectory is a result of the invitation art offers me to explore existence without superficial boundaries and I feel utterly compelled to follow it, in order to achieve a substantial meaning to my brief existence. I have tried other approaches to creativity having been groomed within the confines of establishment thinking, but my work was never truly accepted and I never felt comfortable with the values extolled. So I eventually opted for a freestyle approach in which I attempt to be me, but I can tell you it’s far from easy. And I struggle each day to realise the ideas floating around in my conscious thoughts, ideas waiting to materialise through my distracted state of being. Because my conditioning within society has hampered my ability with countless distractions.

The extraordinary act of experiencing adversity

Within the societal approach to art I’m not a team player because I see self realisation as the goal of an artist, in order to demonstrate a unique vision to society. And my path to self realisation is not one which conforms to the current trending of values within the art world. For this reason my struggle to survive on a material level, as an artist has been very hard, with  no help from the established institutions of the art world because of it’s conformist approach. However I am a team player in the bigger picture because I feel we all have a contribution to make to society in order to add to the rich texture of possibility.


My adventure in the arts has been curious to say the least and eventually as an artist I had to ditch all my ambitions and accept a life financially compromised to an extreme in order to get somewhere close to achieving my potential. Because I realised that to become someone I must first accept that I’m no one and from that position I could build a more empirical belief through doing and realising. That I would be the work in progress and humbled by a deeper truth.


In the early days I had no idea what the consequences of my own odyssey would be. My life adventure being the one slot I was sure about, where my energies would exist in this human form. A life where I found the beauty of uncertainty, witnessed in a life of unfolding surprises, delivering priceless treasures of discovery. A life of deep faith in humanity, unplanned and open to possibility so that I could step beyond myself and find something beyond my grasp, something which I was previously incapable of comprehending or imagining.

I don't know what to make of this life

With the art of human freedom there are no convenient markers of achievement because it is a realm of creativity that transcends the simplistic notions of judgment.  A place where uncertainty reigns supreme. And to this extent human expression is neither good or bad, because it is just a human expression free from the constraints of a judgmental society. So as an artist the satisfaction comes from a deeper level of understanding the realisation of human possibility. That is the timeless values of our brief lives which not only relate to planetary existence but also to our cosmic existence as we hurl through space as part of an incredible solar vortex.


Art has been my greatest teacher,teaching me that life is both huge as a cosmological possibility and  also small in the earthly incarnation when hampered by the parameters of social indoctrination. You only have to look at how we as human beings fight on the surface of our planet over the trivialities of resources and the occupation of territory. Corrupted by greed and power in a global hierarchy as we feast needlessly to satiate our greedy appetites. In fact we are all too frequently blinded to the bigger picture and beauty of human existence, agitated through our social indoctrination and held as prisoners to imposed values. Governed by hierarchy, competition and status to the point where we can’t even enjoy exercise without competition.

The Bird Man

We’re actively encouraged to want more in a society governed by questionable values of consumption when in fact the answers to human happiness probably lay in the simplicity of understanding self and nurturing spiritual needs. Because harmony offers a state of being  in which we are realised, at one with our human circumstance on a planetary and cosmological level. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that to breath, eat drink and be sheltered is enough, and to just enjoy the purity and essence of existence. And when I do this I’m able to feel free and unshackled from the expectations of society. After all I’m no better than anyone else and no one is any better than me, because we are equal, just a little different. And those who feel a need to prove they are better than others should ask themselves why they they need to.

Classical Dilemma

These fundamental truths I try to explore through my art have taught me much and it’s what I try to share as my own personal contribution. An exploration of values that may or may not resonate with others, but at least I offer them as an example.

Thanks for looking 🙂

The Art of Transition


851Since I took leave of my common senses and freed myself from the clutches of a society which held me in the arms of discomfort, I’ve found my own way of being. A way of being which encompasses the philosophical, intellectual  and spiritual aspects of my intuitive creative drive. To the point that I’m now able to grow and evolve as an artist, (a little bit more) free from the constraints and imposition of societal expectation. I now feel less burdened and able to think with the freedom my existence demands of me. It’s like I’ve found my own clearing where I can at last breath fresh air once again and pursue what I feel is important. That is the understanding of aloneness as part of the human condition and togetherness too, and how these states of being correlate through interaction and how they connect. Because everything works together in a most peculiar way to make the whole, of which we are all constituent parts.

The issues I have is that art opened my eyes to a point where I saw two truths, firstly the common sense truth of society in which we jump through the hoops set out for us, by following established protocols and traditions. Rules and regulations of generalised formality which we are conditioned into following, rules which hold us in their grip for no great reason beyond social control. And secondly I became aware of my own intuitive truth, how I felt inside at the complexity of my own existence, a deep reality in which there are no rules or parameters to my possibilities. Just the vast chasm of infinite possibility waiting to be entered and explored so that I may discover something new.


I remember once feeling a level of shame at my inability to understand and obey rules but there was simply nothing I could do about it which is why I turned my back on institutions and opted for the life of an outsider. During my time at college and the few occasions which I worked for and with others, I always felt compromised like a prisoner and restricted by my environment. Which is why I seek the freedom art offers to my delicate soul, and because (in my opinion) art is a dish best served without compromise.

Throughout my life I recall countless conversations and meetings in which my values clashed with those whom I was interacting with, simply because the authentic nature of art cannot be shaped into  a state of convenience. And my thinking had been governed by my dedication to the pursuit of a thought process looking into an uncompromised approach to art. It’s not about being right or wrong either it’s simply about the difference of approach which life offers us, different ways of seeing and interpreting the same scenario. So I tried to avoid confrontations which had no way of being resolved through the different ways of seeing and I only showed a certain aspect of my art in the belief that I had to lead a compromised existence in order to exist on a material level. This was partly down to the pressure to survive and also a fear of being exposed. But it impacted upon my art and slowly it started to limit my process and effectively repressed my art and my state of being, which is why I pursue my re-engagement with art with such tenacity.


Even from the margins, a dichotomous life of two truths evolved from the constant dissatisfaction which occurred through the marketing of my art in the commercial world. Because my truth was always compromised for the convenience of a system in which the collectors and patrons are prioritized over the artist, through the watchful eyes of the dealers who become the judge and jury of acceptable art. You see art isn’t some commodity of convenience with a guaranteed outcome and there is an inherent risk to the unpredictable act of the truth which creativity invites. Because of this risk  artists are encouraged and groomed into producing what is in fact anti-art, signature art in a style, aimed at satisfying the simplistic predictability of a market. Objet d’art for a vast and elitist commodities market in what is often a show of vanity through the bragging rights of acquisition and distorted price tags. A world in which the truth of art and it’s purpose becomes lost in diluted conversations of taste. When in fact art has nothing to do with taste and what would look nice in a nice house.

In effect artists are pitted against each other by the hierarchical structures of the art world, through the various competitions and market place pecking orders, in what is nothing more than a distraction from the fundamental notions and impulses which inspire art. For we must remember that the interpretation of art is subjective and cannot be quantified by a simplistic criteria of assessment. So we have to remember that art is a human expression, a communication to society from the perspective of an equal who cares deeply enough to share their thoughts. And yet art is packaged by society with scant regard for its true value, because we are blinded by our conditioning. So we are encouraged to objectify art with economic values and blindly follow the industry shakers and the market stock, which makes art more symbolic as opposed to offering the intrinsic values of equality. Thus making artistic expression complicated for artists, because there is a conflict of values and interests, which affect the production of art and the ways of seeing art. In effect the myth makers triumph with the weight of the establishments backing, because through suggestion we all fall into line.


The whole point of my blogging and personal journey as an artist is to become one with my thoughts and creative output, so that I may understand my life better and offer something of value to the mix. To feel a level of self-realisation and spiritual freedom, so that I may enter a state in which I can think with clarity and create with a purity of intent. Just thinking without the structures, parameters and ideologies of conformist societal imposition feels like a liberation. And so as an artist I try to explore whatever I desire in whatever way I choose, further more I can share it freely without worrying how it’s received. Feeling alone enough for autonomy yet connected enough to be relevant in my own mind, because we are all fundamentally alone in our togetherness.

As I’ve become more liberated from the clutches of society, I’ve lost my  ambition and expectation because I’ve started to live out my truth. Effectively no longer in the rat race, having left the competition, because of the realisation of my own truth. Once out of the arena of competition  you can just relax and explore a singular truth. A truth in which you can’t be better or worse than any other individual because we are all different. So you enter the moment by which you follow your intuition and impulse and in my own case start to live a satisfactory life, exploring a purpose without distraction. No longer cajoled by society, or governed by expectations beyond my capabilities.

Once empowered by autonomy, ways of seeing alter and perspectives change from the compromised collective vision to a singular vision, as you start to make sense of the world you experience. And for me this is the real beauty of making art, the liberation of self in which your journey is recorded through an oeuvre and you’re even able to share it. It’s really about the empowerment it gives you to explore and understand the fundamentals of the human condition and realise a deeper philosophical understanding of existence, as a life-long scholar. And for me art is that profound and one of the deepest ways of penetrating the human soul and understanding the profound nature of actuality. The cosmic secrets which lay within our entirety, beyond the grasp of societies rules and regulations. You see art is about flying into the realms of impossibility and exploring the freedom of the soul, so that you may take comfort in understanding your being.


The actuality of life is virtually impossible through the chance nature by which we come into existence, improbable yet inevitable and our survival and experience is the culmination of chances beyond mathematical prediction. But we must take this for granted and become the proud owners of our life, something so complex and magical that it would be a sin not to celebrate and explore it. To be open to the wonderous nature of our brief occupation and to be able to express ourselves with openness, so that we become liberated from fear and judgment. This way we get the chance to realise our human potential without the constraints and restrictive practice of socially engineered imposition. That by understanding acute aloneness, what it is to exist in the singularity of our own being, we may in fact feel a greater level of connectedness, simply because there is nothing to hide behind. No barriers or fears through which we may feel vulnerable.


From the position I’ve ended up in, out-with the mainstream of society I now feel able to comfortably explore the circumstance of my own existence and connect to my own sentient perceptions. To trust my feelings and impulses, which I may record through my work or maybe just contemplate. It’s almost like a stripped down life in which I try to avoid the copious details of societal dogma, so that enough of my mind is free. You see as I’ve liberated myself from the clutches of society I’ve felt lighter as I cast away my burdens and I no longer feel imprisoned by these expectations. Neither do I feel compelled to have opinions about matters which really don’t concern my conscious state. Because my identity no longer rests upon what are the transitory opinions of the moment.

I’ve always believed that the gift of life is quite beautiful and that inside of us all we must feel that beauty of existence, as we breathe the oxygen from the air, hydrate our bodies with water  and awaken each day to the light of the sun. You see on this level there is an utter simplicity in which we can truly appreciate our brief existence. A life stripped bare in which you realise that what lays beyond the requisite  essentials of survival needs to be put into perspective. Though somehow this all seems to become lost with the overwhelming burden of stuff society imposes. And our beauty is often corrupted by the imposition of divisive dogma, be it hierarchy, ownership, confrontation, competition, survival of the fittest, corruption, exploitation, greed, war, famine and destruction. And when you analyse the reasoning behind the structures and protocols of society you discover the logic and common sense of maintaining systems through social engineering. A civilization of people distracted from their mysteriously organic states of being held firmly in the grip of society. And so we become estranged and forced into the rat race, because we have no choice, corrupted against our will, even if we disagree with codes of practice. A state of being in which it’s hard to find true satisfaction or a clear conscience because of the methodology of competition. Be it victory at the expense of a loser or profit at the expense of exploitation, because there is a hollowness if you have to establish your status at the expense of others. As an artist I’ve grown to realise that equality means everything to me and through equality I’ve found a key ingredient to my inner peace. Because I no longer feel driven or intimidated by the efforts of others, as I happily explore my own contributions to art.

And so as an artist I feel comforted by the inner beauty of my soul and whatever life throws at me because I know deep inside that I’m connected to something beyond. That which I experience when I stand with my feet rooted to the ground, gazing into the infinity above and breathing the oxygen from the air. Maybe at night when the stars are shining, or maybe under the intense light of he sun or even the contrast of stormy conditions. Connected to the simple wonders of existence without the need for it to be complicated with meaningless distraction.

Have a beautiful day ❤



Eine lose Sammlung zur Dokumentation meiner Werke und Gedanken

Art and Design with Ms Lee

Art and Design at St Catherine's school


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